Nutritional Healing + Brain Chemistry Balancing For Eating Disorders

I'll be speaking on Brain Chemistry Balancing through Target Nutrition Therapy® at the International Conference on Nutrition & Food Sciences, Valencia, Spain 23-24th of Sept 2014. Complete Speaker program will be up here.

 

God, please make life easier for me.

No.

How many times have we not wanted life a little easier, a little bit more like a fairy tale, a little less painful, a little more tylenol.

How many times have we not in our hearts late at night prayed that one day, someday, some way, when we wake and open our eyes with the first ray of morning light streaming through the cracks in the window, that all our fears, our sorrows -would all be gone. Gone with the darkness of the night.

What do we think would happen if our prayers were answered accordingly?
How fragile would we not be, never able to tackle the lightest branches brushing against us, falling to our knees with the first autumn breeze. How weak in this skin would we not be, if we never had to face our fears, if we never had to grow through pressure. Like a muscle dissolves with no resistance, so do we.

Many of us have not learnt how to handle pain - especially emotional pain. We are so emotionally disconnected, that we are like an electrical wire vibrating with every stimulation, not able to relief the sensation. And all this ongoing stimulation that we accumulate leads to an electrical short-circuit. When our brain fails to recharge and our emotions feel like needles on the skin, this makes us vulnerable to addictions and other numbefying behaviors, because we have not learnt to handle pain. We simply have no pain tolerance. Not being able to handle pain, kills us. Pain will leave us if we let it. And next time it comes looking for us, we  have thicker skin to deal with the cuts.

Never pray for less pressure, pray to become better, stronger and wiser. Pray to know what to pray for.
Pray for love. In the end nothing else ever mattered.

Breaking patterns, habits and ceilings.

I love this. Breaking habits. Breaking patterns. Breaking blocks. Breaking points. Breaking addictions. Breaking chains. Breaking confinements. Breaking the ceiling. To become what we already are. By breaking through the walls of glass we have created ourselves. So we can walk right over the shattered glass beneath our feet, no longer confining, defining us. No longer able to scar us. It is beneath us.

3 Things That Matter More Than What's On Your Plate.

Christina Santini offers nutrition target therapy + coaching + meditation/yoga .

Your body's biochemical functioning + brain chemical rebalancing takes place ONLY during those deep layers of sleep. If you are not sleeping at 10PM which is where we know from Ayurvedic Medicine that our body's main healing takes place, your body is simply not capable of healing from whatever stressors it has encountered during the day - that means that you can be an overly fanatic health-nut, cutting out this and that and carrying around Spirulina bags and whatnot, and yet you will suffer from a body that is slowly but surely breaking down.

Hormones such as testosterone and insulin are STRONGLY sensitive to sleep and the way you deal with stress.

In other words, if you can't seem to be losing that stubborn fat (particularly abdominal fat is due to an imbalance in testosterone/estrogen), and your energy levels are going down the drain - and especially for any sexual dysfunction - you may want to reconsider your sleep and meditation habits.

And if the word habit is not part of these practices, well, then you don't need to look at what's on your plate to improve your health in these areas - because it's a waste of time before your sleep and stress management tools are in place. Before that happens, your blood labs will be reflecting hormonal imbalances that are all over the map, including borderline diabetic tendencies. And this is true, EVEN if you eat a strict low-carb Paleo diet or whatnot. Doesn't matter - sort out your sleep and take some herbs that will help you calm down your mind. Everything else will fall into place after that.

Managing your nutrition before your sleep habits is like painting a house before the fundament is laid out.

Reference: J Pediatr. 2007 Apr;150(4):364-9. Association between inadequate sleep and insulin resistance in obese children. Flint J et al.

By Grace I Am Saved.

If you haven't been sleeping under a rock lately, you will no doubt have noted how it's become ever so trendy to conform to LOVE and spiritual awakening and embrace that we are all god and that if you just put up some goals on a transformation board then the universe will hand it over to you. Just like any spoiled brat, we sit there and feel like we deserve this and that and here and now, and more and more.

