Only the lonely has self-confidence.

Believe in yourself! You can do it! You are powerful! You and you alone can do everything!  Just set your mind to it.

Or not.

Alone you are nothing but a weakling; you alone are nothing. And deep inside you know it. That's why it makes you angry. That's why you continue to need other human beings' approving nod of your existence - and we do this in so many different ways, that we don't even realize how much we are draining other people by asking them to fill the void within us. Please love me, please tell me I'm pretty, please tell me I'm good enough, please tell me you love me. 

The real question is: do YOU love anyone...?

I know that this is not politically correct to say; and you may disagree, which is fine; I often disagree with myself as time goes by. After all, that is why we have a mind, isn't it? So we can CHANGE it as new stuff comes to light.

We are raised in a culture that currently promotes and rewards those that claim to know-it-all - to have found their inner power; that they are second to none. That they alone have everything they need, just by being them. Alone they believe they are immortal, or as close as it comes, anyway.

While it's always difficult to explain the absolute crucial need to believe in that you, in fact, can do anything and everything; the fallacy lies in believing that you ALONE can do it.

Alone you are nothing. 

And I'm not talking about being alone as in no one else physically around you; I'm talking about where your confidence is derived from.
Anyone who has ever gone even partway down the path of Hubris, knows how fragile the human mind is and that humans are, in fact, incredibly weak hedonistic beings when they rely on themselves (what we like to call "great self-confidence").

There is nothing great about self-confidence. 

Self-confidence is a defense mechanism that you put up - thick as a brick-wall - to protect your fragile little self from the outside. Meaning, no one will see your debilitating weaknesses, and no one will be able to see you - who you really are - due to the shield you have built, and what others will call "great self-confidence".

Kim Kardashion & Paris Hilton: Sex, drugs, and exhibitionism... 

No, this is not confidence. 

This is a brick-wall thick as steel covering up weakness. 

And with all eyes on you, 

it's no easy task to tear down your self-built brick-wall.

You come off as being tough as steel.

You're unbreakable and your friends will praise you for it; yet you will also constantly get challenged in order to be proven wrong. Your strength will constantly be challenged by the outside, because that is human nature: to challenge what seems unbreakable. But deep inside you know, that you are so fragile... so broken.... that you dare not let anyone in, lest they step on your shattered, broken pieces, and you fear the pain of the splinters penetrating into your core soul. You simply don't believe that you are able to deal with the pain at any level. You are living in constant fear of pain. There is really nothing confident nor attractive about that.

Emotions are terrifying to you and you don't have the confidence to believe that you are actually able to deal with them, so you suppress them; ignore them... you choose numbness. A pause button of sorts; unfortunately the time is still ticking.

Now there are different levels to this; not all of us will build brick-walls; some of us manage to just build a tree fence; so we deal with a bit of feelings now and then, and we can let people slightly in; and  ironically as the pain and the numbness is not totally life debilitating; many of those of us who have built simple tree fences go through our entire life like this - only partly alive; always half asleep; never hot but never ice cold either. We have adjusted to perfect fitness for a sick society. We have mastered the art of fitting into a lukewarm society contaminated with mediocricy; we avoid swimming against the stream - we simply float with it, and hope for the best (...).

The key is to find confidence in what it is that gives you strength; because you can do ANYTHING through what it is that gives you power. It's just like a lamp; the lamp must rely on an electrical output otherwise it may look pretty, but it is worth nothing and it is good for nothing.

And that is why self-confident people are, in  fact, the most vulnerable and weakest of all - they are not dealing with one single emotion, not one single feeling dare they feel as they fear it will break them. And they are constantly torn between society's praise of them being awesome and unbreakable (just namedrop any celebrity here you like..) and their own inner knowledge of that they alone are nothing (why they rely on drugs/sex/alcohol/rage outbursts/gambling/shopping/stealing etc. to numbify them).

That is weakness.

True strength is only available once you surrender every single part of you; accepting your vulnerabilities... and have faith in what gives you strength. Know what is your electrical output. Certain behaviors may grant you instant relief --- but relying on getting your power from "batteries" only lasts for so long. You will break sooner or later if you rely on running solely on batteries. It is only a matter of time; and whether you chose Duracell or some cheaper version...

"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength" Phil 4:13

Settling for the picture perfect life.

I love this music video by Kimbra - everything we THINK we need in this life, only adds to misery as we spin our slippery webs, luring others in by the shimmery shallowness, only to trap them in an attempt to fill the void that is within us; that only we ourselves can fill... or rather through our faith in Him. Yes, I'll be quite frank here... I have yet to meet an atheist who is wholesome... where there is not a sense of despair in the air; not to say that believers are saved people of any sorts - there are bad seeds everywhere.

Still, it is puzzling to me how humans will believe in anything and everything but God. And even more discombobulating that some people will get downright angry if you admit to being a follower of Him. And there is something deeply disturbing in that it seems more "trendy" to speak about God as the divine in the treetops or celebrate some holy stones as a divine being of sorts. Or believe in scientology, horoscopes, stars, aliens, mars men.... christalmighty, the list goes on of what people find more acceptable and "trendy" to believe in rather than God of which there is so much evidence both in writing and actual parts from buildings and ships that goes to confirm what is written in the Bible.

