Only the lonely has self-confidence.

Believe in yourself! You can do it! You are powerful! You and you alone can do everything!  Just set your mind to it.

Or not.

Alone you are nothing but a weakling; you alone are nothing. And deep inside you know it. That's why it makes you angry. That's why you continue to need other human beings' approving nod of your existence - and we do this in so many different ways, that we don't even realize how much we are draining other people by asking them to fill the void within us. Please love me, please tell me I'm pretty, please tell me I'm good enough, please tell me you love me. 

The real question is: do YOU love anyone...?

I know that this is not politically correct to say; and you may disagree, which is fine; I often disagree with myself as time goes by. After all, that is why we have a mind, isn't it? So we can CHANGE it as new stuff comes to light.

We are raised in a culture that currently promotes and rewards those that claim to know-it-all - to have found their inner power; that they are second to none. That they alone have everything they need, just by being them. Alone they believe they are immortal, or as close as it comes, anyway.

While it's always difficult to explain the absolute crucial need to believe in that you, in fact, can do anything and everything; the fallacy lies in believing that you ALONE can do it.

Alone you are nothing. 

And I'm not talking about being alone as in no one else physically around you; I'm talking about where your confidence is derived from.
Anyone who has ever gone even partway down the path of Hubris, knows how fragile the human mind is and that humans are, in fact, incredibly weak hedonistic beings when they rely on themselves (what we like to call "great self-confidence").

There is nothing great about self-confidence. 

Self-confidence is a defense mechanism that you put up - thick as a brick-wall - to protect your fragile little self from the outside. Meaning, no one will see your debilitating weaknesses, and no one will be able to see you - who you really are - due to the shield you have built, and what others will call "great self-confidence".

Kim Kardashion & Paris Hilton: Sex, drugs, and exhibitionism... 

No, this is not confidence. 

This is a brick-wall thick as steel covering up weakness. 

And with all eyes on you, 

it's no easy task to tear down your self-built brick-wall.

You come off as being tough as steel.

You're unbreakable and your friends will praise you for it; yet you will also constantly get challenged in order to be proven wrong. Your strength will constantly be challenged by the outside, because that is human nature: to challenge what seems unbreakable. But deep inside you know, that you are so fragile... so broken.... that you dare not let anyone in, lest they step on your shattered, broken pieces, and you fear the pain of the splinters penetrating into your core soul. You simply don't believe that you are able to deal with the pain at any level. You are living in constant fear of pain. There is really nothing confident nor attractive about that.

Emotions are terrifying to you and you don't have the confidence to believe that you are actually able to deal with them, so you suppress them; ignore them... you choose numbness. A pause button of sorts; unfortunately the time is still ticking.

Now there are different levels to this; not all of us will build brick-walls; some of us manage to just build a tree fence; so we deal with a bit of feelings now and then, and we can let people slightly in; and  ironically as the pain and the numbness is not totally life debilitating; many of those of us who have built simple tree fences go through our entire life like this - only partly alive; always half asleep; never hot but never ice cold either. We have adjusted to perfect fitness for a sick society. We have mastered the art of fitting into a lukewarm society contaminated with mediocricy; we avoid swimming against the stream - we simply float with it, and hope for the best (...).

The key is to find confidence in what it is that gives you strength; because you can do ANYTHING through what it is that gives you power. It's just like a lamp; the lamp must rely on an electrical output otherwise it may look pretty, but it is worth nothing and it is good for nothing.

And that is why self-confident people are, in  fact, the most vulnerable and weakest of all - they are not dealing with one single emotion, not one single feeling dare they feel as they fear it will break them. And they are constantly torn between society's praise of them being awesome and unbreakable (just namedrop any celebrity here you like..) and their own inner knowledge of that they alone are nothing (why they rely on drugs/sex/alcohol/rage outbursts/gambling/shopping/stealing etc. to numbify them).

That is weakness.

True strength is only available once you surrender every single part of you; accepting your vulnerabilities... and have faith in what gives you strength. Know what is your electrical output. Certain behaviors may grant you instant relief --- but relying on getting your power from "batteries" only lasts for so long. You will break sooner or later if you rely on running solely on batteries. It is only a matter of time; and whether you chose Duracell or some cheaper version...

"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength" Phil 4:13

You Are Not Special.

In case you missed it, here's an excerpt from the going-viral commencement address by high school teacher David McCullough, Jr. Already deemed the "You Are Not Special" speech.

"Resist the easy comforts of complacency, the specious glitter of materialism, the narcotic paralysis of self-satisfaction. Be worthy of your advantages…Like accolades ought to be, the fulfilled life is a consequence, a gratifying byproduct. It’s what happens when you’re thinking about more important things."

Lil' Kim... the lifestyle of the rich and the famous: sex, drugs 'n rock'n roll.
Does she exude happiness? How many drugs are needed to keep up this act.

The speech, basically, being a reaction to a vertically challenged generation drowning in options and narcissism - quite literally. Too many options, too little hierarchy and no common values does not make for a happy generation. It makes for a shallow, self-absorbed and compulsive generation where the drive for instant gratification and numbing behaviors is penetrating; never before in history have we seen this complete rejection of values, hierarchy and "anything goes" mentality, yet no one really wants to take responsibility for their actions - thus they numb themselves with (self)destructive behaviors.

Our current generation is categorized by spending hours on end discussing, analyzing what is right and what is wrong - and everything is supposed to be tolerated in the name of freedom. Even breaking down other people's chosen belief systems and values. That, unfortunately, is not freedom - quite the contrary.

