I'll Stand By You.

Look into their eyes... there is no filter, no pretension....
you can almost feel their fragile dreams and hopes for a better day to come.
I'll be back for these small guys. I will be back.

Currently traveling in The Sahara and the bordering villages to Algeria, I have been driving through the poor south of Morocco.
In my shallowness and deeply naivety, I often find that I need to put myself in the midst of the misery to understand the pain others go through in order to become angry enough to get up and do something about it. I am a bit ashamed to admit that someone telling me the sad facts is not enough for me to leave my own materialistic concerns and really change my priorities. If I don't see the pain in their eyes and feel those shattered dreams, I tend to shove it under the carpet with the rest of the nasty stuff going on in this world, worrying more about the size of my derriere and which new stilettos to buy matching my silk scarf. And yes, this vain part of me does make my toes cringe, but that's how it is.

So every now and then I make sure to give myself a wake-up call to remember that my sorry derriere is not the center of attention. And driving through one of these small villages, the kids already trying drugs from 6 years of age and many not having their parents anymore, I just wanted to grab them with me like the kittens abandoned in the trash cans. These are kids that don't cry over spilled milk, they just lick their wounds and get up and move on. Struggling for their fair share in life. They don't feel sorry for themselves. All they need is someone to give them a chance in life. A small push out of those dusty back alleys.

All they really want is someone to say that they'll stand by them. That they'll be there for them when no one else believes in them.

Someone like you, who says those words that matter the most of all...

I'll Stand By You.

These are the words that I believe every human really wants to hear from someone in their lifetime. Stand by me when everything crumbles and falls. Stand by me when no one else believes in me, not even I. Stand by me through my worst hour. Stand by me in spite of me. Stand by me when you're the only one who will.
Saying "I'll stand by you" is the purest expression of self-sacrifice: disregarding whatever you may get out of a situation - saying goodbye to your own ego and insecurities of rejection because you ask nothing in return. You'll simply be there for another person and be there and stand by - whatever it takes, you'll be there.
You may think the words most want to hear is "I love you". But in reality no. Not another hollow sounding "I love you".
I think many of us have heard that line one too many times to take note. I love you is inflated as there are so many selfish and contaminated reasons as to why someone may use this line.

I love you (if you keep that body).
I love you (if you give me your black Amex).
I love you (if you go to bed with me).
I love you (if you make me feel lovable).
I love you (if you do my dirty laundry).
I love you (if you make me feel good about myself).
I love you (because I need someone to need me).
I love you (because I am scared to be alone).
I love you (because you are beautiful).
I love you (until you don't obey my rules).
I love you (until I discover your weaknesses).

And surely, I cannot be the only one guilty as charged of absentmindedly mumuring "yes darling, love you too" while mindlessly reading the morning newspaper. It's like we feel that if we just say this, then everything will be fine. Even when we deep inside know it's way too late, and we should have ended things, then saying "I love you" seems like a safe way to camouflage our real state of mind; it requires no action - it's just like pushing stand-by. On the contrary, "I'll stand by you" is something that requires a different level of commitment and thus requires our immediate attention to utter those words. Because they are so genuine and strong... and once they are said, it demands action. We need to be there and stand up for someone in spite of our own needs and get out of our comfort zone.

Seeing those small guys struggle for the stuff I bought them, and being so grateful for so little... I decided I'm going to start up a Kidz'NKittenz™ orphanage in Morocco in 2012.
I know - it's just a small step. Not even a drop in the ocean. But at least I'm going in the right direction.

And do feel free to join me - I'll be working on the details of this project over the next months and whether funding parts of it or just giving your time, you would mean the world to someone. Someone just like you could mean the world to someone looking up at the stars right now in this very moment... hoping, dreaming and wanting more in life.
Do you remember those skyscraper dreams when you were a kid? Do you remember those hopes and the feeling of immortality - that the sky is the limit. Every kid out there deserves to have them and someone who'll give them the opportunity at least to get there if they want it bad enough. If no one lends them a hand they may fall to the floor and shatter before they experienced living any life at all.

Anyway, these small guys got their bikes fixed and footballs (hopefully spending their time training and playing instead of drugs) until I come back looking for them again.

Because if everyone would only say that "I'll stand by you" once in their life to one person, then we would accomplish so much more and be that step closer to happiness.

Anyway - network is scattered here in the Sahara (and hey, AT&T covers Sahara - better believe it!) and I'm off to catch the sunset on camel back far away from any fears of tomorrow. And for that I am grateful.

2012 - let that be the year where you stand by someone. Someone who needs it when everything crumbles and falls.

I'll stand by you.

Who will you stand by?