And throw in some vegan cupcakes on top of that and you have LA.

I want to share my thoughts on this, because I believe that what we embrace as awakening as a form of love for all and tolerance for everything and everyone can pave the way for more darkness  - like a wolf wrapped in sheep's clothing.

Love is not tolerance for all. Love is not acceptance of everything.
Love is confrontation when something is not right. And we as humans have a very narrow mind and do not see clearly what is good and what is bad. If the truth is subjective, then we can spend into eternity discussing every case - because some of us will always be able to argue for why a certain behavior actually stems from love.

Love is not tolerance - ignorance is tolerance of everything, and when we tolerate everything, we stand for nothing. Love stands for something, love can be unconditional, yet it is still confrontational. Love is not acceptance of everything - and deep down we know, because that feeling of guilt we get, where do you think that comes from? Guilt simply does not make sense without a wrong and a right. Guilt does not make sense without a God.

The fact is, if you talk long enough with anyone who is embracing many of these spiritual concepts that are going rampant, you'll notice a deep profound longing to be whole again. And that their behaviors do not match that of a loving being - rather that of a deeply narcissistic being, trying to find fulfilment within themselves - in vain. It's not news that many yogis and gurus go absolutely bonkers, and go off on sexual escapades, as they cannot control the energy that is released within them during their practice, and they are still very much a slave to hedonism.

The paradox being that these are the exact same teachers, that we take advice from on how to become more mindful. People who proclaim that god is within us, and we are all we need.

This is absolutely crap. No one has ever found healing in their own solitude. Rather they go out of their mind with insanity, drugs (and yes, mushrooms count too), fanatical religious eating behaviors etc. All while proclaiming that love is everywhere, and god is in the stones and you and me, but please - let's not refer to the bible or pray, because that might offend someone, so let's just without names, thank whatever it is we believe in - let's pray to the rocks who cannot feel, the rain who cannot answer - but let's keep god out of this.

If I were God, I'd get pretty offended. As in: what, here we are thanking the sun and the trees and the bees and thanking you and thanking me - for what, I really don't know. It's not like we created anything - most of us have messed up so much, that we need grace and we need to let go of our attachment to our obsession with what we are so that we can follow our calling in life.

We are not god -  we are anything but. Fact is, we are only saved by grace.

And we are alone until we find God - that's why the God void within us was created in the first place. Certainly not so that we can dance around high on mushrooms and pretend that we are God and perfect beings. Actions speak louder than words - and if we were perfect beings, we would have a clean record. I don't know about you, but I have a lot of grace to accept in my life - and I could not stand on my own, that I know.

The feeling of being alone, even when we are in a committed relationship, have kids etc. only exist when we have not accepted God into our lives.

Because we are all alone without God - and through his Grace we are, indeed, saved.
And thank God for that.

I am certainly not thanking Tony Robbins, Buddha or Bank of America for that, just saying. Even though I am sure they are caring organizations, they don't know me nor you. And they can't do anything after darkness falls.

Want To Break That Addiction?

You don't HAVE to change.

I'm really stubborn if I feel like someone is trying to control me.

Christina Santini coaches health a-z incl. addictions
+ eating disorders in office in Los Angeles + Skype.

Like, I can't even control myself for crying out loud. So I've had to figure out a way to trick myself into doing what is essentially best for me without me getting all rebellious and whatnot. If I set some boundaries I can be sure that it is only a matter of time before every cell in me will itch to go beyond that line. Because I don't like rules. They feel so confining. Mind you, that is even those rules that I have chosen to set for myself because I know I should stick to them. I do like values - and I think integrity and living according to your core values is crucial.

This stubborn 5-year old mentality has led me to tap into how I can use intrinsic motivation to change. The only way I can change and motivate myself to implement better behaviors is to tap into WHY would I want to do this -- because I don't absolutely have to. I don't have to do anything absolutely, in fact. 

Yes, there are consequences if I don't - but then I am doing this because I WANT to, so I can avoid dealing with the consequences. That's valid. 