The rise in addictions in this generation can be clearly linked to this confusion of self, no clear parental direction and that "everything goes...." sex, drugs, alcohol etc. etc.... a complete moral breakdown. Yes, yes I know I sound old-fashioned, the issue, however, is that with it, we are seeing a growing tendency towards chronic need for meds to manage our mood  - now more than ever. People are depressed; and you become depressed when you are disconnected. And you become disconnected, when what you do, goes against your core nature.
This is not about living up to some type of Mother Teresa here, it's about doing what makes you truly happy in the skin you are in.

Only you know when you do things that you need to follow up with a numbing act because you feel disgusted by what you have just done. Maybe you are not even conscious about it. Maybe it's something you have learned yourself to do on autopilot to deal with "life". Always following your work day with hanging out at the bars or binging on tubs of ice cream, or the steady flow of escorts. These are all drowning behaviors that numb you from temporarily feeling pain.

Life, however, does not need to be "dealt with". Life is a state of flow; it happens when you are connected and stand up for yourself. You still make "bad" choices, but you view them as learning experiences that enable you to move forward instead of repeating them and needing to numb yourself with destructive behaviors because what you call "life" is just breaking you in.

That is not life. Life builds you up. Makes you strong. But only when you choose to live life with open eyes and take off your blindfolds. 

I don't know your truth. I can't tell you how to live your life, because no one, except you, knows that. You can trick yourself into thinking that everything is fine, everyone else is doing it. Make no mistake: everyone else is not happy. Giving in to peer pressure does not bring happiness - it's the easy way out in that moment, but it makes you spiral downward.... disconnecting from who you are, what you truly want to be.

"Everything is possible" is the positive trait of this generation's mindset, but with it comes a responsibility for those consequences that follow whatever path you choose. Every action has a consequence. The larger your goal, the greater the risk - you must prepare for the consequences. And as of now, we are a generation characterized by kids told the sky is the limit, unfortunately no one has taught us that there are consequences we must face whether now or later. And as with all things - there are fees when we "buy" on credit.

If you're not willing to pay for the candy at the cashier - then don't eat it; it doesn't belong to you. And taking things that don't belong to you tends to make you sick.... one way or the other.

Are you living life as a sheep?

Suffering only exists in the matrix, when you follow the herd instead of your calling.

If you are currently suffering in your life; you are stuck in the matrix.

Stop looking for some magic pill. Whether it is a health, or a “mind-game” issue; the temptation to look for a quick fix is, well, tempting.

As with anything, to truly solve it, you can only suppress the symptoms for so long, before everything crumbles. And that’s why I am always focused on curing the cause - whether I’m coaching a client in breaking free of an addiction or other self-destructive behavior, or understanding the root cause of their health imbalances as my work as a nutrition doctor. If it’s a health matter, it’s about understanding the language of your genes; rather than symptom management with Rx meds of which you can only afford to be on for so long before they will, in fact, kill you. And you can only understand the difference between symptom management and treating the cause, if you have a background in neuroscience and brain chemistry - because that is where the signals ultimately stem from. Yes, your brain controls your body. Simple, really. And yet, there is a profound lack of this focus in health care still. Very tragic, but there’s money in keeping “dis”-ease chronic, keeping you on meds and keeping you coming back for more.

And the exact same holds true for every other aspect of discomfort in your life.
When you are not emotionally at ease with yourself, you can attempt to drown and distract yourself in people/sex/drugs/food/money/work/shopping/botox etc. Only to find that you need more and more to suppress what is slowly building up inside you: a deep penetrating unhappiness that vibrates from your every cell. It is as if your body is screaming at you to stop participating in the insanity, but you just can’t decode the language because you have not been taught it.

Everything in society is centered around making you an “addict”. That’s where the money is baby. Unless you step out of the matrix, that is.

And when I say “addict”, I mean it in the broadest sense; it’s the accepted addiction of controlling other people’s every move; it’s your friend texting that hotshot a zillion times and asking why (s)he’s not responding yet. And yet the answer is obvious - because you are desperate. What are you exactly bringing to the plate, except draining other people’s energy and trying to call it love. It’s not love, honey: it’s demanding immature addiction to misery.

Or it’s the vanity addiction.
Posting 110 pics of yourself on Facebook from every imaginable and unimaginable angle all dolled up, posing for the cameras to get “liked’, because you don’t like yourself; it’s training for an eight-pack, when you already have a six-pack; it’s getting a D-cup, when you already have a C-cup; it’s getting another botox injection and you haven’t even hit 30 yet, but you are so scared of age showing up at your doorstep, because deep down inside you know that you are living the lie. And once time catches up with you, you’re done.
You are nothing but an empty shell that will crush under pressure.

Your shell is threatened by time only when it is hollow.

It doesn’t have to be that way.
Life is amazing the minute you let go of control, the moment you decide that you will no longer participate in the madness; you will not follow the herd and run off the cliff.

You will, in fact, step out of the matrix.

That’s why you work with someone who understands the language of your genes - or for that matter the language of life: because we were not handed a manual on how to live life, we tend to copy what others are doing in order to fit in; to not go against what is commonly accepted as the norm. We do this because we just want to be accepted. Please like me... please accept me... please forgive me.... please love me... pleasepleaseplease. Please give me what I can’t (or rather won’t) give myself.