CHANGING THE WAY WE EAT: TED MANHATTAN 2/12/11

 Last weekend I spent my free-time - rather than being outside and sucking up some much needed sun-rays in anticipation of spring - inside a dark, old building in midtown Manhattan with approx. 200 other people attending the TEDx event "Changing The Way We Eat", bringing together some of the brightest minds and first-movers in various health related disciplines.

The topic was sustainability and how what we choose to put on our plate has a direct impact on environment, human and animal rights, politics - not to mention our waistline.
Things that go beyond skin depth and vanity issues. Yes, cellulite sucks, but get over yourself already, there are more important things going on than what is happening to your thighs. Yet, most of us choose to live in denial of how we can make an impact by making a conscious choice every day with regard to what is on our plate.

Consider this...

When choosing meat from factory-farm raised animals you are supporting animal cruelty, ingesting endocrine disruptors and carcinogens. Yummy. We all know that we are what we eat, and the same goes for animals - toxins are accumulated in their tissue and you are forking it down and accumulating all that garbage they have been fed up with by the mouthful! These animals are so poorly treated and their nutrient profile so lacking in key nutrients that it is basically like eating a plate of neurotoxins. That, and it's fattening - because ENDOCRINE DISRUPTORS wreck havoc on your appetite-control system and fat-burning hormones! Messing up your brain and biochemistry is what really is adding inches to our waistline, and as long as we keep sticking to counting calories in vain in the aim for a super model waistline, we are completely missing the boat. Look at all that fat-free, low-cal diet food on the supermarket aisles... if this was really the solution to your chubby hubby, then we wouldn't be growing fatter faster than you can say Haagen Dazs. Eating factory-farm raised meat that is loaded with antibiotics and toxins is making you fatter, sicker.. and probably also "stupider".

So in your quest to save dollars on food by choosing factory-farm raised meat instead of the seemingly in the moment pricier humanly raised meat products, you actually end up having to spend MORE money on those diseases you will end up with - later!

Now wait a minute! Did you really get this? 

SUFFERING. Is this what YOU are supporting? 

YOU SAVE MONEY in the end by spending a few dollars more and choosing humanly raised meat products! Think about it like an insurance - you pay a small premium to avoid going bankrupt when disaster hits. Except this is different - because unlike regular insurance, you WILL be spending an obscene amount of money on your health, if continuing to ingest those pesticide and antiobiotic-filled factory farm meats! This is not a question of if, but WHEN your immune system breaks down!

Not to mention that you have to live with this on your conscience, because this is what you have chosen to support when you buy factory-farm raised meat from animals that are:

• Kept in small cages or jam-packed sheds or on filthy feedlots, often with so little space that they can't even turn around or lie down comfortably
• Deprived of exercise so that all their bodies' energy goes toward producing flesh, eggs, or milk for human consumption
• Fed drugs to fatten them faster and keep them alive in conditions that could otherwise kill them
• Genetically altered to grow faster or to produce much more milk or eggs than they naturally would (many animals become crippled under their own weight and die just inches away from water and food)

You, as a consumer, have the power to change - not only your own brain, body and life - but SOCIETY!

You are not a victim of society. Society is screwed, yes. Our values are sick and most people have a severely distorted body image and value set. But stop blaming society, because YOU are part of society - meaning, you have the power to take control of your health and your choices reflect your value set.

Stop talking about change - it's a waste of time and energy. Talk is cheap and it leads to nowhere. You need to step up to the plate and take ACTION! Yes, it's only one small step, yes, you are not going to change your own life or society over night.. but taking that first step leads to the next... and every great journey starts with one small step... you have the power to change. You have the power to influence other people with your behaviors.

So stop for a second and think about this: How are you contributing to society? 
Are you tearing it down and indulging in the all too easy cheap way out of talking and complaining about everything that is seemingly beyond your control and thus spreading negativity in a world that is already overflowing with pessimism and a mindset of victimization and helplessness?

Feelings. You are not the only one who has them!

And yet, you look at your offspring and have the audacity to complain that they are not leading healthy lives but already at an early age seem to be turning into small fast-food addicts with ADD like behaviors and little empathy for their peers and animals.

Well, look in the mirror - you molded them... they are simply copying your behaviors! Start by changing your own ways, and you will see that the power of change penetrates every aspect of your life and influences your surroundings far beyond what comes out of your mouth.

Actions speak louder than words 
After all, when everything is said and done, we are only mammals... driven by senses and basic instincts; regardless of whether we try to disguise this fact by hiding behind oversize Chanel shades and Calvin Klein power-suits. Trust is based on instincts and actions - not empty words and half-hearted promises.

So, what's on your plate tonight? 
Are you supporting animal torture and inhuman work conditions?
The choice is yours - and not making a choice is also a choice.

You have the power! 


Start by taking back control of your health!