Do you get this? Because if we simply tell ourselves "well, you gotta stop eating burgers and fries, cos you're fat" - which is in fact, what most of us tell ourselves along with other nasty adjectives daily that we don't even notice because they're on autoplay, brainwashed by magazines, tv and peer pressure - we will get very resentful, focus on the negative and what we CAN'T do - and where focus goes energy flows. So sooner or later we will do what we are focusing on not to do.

Here's the thing, though, none of us like to be told what to do. We like to do stuff because it feels good from within our soul. We like to do stuff that nurtures our core values and resonates with who we are.

That is, when we know who we are.

And that's where the struggle lies for a lot of us: We have no clue who we are, we just know that we feel disconnected, and we have a void that we want to fill. With something and anything - so we try diets to fit into skinny jeans. 

When that gets boring, and we really... like... REALLY... want that double stuffed chocolate cake with a layer of whipped cream, then we decide we binge for a while. 

When that gets boring and our jeans don't fit anymore, we go to the bars and pick up guys, girls or both or many or whatever rocks our boat. 

When that gets old, we chase money. That can sometimes last a lifetime - always chasing something that we can complain about is the root to all our sorrows in life. When in fact we are just using it to project our inner dysfunction onto something external, and remove the weight of responsibility from our own shoulders. Nice, but not so nice - because when we don't carry the weight of responsibility, we can't change, we are stuck in status quo complaining aimlessly over everything and everyone but us. And this leads to resentment and bitterness in the end: We feel that we didn't get in life what we deserved. When, in fact, we didn't really even try. We didn't make the effort, we just hummed along in the herd making a lot of noise, but not really going anywhere, as we didn't want to venture out on new grounds. We just did the minimum of what (we thought) was expected of us to fit in and stuck to the rest of the flock. All humming along to the same old tune. That's the comfort zone. Unfortunately, the comfort zone is not very comfortable in the long run. 

It's a pretty dirty place in fact. 

The key to change is to ask yourself: Why might you want to change in the first place? And why is that reason important TO YOU? 

Remember no one absolutely has to do anything. We change because we want to. We change when we can't stop ourselves from reconnecting with our core values and calling in life. We change when we tap into that motivation within.

We change because we want to become a better person - only you know what that person looks like, feels like and acts like, in your skin.

So ask yourself one simple question: Why MIGHT you want to change?

And why is THAT reason important TO YOU?

Because you don't HAVE to.
No one absolutely has to do anything.
You too have been granted free will, you are not a passive victim being pushed around even if that's what you are telling yourself. You can always choose not to change. It's your decision. 

In this skin.

I was thinking of something the other day while digging my feet in the still-warm-sand watching the last rays of the sun scatter across the ocean.

I was thinking, why. Why are so many people struggling with just being human - in this skin. Why can we not just embrace being in this skin - alive and well. And yet, everyone is fighting their own battle regardless of how picture perfect it may look from the outside. Regardless - and in spite of, and sometimes indeed because of - everything they have been given, that's been handed to them on a silver plate.

And it's not very difficult to answer. It's just sometimes it is so very easy to forget.

We don't grow if we do not struggle. And the whole point of being in this skin is to develop character - to grow. On a wider scale - every culture who has chosen to embrace hedonism and the easy life has been struck by nemesis. And the fundament they built their empire on has been made by sticks that the wind could easily blow to pieces. Resilience is like a muscle we develop through trying again and again and again and again and again. And yet again. And when we crawl through mud and think we are sinking, that is when we must pull ourselves up - that is the turning point where we change, where we grow stronger, wiser and compassionate. That is the moment where we do not care of the reflection in the mirror, because we have faced our inner demons - we know exactly what we are made of.

This is the only muscle that matters in life - developing resilience enables us to overcome our own weaknesses, to have compassion for others who need help and to burn our ego and vanity, because we are not giving into the pressure of a toxic environment to live up to a certain set of fake and hollow standards that are morally corrupted and will slowly eat us up from the inside. Ultimately leading to our own destruction - whether we turn to drugs, foods, relationships or what not, in attempt to numb the pain of disconnecting from our core self.