Now I’m tempted to ask you, who exactly are these super loving and evolved beings, that are supposed to give you what you can't even give yourself, supposed to be? Where are they supposed to come from, if we are all living the lie and just waiting for a miracle to save us? Outer space? Because quite frankly darling, there’s a bigger chance of you being saved by an alien than by another human being.

People cannot save you from you. Life doesn’t work that way.

You must take the first step and change YOU. Everything else falls into place after that.

And yes, you are scared, I know. I know the feeling of fear all too well. Humans are scared by nature, that’s the only way to be brave. You become brave by overcoming fear. The strongest people are those who have suffered with the most penetrating fears and weaknesses. Yes, it’s true: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

How do you overcome the fear factor?
We are scared only because we have not yet accepted ourselves, thus we look for approval outside. Something that can never happen. And we get caught in the game of the matrix - constantly trying harder and harder to prove that we are, in fact, worthy. Worthy of love.

But who is going to love you, when you don’t even know what love is?
How will you be able to even recognize what love is, when you haven’t even mastered the first and most important relationship in your life, that which is with yourself?

Many of us end up in relationships because, well, then at least we live up to the expectation of what normal is. We have someone to share our... wait for it... misery with.

Isn't that just nice. Now we can complain about each other and everyone else under the sun to each other. On and on and on; it never ends - constantly affirming and confirming each other in our miserable lives and how tough it is and yadayadayada. Awesome.

This has nothing to do with love. 

You are abusing other people because you are not comfortable in your own skin. That’s not love, my friend: it’s desperation and people can sense it from miles away. And that is why you are repeating the same type of relationships again and again and again. That’s why you are going nowhere - because you are focused on suppressing the malignant disease within, instead of turning to yourself for once in your life and fixing YOU.

Stop the blame game.
I hear this constantly from friends and in my work, “oh, but why is he/she like that, why doesn’t he/she call me back, why does he/she treat me like that...” Whywhywhy. Stop it. Just stop it. It’s not them, it’s YOU. It is always YOU.
Grow up. Take responsibility. Stop the whining. You are spreading negativity all over the freakin’ place, and of course no one will want to be around someone like that. That’s why your relationships keep going down the drain. That’s why you keep getting the same results (or lack thereof). Yes, you can come across people who are messed up, and I’m not saying, it’s not a two-way street and only and always youyouyou. But really, if you keep hitting repeat, it’s you.

If you are not happy, you have been dealt the cards to solve it already. No one except you are responsible for your happiness - all the clingyness and neediness is just simply annoying lack of having developed you.

Love is freedom.
Love is not about trapping people; it’s about setting them free to be who they are meant to be. When you love something or someone you only want them to be happy. There is no sense of loss, no need to trap them. You only trap other human beings and inflict pain, when you are scared of being alone with yourself. And that is both vain, incredibly egoistic as well as being plain narcissistic.

If normal is what most people are doing, then no wonder your body is screaming to go against the norm - to turn around and run. Normal is depressed. Normal is morbidly obese. Normal is Tinseltown sickeningly skinny. Normal is ridiculous starvation diets. Normal is eating disorders. Normal is addictions. Normal is screaming at your spouse. Normal is paying an escort for what your wife can’t give you anymore. Normal is drowning your sorrows on the bottom of that whiskey bottle. Normal is...
I think you get where I am going.

Your core nature does not want to dive into what normal is because... it is insane; it disconnects you from who you are. From what you are truly able to be; what you were meant to be.

Disconnection is the key to all unhappiness.
And no, you cannot get connected by getting involved with other disconnected ends - it just makes for an intertwined electrical shortcut.

You get connected by stepping out of the matrix.
You get connected by going against the herd.
You get connected by waking up, feeling incredibly scared, almost being numbed out by the fear factor - and in that moment, you decide to either step up to the plate and crawl, walk, run - screamyellcry if you must - but goddammit, you will walk your way out of the matrix, whatever it takes; even when everybody is calling you crazy, saying to come back into the comfort zone. The comfort zone of collective misery - never forget that.

You walk out that door, slam it shut and never turn back.

Or, you dive back into the box, slowly self-destructing. And now even worse, because you have seen sanity, you know there is light outside the box.
You know that normal is, in fact, insane.
So it will take a whole lot more of addictive behaviors to numb you out this time around.

So what to do now?
First you make that choice  - that you will do whatever it takes to get out of the matrix.
You must make that choice, it’s not magically going to happen one day.

Step out of the matrix.
Stop following other people’s sick rules.
Rules in a game designed to kill.
You are meant for so much more.
Life. is NOW.

You can sign up for next available spot coming up in August for life coaching with The Nutrition Doctor here.

What owns, controls and limits you in life right now?

"Remember, we are the masters and money is the servant - it's never the other way around. What you fear the most in life, owns you, controls you, and limits you."

John Svalina, Author

So ask yourself, what owns, controls and limits you in your life right now?

And then decide to face your fear. 

But to do that without getting numbed out when the fear factor hits, you need a game plan in order to succeed. And that is exactly what working with a coach can give you: a clear-cut strategy on how to overcome the obstacles in life and move forward, one step at a time til you are, exactly where you want to be.

You just have to reach out and decide to do it. Just do it!

Contact me to sign up for next available coaching session available via Skype or in person in The Nutrition Doctor's LA office.

A strong body comes from a strong mind.
Know what you want: body, mind and soul, and we'll get you there!

A Model Conversation: Cindy Crawford on Getting Paid To Stay Skinny

The original supermodels (Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelista, Christy Turlington, Chanel Iman, Lauren Hutton and Naomi Campbell) discuss style, substance and getting paid to starve to fit into a size 6 (...mind you, size 6 is what we call fat nowadays, with size double 0 - 2 only hitting the catwalk).

This clip is from a time when models still had brains, beauty and at least somewhat booty. Coincidence? I think not. After all, your brain is primarily made out of fat.

Nobody's perfect. But 'it'.

Forget airbrushing - now there's H&M's computer created fake models.

This is just ridiculous. I'm really not even going to waste time writing about just how distasteful it is that H&M now creates body perfection via computer.

Yes - these models above are completely fake, created by what is supposedly the ideal by a computer.

No doubt this is great biz for the plastic-fantastic surgeons. 

Currently I am working out of Miami, a city obsessed with perfecting the shell, it is sad to see the amount of plastic that many succumb to in a desperate attempt to fill the hollow void within themselves, instead of working on gaining self-recpect and thereby a STRONG mind in a STRONG body! You will not emotionally overeat or fill your body with junk food if you have self-respect - it's NOT about fanaticism; rather it's about reaching a healthy balance body, mind and soul!

Self-respect leads to a hot body (and even more importantly: a wholesome soul)! 

However, starting the other way around: completely changing mother-nature out of lack of self-respect leads to a deep despair and disconnection from your soul. 

Yesterday, I was standing in line at some Starbucks here in South Beach... lost in thought... and then yet suddenly something caught my attention. The scent of blood. You can smell it when people are obsessed with only changing their shell because they are still hollow inside. You can smell it like an animal that's wounded. 

And that always makes me very.. very sad to see.

And that way of faking perfection via computer creation of mother-nature is a disgrace to say the least. And it adds to further disconnection from body, mind and soul.

We can have it all, if we just start with filling the void first and then the wrapping is a piece of cake... pun intended.

But this ad... well... Shame! Shame on you H&M!

Barbie is dead.

Cappuccino con nata

Inhaling my cappuccino con nata this morning (yes, whipped cream comes standard when asking for a cappuccino in La Gomera where my travels has currently led me to. And hey, who am I to argue with local cuisine couture) while rummaging through a German tabloid in lack of English, I stumbled upon Barbie's obituary.

Bye, bye Barbie

And that's about time.
Considering the amount of Botox needed to erase the trace of time and any sudden emotion on her face, her veins must be spilling over with nerve toxic waste, I reckon.

And god bless us all wouldn't it be nice to break the chains of the beauty, pharma and diet industry slavery and stop this idiocy of thinking that looking like Paris Hilton, Elin King, Victoria Beckham and so the list goes on, is normal. Normal? Sure - for a 16-year-old, not normal for a grown woman. King’s thighs can compete with my biceps for crying out loud.
Why these unnatural bodies are being perpetuated as the ideal is BECAUSE they are not naturally achievable! This is simply a way of manipulating your body perception and promoting poor body image; making you addicted to diet pills, treadmills, endless botox injections and self-esteem flat-as-a-carpet. Making you miserable in the skin you are in is worth big bucks - and trust me: The Don Draper gang 21st century is laughing their derrieres off all the way to the bank.


There is nothing less attractive than self-esteem flat-as-a-carpet. It is ugly.

My cappuccino AM daily dog

Ironically, the more plastic you fill in your body to make up for that lack of basic self-worth, the less connected you often fell with your true self and values. Well, afterall you are filled with artificial waste now quite literally.


Let's just say, I am not one to shed a tear at Barbie's funeral.
She has certainly played her part in perpetuating a plastic-fantastic image that has been part of grotesquely brainwashing an entire Hiltonesque generation.

Read. Eat. Breathe. A sigh of relief.

Deepak Chopra on What Makes YOU Attractive!

"If trying to be attractive is futile, what is the secret to drawing romance and love into our lives? The answer is remarkably simple, and is perfectly summarized in an aphorism from the Latin poet Ovid, who said, “To be loved, be lovable.” Lovable people are natural and at ease with themselves. They radiate an authenticity that makes anyone attractive. However, the simplest solution is sometimes the most difficult to achieve. People desperately seek love precisely because they don’t feel lovable. Sadly, many of us have never felt lovable, even as children when we had the fewest conditioned defenses against love and could experience it with the most spontaneous innocence.
If you don’t feel inherently lovable, remember that being lovable isn’t a superficial quality that only some people possess; it is a quality of spirit. Even if your experiences conditioned you to see yourself as worthless or ugly, remember that you are completely lovable because spirit is love. No matter how many negative messages you received as you were growing up, your pure spirit is shining with a love that nothing can tarnish. If being lovable really is the secret to attraction, there’s no need for anxious searching – for that which can never be lost doesn’t need to be found. You can end the whole futile process of trying to be attractive to others, desperately seeking approval, and constantly comparing yourself to an ideal image. The only requirement is a shift in perception. This happens not by changing who you are, but by seeing who you are and letting it radiate forth.