We must never give up. We must always grow... however slowly, that is the only way.

Probiotics more efficient than antidepressants.

Probiotics have time and time again been found to be more efficient that antidepressants. Simply because the main neurotransmitter involved in happy mood - serotonin - 95% is found in your gut. Depression is directly related to malabsorption, food allergies etc. Changing what you eat, changes how you feel - naturally and long-term. 
One of my favorite breakfasts is berries with raw sour cream or just plain yogurt - raw yogurt has higher probiotics contents and thus the antidepressant effect is that much more potent. If I'm on the go I'll layer in a jar - so pretty.

Do they know your shadow?

If no one knows your shadow. 

If no one knows your cry when the lights are out and it's ohso quiet. 

If no one has ever seen the rainstorms on your cheeks,

because they only show when it rains outside.

It's the rain you say - I never cry.

Then no one really knows you.

And they can't love you, if they don't know you, for who you are

 and because of and in spite of.

Who knows your shadow? 

I love this quote by Marianne Williamson 

 - it reminds me that only the weak think they are strong. Or in other words: the stronger you are, the weaker you were. Through suffering came perseverance.

Relax... let go... and just be.

Natural Prescription For Hormone Balancing.

Why Even Non-celiacs May Need To Skip Gluten.

The Power of Vulnerability.

Many of us are so scared of rejection... of being vulnerable.... that we choose to numb vulnerability. When we "numb" vulnerability, we also numb our ability to feel happiness, joy.... we are simply numb. Numb as in we are the most addicted, obese, in debt and "certain" generation in US history. Certain as in addicted to boxes... vegans, dems, reps, doctor titles etc. etc. There is no discourse in politics anymore; it's just I'm right, you're wrong. Shut up. That's fear manifesting itself into aggression.

Never forget that your very weaknesses are what will turn in to be your greatest strengths and pull you away from mediocricy... but you most first DARE to be weak... to be you... no veil... no more coverups and pretensions... just the naked you.

Check out this GREAT TedTalk by Brene Brown that I stumbled upon while attending the annual TedxSocal, Longbeach, "Alchemy of Transformation" that just wrapped up today (an awesome event btw!).

Changing pains.

You already have everything you need within you; everything to be happy and satisfied. It doesn't matter where you are or what you have - happiness is a state of mind. 
...And blahblahblah.

You've probably heard something similar, as this is commonly repeated over and over again amongst coaches, therapists and spiritual guides.

Unfortunately, this is not very motivating, depending on just how deep shit you are in. Yes, excuse my language here, but really - some of us are, or have been, in deep shit. So deep, in fact, that being told that we should "just be happy" because it is a state of mind, only adds to frustration, as we are very much aware already of the fact that we may have everything, yet we are just not able to connect - to be happy. Everything looks great on a piece of paper: handsome spouse that may adore you, cute kids, a suburban house the envy of Martha Stewart, and your ass is still pretty hot. Or, granted, you may not have any of this. It doesn't really matter, because the thing here is, that whether having it or not, you can be equally messed up and unhappy. The unique obstacle with the client who has nothing, however, is that this person will tend to live in the future - a dream world - where they convince themselves that if only they had x, y and z, everything in their life would be perfect. Perfection - always this search for perfection. A concept that does not exist thus keeps us prisoner on  the treadmill of life; going nowhere, but aiming for perfection by constantly upping the pace til we pass out from exhaustion. 

But because we convince ourselves that happiness is to be found in something external that we have yet to experience, we are very resistant to wake up and change before having experienced having everything and still being unhappy.

So what do both types of clients do - the one that has everything and the one that may be lacking certain aspects of whatever it is society tells us we need to be happy? 

They eventually end up on some therapist's couch and will hear a line somewhat similar to "you know, happiness is a state of mind, you already have everything within you!" Although, I too am guilty of saying this line - because it is true - it is imperative that this is followed up with a hands-on goal setting strategy as in: what's you current DOABLE next step to change. If you are stuck in quicksand in an environment that is contaminated by addiction to vanity matters and materialism - and your friends all have boob jobs and botox done for fun on their lunchbreaks; spending all their free time talking about the size of their asses and getting one manicure after the next; it's going to take a lot of work and constant struggle to swim against the stream. And if you are already weak, you're most likely not going to make it. 

Even though you already have everything you need within - all your muscles to swim against the flow are there, but if you have not used them for ages, you need to start out swimming in shallow water and not jumping head on into the pacific. That's how people drown - when they don't match where they are at with what they are capable of dealing with stress wise. 

You can only tolerate so much pain at any given time if you are to make it to the other side.

And sometimes that means you need to cut out people, places and spaces that are toxic for you right now - because you are just too vulnerable to deal with everything simultaneously during times of change. Again, you may want to go back to these places and people later on when you have developed a thicker skin (or you may not), where they no longer penetrate through to your soul and weaken your core being.

Nothing has to be forever. Nothing is forever.

Timing, however, is vital.

When you know what you want and what you don't want in life, it's time to come up with a step by step action plan. A therapist telling you to just be happy in the skin you are in is not leading you anywhere, unfortunately. Thus, it is not surprising that most people keep going to a therapist foreverever - and yet, they are not changing anything in their life, but adding to the size of their shrink's wallet. 

Although it may be nice to pay someone to listen to all your whining and complaining; you still end up with a sense of being a failure because you get told a message of that "you just need to be happy in the skin you're in" - just like that.

As much as I do adore kids games and tricks - magic is for kids only. This message of that suddenly you will wake up one day and be able to draw on your inner strengths is magical thinking.

Change takes action, planning and analyzing your current strengths and weaknesses to determine what is the next step for you right NOW! Yes, change is not always comfortable, but it is also not supposed to be so painful that you faint and numb out, or relapse into (self)destructive behaviors as a mechanism to sedate yourself out of the pain of change.

For successful change I have found the SWOT model to be of dire value when dealing with behavioral changes. I will have this tool available for download under "Health Tools" once The Nutrition Doctor's web portal is up and running end of August - a link will be here on my blog, so stay tuned!

Are you living life as a sheep?

Suffering only exists in the matrix, when you follow the herd instead of your calling.

If you are currently suffering in your life; you are stuck in the matrix.

Stop looking for some magic pill. Whether it is a health, or a “mind-game” issue; the temptation to look for a quick fix is, well, tempting.

As with anything, to truly solve it, you can only suppress the symptoms for so long, before everything crumbles. And that’s why I am always focused on curing the cause - whether I’m coaching a client in breaking free of an addiction or other self-destructive behavior, or understanding the root cause of their health imbalances as my work as a nutrition doctor. If it’s a health matter, it’s about understanding the language of your genes; rather than symptom management with Rx meds of which you can only afford to be on for so long before they will, in fact, kill you. And you can only understand the difference between symptom management and treating the cause, if you have a background in neuroscience and brain chemistry - because that is where the signals ultimately stem from. Yes, your brain controls your body. Simple, really. And yet, there is a profound lack of this focus in health care still. Very tragic, but there’s money in keeping “dis”-ease chronic, keeping you on meds and keeping you coming back for more.

And the exact same holds true for every other aspect of discomfort in your life.
When you are not emotionally at ease with yourself, you can attempt to drown and distract yourself in people/sex/drugs/food/money/work/shopping/botox etc. Only to find that you need more and more to suppress what is slowly building up inside you: a deep penetrating unhappiness that vibrates from your every cell. It is as if your body is screaming at you to stop participating in the insanity, but you just can’t decode the language because you have not been taught it.

Everything in society is centered around making you an “addict”. That’s where the money is baby. Unless you step out of the matrix, that is.