Accepting Ambiguity

When you are lovable, you are authentic, natural, and comfortable with your own ambiguity. Instead of rejecting or denying your weaknesses or “negative” qualities, you embrace the opposites within yourself. You realize that everyone contains light and shadow. Inside each one of us lies both the divine and the diabolical, the sinner and the saint, the sacred and the profane, forbidden lust and unconditional love, the beatitude of paradise and the dark night of the soul. The play of these opposites is what allows evolutionary growth to occur.
When you're comfortable with your own ambiguity, your inner dialogue won't lead you to act in ways that push love away. You won't be driven by your ego's fears of rejection, isolation, and abandonment – or its desires for control, approval, and security. Knowing that your essential nature is pure love, you will instead feel free to be lavish in your expression of love. You will enthusiastically respond to the gestures of love that come your way. These gestures can take many forms, a smile from a stranger or a child, a twinkle in the eyes of a friend, a warm hand shake, a gentle squeeze, a hug, or a compliment. As you begin to exhibit the full grandeur of your being, your whole life will be a romance and a long love story dedicated to bliss and joy."

- Deepak Chopra, MD

Ashley Simpson's nose job linked to body dysmorphic disorder

Body dysmorphic disorder:
Ashley Simpson has struggled with eating disorders
 in addition to having undergone plastic surgery.

According to a new study, one-third of people who get nose jobs also have symptoms of moderate to severe body dysmorphic disorder, a mental illness where a person is so dissatisfied with real or imagined flaws that it disrupts daily life. The disorder can lead to suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, depression, anxiety and -- as is evidenced by this study -- unnecessary cosmetic surgery.

The new research, reported in the August issue of the journal Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, also shows that body dysmorphic disorder is especially common among people who have had more than one nose job.

Vanity. It kills.

Reference: http://journals.lww.com/plasreconsurg/pages/default.aspx

Starting over with Don Draper

This clip from Mad Men illustrates the importance of forgiveness vs. holding on to the past and allowing it to turn into bitterness. Pete Campbell illustrating the ugliness of a person being eaten up by envy and bitterness and basking in others' missteps - desperately hoping to look better by exploiting others weaknesses.

But alas - karma is a tricky mistress, and actions driven by bitterness rarely work out in your favor. It is completely incompatible with integrity, and thus reflects badly upon the attacker rather than the victim, disregard of how dirty his past may be.

Remember: Every day is a clean slate to start over. To be that person you want to be.

Whether your last name is Draper or not; leave your baggage at the door, and you will find that new doors open.

Forgive. Accept. Move on.

You can't reach what is in front of you, if you don't let go of the past: Forgive and you will be able to forget the pain of your past. Forgiving does not make it OK, but it does enable YOU to move on, instead of allowing someone to hold you prisoner in bitterness; inhibiting you from finding happiness in life.

What would Don Draper do?

So, what's your coping mechanism in life?
This sketch is just priceless - it is pure brilliant in portraying how many of us go about our daily life in some way or another, whether we are conscious about it or not, and whatever our "drug" of choice is.

As anyone who has watched an episode of Mad Men knows, Don Draper is the epitome of a civilized addict. His narcissistic behavior and need for control is a direct result of an unstable biochemistry, if he is not engaging in his drugs of choice (cigarettes, alcohol or sex), he is being emotionally abusive.

His inability to handle emotions is why he is succumbing to self-destructive coping mechanisms that temporarily numb him out.

First step in treating someone like Don Draper is to rebalance his biochemistry so that he no longer deals with those ongoing struggles that cause him to be a ticking time-bomb. He is constantly experiencing peaks and dips in his dopaminergic and seratonergic neurotransmitter system based on what he is doing (or temporarily abstaining from doing). And those drastic brain chemical fluctuations would drive anyone up the wall. You can have all the knowledge in the world on how to deal with emotions etc., but if you are fighting against your biology, you stand to lose.


Treating an imbalanced biochemistry should always come first - that enables people to feel comfortable in the skin they're in effortlessly and without needing to spend countless hours at the shrink's going over semi-invented or not childhood traumas that just are not relevant to keep dwelling on when focus should be on letting go of the past and moving forward.

Balance your brain and everything else in life suddenly seems a lot less dramatic.
Addicts create drama because they are about to crawl out of their skin - that is how uncomfortable it feels to be them, and thus creating some outside triggering dramatic event gives them a temporary relief from focusing on their own inner discomfort.

Once inner balance is restored there is no need to create outer chaos.

Get your brain chemistry evaluated here.

Thirst. is. EvErYtHiNG.

Image is nothing.
That was the tagline for Sprite when I was a kid. That just stuck to my brain like glue. I loved that commercial. So simple, yet it is so powerful in the way it taps right into our basic human instincts - and it is everything I believe in, and aspire to be in life. Well, not that I aspire to be a can of soda exactly. It is the simplicity, the unpretentiousness, I find appealing in this "stripped-to-the-core-skip-the-emotional-pornography-BS" ad.

It just illustrates everything that matters: Humans are hedonistic beings, and when all is said and done, we are going to do what makes us FEEL GOOD.
There comes a point, when we have binged one time too many on the lies from a society that is driven by sick standards and ruthless motives that we feel sick to the core with all the shallow glossy ads telling us that happiness comes from a Botox injection, Agent Provocateur lingerie and a bright yellow Gallardo. Well, not that there is anything wrong with a Gallardo per se, I mean... if it is good enough for batman, who am I to complain. Afterall, we do need something for driving our surfboards down to the shore in, don't we... Bare essential really. Ok so I'm a sucker for fast cars. Anyway.
Back to the point. I am always amazed by the amount of insecurity and pretentiousness that contaminates the bare presence of people who supposedly have "made it". And God only knows they grow like weed in the city that never sleeps. Where everyone hungers for their 5 minutes of fame. And they will inject their lips with the fat taken out of their ass in their narcissistic vanity to win the fame game.