And when I say “addict”, I mean it in the broadest sense; it’s the accepted addiction of controlling other people’s every move; it’s your friend texting that hotshot a zillion times and asking why (s)he’s not responding yet. And yet the answer is obvious - because you are desperate. What are you exactly bringing to the plate, except draining other people’s energy and trying to call it love. It’s not love, honey: it’s demanding immature addiction to misery.

Or it’s the vanity addiction.
Posting 110 pics of yourself on Facebook from every imaginable and unimaginable angle all dolled up, posing for the cameras to get “liked’, because you don’t like yourself; it’s training for an eight-pack, when you already have a six-pack; it’s getting a D-cup, when you already have a C-cup; it’s getting another botox injection and you haven’t even hit 30 yet, but you are so scared of age showing up at your doorstep, because deep down inside you know that you are living the lie. And once time catches up with you, you’re done.
You are nothing but an empty shell that will crush under pressure.

Your shell is threatened by time only when it is hollow.

It doesn’t have to be that way.
Life is amazing the minute you let go of control, the moment you decide that you will no longer participate in the madness; you will not follow the herd and run off the cliff.

You will, in fact, step out of the matrix.

That’s why you work with someone who understands the language of your genes - or for that matter the language of life: because we were not handed a manual on how to live life, we tend to copy what others are doing in order to fit in; to not go against what is commonly accepted as the norm. We do this because we just want to be accepted. Please like me... please accept me... please forgive me.... please love me... pleasepleaseplease. Please give me what I can’t (or rather won’t) give myself.

Now I’m tempted to ask you, who exactly are these super loving and evolved beings, that are supposed to give you what you can't even give yourself, supposed to be? Where are they supposed to come from, if we are all living the lie and just waiting for a miracle to save us? Outer space? Because quite frankly darling, there’s a bigger chance of you being saved by an alien than by another human being.

People cannot save you from you. Life doesn’t work that way.

You must take the first step and change YOU. Everything else falls into place after that.

And yes, you are scared, I know. I know the feeling of fear all too well. Humans are scared by nature, that’s the only way to be brave. You become brave by overcoming fear. The strongest people are those who have suffered with the most penetrating fears and weaknesses. Yes, it’s true: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

How do you overcome the fear factor?
We are scared only because we have not yet accepted ourselves, thus we look for approval outside. Something that can never happen. And we get caught in the game of the matrix - constantly trying harder and harder to prove that we are, in fact, worthy. Worthy of love.

But who is going to love you, when you don’t even know what love is?
How will you be able to even recognize what love is, when you haven’t even mastered the first and most important relationship in your life, that which is with yourself?

Many of us end up in relationships because, well, then at least we live up to the expectation of what normal is. We have someone to share our... wait for it... misery with.

Isn't that just nice. Now we can complain about each other and everyone else under the sun to each other. On and on and on; it never ends - constantly affirming and confirming each other in our miserable lives and how tough it is and yadayadayada. Awesome.

This has nothing to do with love. 

You are abusing other people because you are not comfortable in your own skin. That’s not love, my friend: it’s desperation and people can sense it from miles away. And that is why you are repeating the same type of relationships again and again and again. That’s why you are going nowhere - because you are focused on suppressing the malignant disease within, instead of turning to yourself for once in your life and fixing YOU.

Stop the blame game.
I hear this constantly from friends and in my work, “oh, but why is he/she like that, why doesn’t he/she call me back, why does he/she treat me like that...” Whywhywhy. Stop it. Just stop it. It’s not them, it’s YOU. It is always YOU.
Grow up. Take responsibility. Stop the whining. You are spreading negativity all over the freakin’ place, and of course no one will want to be around someone like that. That’s why your relationships keep going down the drain. That’s why you keep getting the same results (or lack thereof). Yes, you can come across people who are messed up, and I’m not saying, it’s not a two-way street and only and always youyouyou. But really, if you keep hitting repeat, it’s you.

If you are not happy, you have been dealt the cards to solve it already. No one except you are responsible for your happiness - all the clingyness and neediness is just simply annoying lack of having developed you.

Love is freedom.
Love is not about trapping people; it’s about setting them free to be who they are meant to be. When you love something or someone you only want them to be happy. There is no sense of loss, no need to trap them. You only trap other human beings and inflict pain, when you are scared of being alone with yourself. And that is both vain, incredibly egoistic as well as being plain narcissistic.

If normal is what most people are doing, then no wonder your body is screaming to go against the norm - to turn around and run. Normal is depressed. Normal is morbidly obese. Normal is Tinseltown sickeningly skinny. Normal is ridiculous starvation diets. Normal is eating disorders. Normal is addictions. Normal is screaming at your spouse. Normal is paying an escort for what your wife can’t give you anymore. Normal is drowning your sorrows on the bottom of that whiskey bottle. Normal is...
I think you get where I am going.

Your core nature does not want to dive into what normal is because... it is insane; it disconnects you from who you are. From what you are truly able to be; what you were meant to be.

Disconnection is the key to all unhappiness.
And no, you cannot get connected by getting involved with other disconnected ends - it just makes for an intertwined electrical shortcut.

You get connected by stepping out of the matrix.
You get connected by going against the herd.
You get connected by waking up, feeling incredibly scared, almost being numbed out by the fear factor - and in that moment, you decide to either step up to the plate and crawl, walk, run - screamyellcry if you must - but goddammit, you will walk your way out of the matrix, whatever it takes; even when everybody is calling you crazy, saying to come back into the comfort zone. The comfort zone of collective misery - never forget that.

You walk out that door, slam it shut and never turn back.

Or, you dive back into the box, slowly self-destructing. And now even worse, because you have seen sanity, you know there is light outside the box.
You know that normal is, in fact, insane.
So it will take a whole lot more of addictive behaviors to numb you out this time around.

So what to do now?
First you make that choice  - that you will do whatever it takes to get out of the matrix.
You must make that choice, it’s not magically going to happen one day.

Step out of the matrix.
Stop following other people’s sick rules.
Rules in a game designed to kill.
You are meant for so much more.
Life. is NOW.

You can sign up for next available spot coming up in August for life coaching with The Nutrition Doctor here.

No Strings Attached.

"The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way." 

Now that's just nonsense. Sorry Robert Kiyosaki, but it is.

A lot of us who are still somewhat stuck in the matrix end up mesmerized by motivational quotes as the one by Kiyosaki above. These quotes are so deviously misleading because they seem powerful on the surface, but only serve as a thin disguise to speed up on the treadmill of life. You abuse these quotes to go nowhere; until you surrender from exhaustion; hitting the wall; calling it midlife crisis; yet midlife crisis is nothing but the moment we realize we have been living a lie; we have been sucked up in this image that we are told we should fit into; living other people's fake lives. 

Being driven, passionate and having desire - those seemingly awesome values can be our very downfall if you fail to understand how to manage them.

So how do you manage desire without becoming greedy, needy and scared of failure? 
You don't.
You manage desire by letting it be there.
By not controlling it. By cutting any attachments to it.

What am I talking about? 
Well, it means that of course you should have that zest for life... be VIBRANT... come ALIVE... be PASSIONATE! BUT. You do not want to desire something so bad that you lose yourself. Because what happens is that you live in the future, you are tricking yourself into this illusion that when you get whatever it is you THINK that you desire, your life will be perfect.
You will finally be whole.
Lies, lies, lies.

Nothing or no one makes you whole or happy.
Either you are whole and happy or you are not. Fix it and move on. Don't make someone get involved in your unfixed business out of vanity and desperation, because they CAN'T fix you. It has nothing to do with love. Well, actually that's not true. It has a whole lot to do with love. A penetrating lack of love for yourself, and that's why you so desperately seek out things, people, botox, pints of ice cream and/or drugs to fill that void within you.

And sometimes someone comes along who may love you for who you are, in spite of what you are....
And they may see you hurting, but they still can't fix you.
And you will end up resenting them for not fixing you, because you are still stuck in your misery at the end of the day.

Disappointment only happens when we are attached to things, when we are controlled by our ego, when we are not whole yet.