I just hope they understand, that somehow the clothes do not make the man.
And that for every Armani suit and fake bleached smile, and Manolo stiletto there are 40,000 children starving.
So, ask yourself - what drives you in life?
No, really ask yourself: What DRIVES you in life?
Do you know it, or are you being driven by others' motives and agenda perhaps.

Don't hate the player - hate the game, and refrain (from being part). 

Unconditional Love. What is?

"Why don't you just love yourself some more?" I remember a friend telling me some years ago when I was busy "finding myself", or so I thought.
As you live life, you figure out that life is not about finding yourself, rather it is about creating yourself. You already have what you need right there, wherever you are, within you.
I was dumbfounded - love yourself some more? Why? How is that possible?
Well, this fundamental ability to love yourself unconditionally - wherever you are in life, whatever obstacles you are dealing with, is the most important human skill in life.
Every other skill and ability - however well we may master it, becomes secondary if we can't love ourselves unconditionally. Because guess what - if you can't love yourself without needing to live up to a set of criteria - how can you love anyone else? Love is supposed to be unconditional - what is the point in saying, "Well, darling you know, I'll love you if x, y and z. And don't forget the dishes while you're at it!". That is not love. That is a businesses proposal. Love is a feeling, it is not based on rational nor logic. And it shouldn't be. Emotions are valuable in themselves.

If you don't love yourself, you can't love anyone else. You may find yourself in various relationships based on vanity and fear. Fear of being alone and thus needing others approval out of vanity. Vanity and fear make for an ugly cocktail. You can't receive and accept love if you have cut yourself off from accepting yourself. And if you don't love anyone else, what value are you adding to the world then?

Yes, it may seem harsh - but love is the only thing that matters in life.

Eat. Breathe and.. Love. Always love.

And if you find it so hard to do, then get a pet. Yes, I said a pet, because entering a relationship before you love yourself is a disaster. However much another human may love you, if you don't love yourself, you will find a way to destroy that relationship. And when you say, "it is not you, it is me" - which you will undoubtedly say at some point down the road, that will be the exact truth and not an excuse. Simply because you cannot return the love that that person is showing you, as long as you don't know how to love yourself unconditionally. We can only connect to feelings that we ourselves have experienced. Mind you, that doesn't mean that we must have endured the same experiences - no, it is the feelings we must have experienced in order to connect and show empathy.

Getting an animal, and learning how to take care of it, is like taking a baby-step before learning to walk. Watch how that cat or dog loves you unconditionally. Unconditionally is not the same as accepting abuse, however. Putting up with abuse is incompatible with loving yourself, which must come before loving another human being. A cat will leave you, if you don't treat it with the respect that every living creature deserves. That's one thing I love about cats: You set it free to run in the morning when you wake up, and then when you call its name in the evening when you come home - and it comes back to you; then you know, it loves you. Because as the saying goes: when you set something free, and it comes back to you, it is yours.

It is yours because it chooses to be yours.

And I think that is the most amazing thing: That a wild creature, born to run free, chooses to give itself to you completely. Trusts you to take care of it.
You can only truly do that, if you take care of yourself.

Victoria Beckham eats like a horse.

Must be all that grass. Goes straight to your ass.
Or not.

Yes I'll believe it, if that entails grass and more grass, that is.

Now the pressure of looking skinny and yet not coming across as "a-neurotic-nutcase" is so intensified that a new term has been invented for celebrities eating junk food in public in order to portray a relaxed image (while lunching in their "its-laidback-Sunday" Manolos and "casual" Valentino waist-nippig sundresses): Documented Instance of Public Eating (DIPE by Hollywood publicists).
How endearing indeed.

Get the full yadayada here.

Like me, please like me.

She's so nice. Yes, everyone can agree on that. She never says anything bad (to your face at least...). So why is it that these very nice, seemingly harmless people are the ones who end up stabbing you in the back?

Because they are superficial nice. And their niceness is based on pretension - suffering from chronic nice-girl syndrome is rooted in egocentrism and vanity. Their need to be liked by everyone is driven by insecurity: Not knowing who they are - who they really are, when they are all alone. And that is why these people are social butterflies - they need to drown themselves in others approval because without it, they are left with nothing. So they go about their life and do the things they are expected to do. They never question their ways or motives, because they are so disconnected from themselves and their values are based on others. 

So what frightens these traditionalists? Anyone or anything that strays from the norm, from the game they are participating in. Because surely, everyone must play according to the rules. Rules they never dare question or rebel from as sick or outdated as these rules may be - they will follow them blindly, because without them they fear, they are nothing (world war 2 ring a bell?). Alone they are worthless - weak copy-cat beings adding no value, and deep inside they know it. Thus, it makes them angry when they see anyone going out of the norm, regardless of the obvious fact that they too have the freedom to choose the way they want to live their life. Instead they choose to project their own unhappiness and despair; the easy way out instead of taking ownership.

These people eventually end up in dead-end relationships, bitter and resentful. And to think that all along they had the power within them to choose to LIVE and not simply be alive.

It is a choice that every human must face. The longer you postpone it, the more you will end up regretting it. A great man once said : “Suffering is proportional to our resistance to change, and happiness is proportional to our ability to embrace change”. This man was Thom Knoles, one of the world’s leading exponents of Vedic Knowledge. In such a simple line, he has covered the basis for nearly all of the suffering on the entire planet. What I am about to say may be quite confronting for some. Suffering or happiness is something you can choose to experience.

Owning up to your own life and how it unravels is empowering and enables you to make a different choice that takes you down the path towards a life that is rich and rewarding and fulfills your inner desires.