This is a very tricky topic to explain fully, because it doesn't mean that you should not care about other people, or not want to go to the next level.

I'll be frank - I have a weakness for fast cars, stilettos and ocean views. But if I lose my money tomorrow, and what I do for a living suddenly provides zero income, even though I do love what I do for a living right now; it's fine. Really, I'll just start over and see what else comes along in life. I have no fears losing out, and that means that I can risk everything and take it to the next level because I'm not attached to fear and material values. Sure, it's nice to have. But that's it. I have lived without stuff before, and it doesn't really matter. It does not define who I am, what I am worth or capable of doing in this life.

The moment you let go of your ego's attachment, so that your self-worth is not defined by external factors, you can achieve everything because fear no longer controls you.
Remember that where focus goes, energy flows.

The truly amazing thing here is that that happens without struggle when you let go... when you cut the chains of attachment. And that is also the very moment you are - because and in spite of everything - able to commit to another human being, because you are not abusing them to fill you up - you are simply enhancing YOU.

And that's what life is all about when all is said and done: being the best version of you and sharing.
No regrets. No disappointments.
Just taking it to the next level.

And sometimes you may tumble and fall, but it's OK - it's not YOU, it does not compromise your self-worth; it does not lead to disappointment because it does not define YOU - and that enables you to keep trying: no strings attached!

Most people are other people.

Most people are other people's thoughts.

Most people live other people's lives.

Most people are walking dead.

Most people never COME ALIVE.

The purpose of life is not to win.

"The purpose of life is to grow and to share. When you come to look back on all that you have done in life, you will get more satisfaction from the pleasure you have brought into other people's lives than you will from the time that you outdid and defeated them."

Harold Kushner

Rabbi and Author

I LOVE this!
Just like what you eat is key in determining whether your genotype will turn into your phenotype; environment is a key factor in bringing up the best (or worst) traits in you; and that is also one of the reasons I've spent a lot of my youth on gypsy traveling; to figure out which environment supports my own core values and gives me that sense of bliss so I can be creative.

Now how would that make YOU feel better, come on now:
you'd still be stuck in your own misery at the end of the day.

For me, there is no place like California - there is a playfulness in the air and a dynamic environment to think outside the box and get inspired by others instead of just participating in a rat-race where it's all about walking all over other people, aiming to make them look bad, so you look better.

The thing is, this sort of behavior prevents you from evolving and reaching excellence that is soul-deep, not to mention it brings deep unhappiness. The more you can appreciate the brilliance of others, the more you will be able to succeed and grow as a human being - getting inspired by others' success instead of being eaten up by envy.


Regardless of how much empathy you may have, it is close to inhuman to not run with the herd, making it all the more important to choose your environment carefully, because sooner or later you will tend to blend in as this requires the least struggle - even if it makes you engage in things that don't match your core beliefs. You are human and we tend to give in to instant gratification and temptation - so rather than waiting for your breaking point, remove yourself, if you find that you have to struggle to remain balanced in the environment you are in.

When you are around people who are passionate about what they do, and they have a reason for their acts that go deeper than shallow vanity, there is an amazing air of creativity and sharing that inspires you to be better as others around you excel - and that is amazing.

Shadows.

Blankets of the night, Sahara
From my Eat+Travel book available via ChristinaSantini.com

When your mind is dark.
Darker than the ravens that fly high above.
Only the lonely
In the night find shelter...
You hope to stumble upon paradise.

And you look directly into the sun;
Blinded by the light.
You seek into the shadows.
Surrendering to the dark side.
Once again.

It feels familiar.
It feels safe.
You have nothing to lose.
Nothing to win.
You risk nothing.
Nothing.

Terrified of exposing your naked skin.
Your cuts and bruises never heal.
Numbed from fear.
You wait.

You hope.
That you will recognize.
What you long for.
In denial.
Where you reside.
And hide.
No sunlight to warm your frozen heart.
Wrapping yourself in the blankets of the night.

...And then one stormy night those blankets are torn to shreds.
You fly away.