Now go for it! You only regret what you didn't do in life.

The Essence of LifeStylism: Narcissistic Autonomy.

Lifestylism. 

Now what is this term, veering on the edge of pretentiousness, really a cover for?

The word lifestylism seems to have found its roots in anarchist literature. The Nutrition Doctor uses it as a medical doctrine related to healthy living from a holistic perspective incorporating body, mind & soul. It is not about promoting a narcissistic isolated focus only on you; it is impossible to live a fulfilling, sustainable life without engaging the people around us. 

While the debate about 'lifestylism vs. social activism' has been raging all around us, many people have missed the simple fact that there is no 'unbridgable chasm' between the two ideas. In fact, they are meaningless without one another. Engaging in social activism without changing your lifestyle to fit with your revolutionary principals makes one a hypocrite. Similarly, to try to live in a revolutionary way, while not engaging in social activism leaves one only further alienated.

The Nutrition Doctor is your LifeStylist.

Your lifestyle should be a manifestation of your values. If you care about animal rights then your lifestyle should reflect this by you fighting for animals. If you care about your children's health, then you should set an example and take care of your own body. Actions speak louder than words is the key to understand the term lifestylism, and why this overlooked behavioral approach to coaching is the only way to successfully reach your goals in life. Forget the one way monologue couch sessions at your shrink's - you need to evaluate, assess and come up with an action plan with a partner in order to style your life the way you want it.
Say NO to more endless venting sessions ending in loads of talk, but absolutely no action and impact.
Say YES to your personal LifeStylist. Download Meet Your LifeStylist here!

Knowing your weaknesses

What is the trait that you most deplore in others?

Think about it - because typically what we despise in others is our own dark side.

I.e. I couldn't care less about jealousy; likely because I don't have a jealous bone in my body (inasmuch as this is humanly possible anyway). However, I absolutely deplore pretension. The very scent of pretension just makes my hair stand up on my neck. Pretension comes in many forms. Pretending to be perfect. Pretending to be infallible. Pretending to be strong.

I used to be terrified of being weak; thinking that if people ever found out I had any sign of weakness/vulnerability within me, they would walk all over me and I would fall apart in a million pieces, never to be whole again. Well, newsflash: People will walk over you regardless, but only if you allow them to. And no, you will not fall apart. It may hurt, but time heals all wounds, and eventually you figure out, when people hurt you it is only because they are hurting; it has little to do with you.

Ironically, coming off as if you can't break, makes people want to see what your breaking point is even more. I guess it is part of human nature to be somewhat sadistic and to keep pushing the limits. If you don't set boundaries in life, then people can't respect them and won't know before they have already crossed the line. Pretending to be infallible is a recipe for a disaster, as you will none stop get attacked to prove you wrong.

Keeping it real: Connecting with your feelings...

The most obvious example being when we are kids: Those who bawl over everything and nothing get the most  attention. And those who bite the pain and never shed a tear get none. As much as I dislike drama and hypochondriacs, fact is that it is rarely those loudmouths that end up suicidal. It is always those quiet ones who cry in silence, never show their pain and thus never receive the love and care that every living creature needs in order to survive in this world. If you don't show your vulnerability, no one will know that you need nurture. You can't expect people to read your mind. And so you die - your pride ends up killing you. First emotionally dead and later... physically, however you decide to go about it before your time is up.You can change this unhealthy pattern. Risking vulnerability helps you remain sane - and yet, what prevents you from risking vulnerability is that you THINK you risk sanity. You need to remain sane enough to think rationally, and not rape everyone with your ever-changing feelings like another drama queen; yet it is key for your survival that you stay in tune with your feelings and show your needs. Otherwise no one can give you what you need in life. And bottom line is that makes everyone unhappy.

All humans have weakness - because without weakness their would be no strength, so pretending that you have none, is pretending that you are something you are not: Flawless.

The people who are often the most inspiring are those who dare be emotionally naked and show the scars that most of us hide behind our designer clothes.

If you risk nothing, then what is there really to admire? You are a scaredy cat: Hiding behind a shell, playing it safe. You are painting a pretty picture, but it is not real. It is an illusion that no one can connect with. You are guilty of adding more disconnectedness and loneliness into the world.

You think you are such a pro, because you are so careful in covering up your true self, that no one knows your fakeness? Everyone knows; except those dimwits who are also part of the same fame game. You can always sense pretentiousness from a far... it is not what you say; somehow people who disconnect from themselves have something about them that is so repelling in spite of the image they master to portray like an illusionist. But as anyone knows: Tricks are for kids. And it is so obvious for anyone not completely brainwashed by MTV that those who spend fortunes on designer clothes, hair salons, nails and what have you - always looking immaculate: Making sure that there is no outer sign of imperfection; they are seriously messed up on the inside. Otherwise they would not need to be so obsessed about perfecting their shell. This also explains why just about every celeb/model is either on drugs or suffering from borderline personality disorder. And more often than not: Both - and then some. That sort of narcissism brings sickness in its waters. Not a pretty sight.

You can't change what you don't know: Knowing your weaknesses enables you to prevent you from reaching your breaking point in all areas of life.

I often use a SWOT analysis to help design the life that my clients long for. This tool often used in business is valuable as it helps to identify strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats when organizing and mapping out how to achieve the goals you want in life.

You can download this tool here and email it back to us when making your appointment.

Attention Whore. Are You?

I have this friend who smiles. Like, a lot.

Marilyn knew the power of emotional pornography: 
Make people THINK you like them.
Unfortunately, faking your feelings and manipulating others 
do not lead to happiness;
she ended up the mistress and ending her miseries in an overdose. 
With a smile, I am sure.

I have often wondered why it is that she smiles at every joe that passes her way? It is certainly not based on her finding them attractive, more often than not she admits to finding them repulsive.
What drives these fake smiles, is that she so desperately wants to be liked. It has nothing to do with whether she likes someone or not. She just wants them to like her. And they do; or rather they like the fact that someone likes them (...). Both driven by vanity and insecurity they suffocate each other in smiles, niceties and hollow flattery only because they crave the attention, the affirmation that they are worthy of the attention. The only reason they compliment is to hear it back, the only reason why they smile, is to be smiled back at, the only reason they stay is to receive flattery. Words so empty and without meaning.
Their being nice is actually an act based on selfishness. NOT that there is anything wrong with being nice. You might as well add some hope to a world drowning in pain, and in many cases something like just being there, being present means everything. But motive is everything. You cannot hide your vain ego behind a shallow smile and old lines.
And there is nothing more distasteful than to witness someone lying through their teeth out of vanity.

And that is why I so firmly believe that the first step to getting the body of your dreams and gaining attractiveness, is to FEEL great in your own skin. Because a great body will follow.
And everyone deserves to feel comfortable in this skin.

Monopolizing misery.

Meet client A: She is  21, comes from a wholesome family, tall and slender, has a loving and handsome boyfriend and her dad’s credit card in her pocket. And yet she cries herself to sleep every night, covers the mirrors in self-hatred and does coke on the weekends. She has no deep traumas. Spoiled brat, is she?

Meet client B: She is 23, sexually abused by her dad since her mother died when she was in her early teens. Everyone can understand that she cuts herself to distract herself from the emotional pain, prefers vodka over water and can’t hold a job (...).

Question: Who has the right to pain of the two? 

Answer: Both. Pain is in perception. Life hurts. Everyone cries. And they both hurt equally much. It is not what you go through in life, but how you deal with it.

Everyone has the right to pain, ironically people somehow tend to compete in that area, addicted to misery and yearning for pity: Demanding the right to misery, insisting that certainly their situation is unique; their life is so much tougher than anyone else’s (...)

If there is one thing I have learnt in life, it is that everybody hurts sometimes. No one hurts more than others. And yet it seems that there is this competition going on “who has it tougher”. I don’t get it: Aren’t we supposed to change what we don’t like in life, instead of continue being in a situation that cause us to complain day in and day out.

Isn’t insanity defined by the very act of doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting a different outcome...?

If so, insanity is the new normalcy. 

And that is just plain sad. It is certainly nothing to brag about.

Animals know pain, but no self-pity.

If you don’t like the cards you have been dealt, then play a different game.

Why continue to play a game that you hate? That makes no sense.

Only humans tend to be addicted to misery and demand pity. It is an incredibly selfish act, this trying to manipulate others via emotional pornography. Everyone deserves empathy and love, but using emotions to manipulate is pure selfishness.

I have never seen an animal feel sorry for itself. They take the hits, and then they move on. Kittens tumble and fall, and their mothers watch from a distance, ensuring that they can handle the hit, but don’t intervene unless a matter of life and death. They learn from an early age that “hey, life hurts, and it’s going to kick you til you lie down, so you might as well learn to protect yourself, lick your wounds, and then get back up”. Even when animals die, do they demand pity and cry? No, they carry themselves with pride, and bundle up to die. That is life. Death is a natural part of life. And if one has faith in God, then death is not the end.

Pain is universal, it’s not a competition about who hurts the most - because everyone hurts. It is about finding a solution and healing the scars: Everyone deserves to be loved. And oftentimes those who cry in silence need it more than those who open the watergates in public in a vain attempt to gain pity and attention.


If you need help to redesign your life, contact your Life Stylist - we can help you out of misery. We understand the biochemical and emotional complexities when changing your life, whether you a struggling with an addiction due to an imbalanced brain chemistry or stuck in self-destructive black/white addictive thinking causing fear and anxiety to take up your focus.

Your face is just fine, but you'll have to put a bag over that personality.

Los Angeles is infamous for its not-yet-out-of high-school boob jobs and model/actress/waitress Barbie dolls.

New York is known for its fair share of Botox filled ladies-who-lunch-and-only-god-knows-what-else gold-diggers.

These godforsaken cities filled with man-made creations, gravity defying skyscrapers and the obsession with anti-aging, have such a draw to them that whatever goes on in the rest of the world, and however messed up their respective economies may be, they remain the capitals of the world. A weird love-hate relationship has always existed when it comes to New York and Los Angeles.

Either you love what they stand for or you absolutely hate it. There is no middle-ground. Everything is taken to extremes. That goes for the quest of ultimate bodily perfection as well.

So much time, money and energy is spent on perfecting what was perfect to start out with from the hands of our creator - quite frankly it is insulting. On so many levels.

Extreme measures, such as risking the dangers of liposuction with a body-fat% already below the thirties and Botox injected in girls in their twenties driven by vanity, insecurity and oftentimes a generous amount of self-hatred,  is not based on respecting your body; it is abusing your mind and soul and disconnecting from true meaning - losing yourself along the way.

And that always makes me want to say, “You know, your face is fine, but you’ll have to put a bag over that personality… because that is just one uglyass personality.”