Well, this was all a side note - I won't bore you guys with more of my personal faith, although it has been a saving grace for me - as for all humanity, I'm tempted to say. And thank god that He does not lower his standards to a pop culture. So no - I won't be "getting with the times" and the evergrowing newage faith tribes promoting tolerance, love and whatnot; yet ever so judgmental if you do not follow their manmade rules on vegan dieting and whatnot (...). Quite the hypocrisy. These manmade rules do not match the circle of life nor nature's path. Going to one extreme does not outweigh the other end... the solution to the abuse occurring everywhere today - whether it be towards factory farmed animals or domestic violence is not found in going to the other end of the specter -- you still tip the balance; resulting in a fundamentally flawed one-dimensional way of thinking aka black/white addictive thinking pattern that we are prone to lean on. Because it is easy - we get to put people in our beloved boxes; tricking ourselves into thinking that we have evolved into accepting beings; yet ever so busy making up rules as we go... always adjusting depending on the flavor of the day... and our comfort (...)

One might say, that the Bible is judgmental; well, thing is we all know what is right and what is wrong at any given time deep within our core. Yes, we do - otherwise we wouldn't feel "bad" when we do certain things in life... and where did this conscience come from I ask? If there is no higher power, a conscience actually makes no sense at all. Only the one who created us is able to ever judge us - so if you ever go to a faith based society and find that you are judged by man... keep in mind, that this has nothing to do with faith or believing in God - it is power abused by man - and that occurs everywhere. That's life. This life, anyway.

But getting back to settling. I don't believe in settling... with anything or anyone. Nono I'm not commitment phobic - I am all for commitment, when it is natural and it flows. The point being, settling; as in losing yourself, your values and abusing other people to fill a void that you choose to ignore rather than step up to the plate and fix it. That is actually a very egocentric and not very caring approach to enter a relationship - we enter out of need and compromise.

I don't believe any one of us should settle down with anyone before we have our own lives straight... because two wrongs don't make a right, it only makes for postponing sorting your own messiness out; a distraction of sorts. And as humans, we sure do love our distractions, don't we. 

Unfortunately, you can only suppress symptoms temporarily - as with all things in life... so the pace we move at depends on how much pain we experience in the current situation... the more pain, the quicker we typically choose to develop and move on... the sweet lure lies in the pain that we can override via other distractions - Rx meds, addictions and whatnot. 

You self-medicate on these behaviors when you disconnect from your core being. 

You no longer need to self-medicate when you heal the disconnected ends within you. 

Simple.

Does your doctor walk the talk?

He also owns 150,000 shares of a vaccine corporation AND sits on their board of directors.

In spite of some of Dr. Oz's advice being quite solid, make no mistake: he's not your doctor, 

but big pharma's doctor. KaChing! The sound of selling your soul for cool cash.

Nothing is more ugly than people who don't walk the talk.
You don't have to be perfect and run it - we all stumble, fall and crawl;
but if you're not moving in the right direction,
you are living the lie.

Does your doctor walk the talk?

Are you living life as a sheep?

Suffering only exists in the matrix, when you follow the herd instead of your calling.

If you are currently suffering in your life; you are stuck in the matrix.

Stop looking for some magic pill. Whether it is a health, or a “mind-game” issue; the temptation to look for a quick fix is, well, tempting.

As with anything, to truly solve it, you can only suppress the symptoms for so long, before everything crumbles. And that’s why I am always focused on curing the cause - whether I’m coaching a client in breaking free of an addiction or other self-destructive behavior, or understanding the root cause of their health imbalances as my work as a nutrition doctor. If it’s a health matter, it’s about understanding the language of your genes; rather than symptom management with Rx meds of which you can only afford to be on for so long before they will, in fact, kill you. And you can only understand the difference between symptom management and treating the cause, if you have a background in neuroscience and brain chemistry - because that is where the signals ultimately stem from. Yes, your brain controls your body. Simple, really. And yet, there is a profound lack of this focus in health care still. Very tragic, but there’s money in keeping “dis”-ease chronic, keeping you on meds and keeping you coming back for more.

And the exact same holds true for every other aspect of discomfort in your life.
When you are not emotionally at ease with yourself, you can attempt to drown and distract yourself in people/sex/drugs/food/money/work/shopping/botox etc. Only to find that you need more and more to suppress what is slowly building up inside you: a deep penetrating unhappiness that vibrates from your every cell. It is as if your body is screaming at you to stop participating in the insanity, but you just can’t decode the language because you have not been taught it.

Everything in society is centered around making you an “addict”. That’s where the money is baby. Unless you step out of the matrix, that is.

And when I say “addict”, I mean it in the broadest sense; it’s the accepted addiction of controlling other people’s every move; it’s your friend texting that hotshot a zillion times and asking why (s)he’s not responding yet. And yet the answer is obvious - because you are desperate. What are you exactly bringing to the plate, except draining other people’s energy and trying to call it love. It’s not love, honey: it’s demanding immature addiction to misery.

Or it’s the vanity addiction.
Posting 110 pics of yourself on Facebook from every imaginable and unimaginable angle all dolled up, posing for the cameras to get “liked’, because you don’t like yourself; it’s training for an eight-pack, when you already have a six-pack; it’s getting a D-cup, when you already have a C-cup; it’s getting another botox injection and you haven’t even hit 30 yet, but you are so scared of age showing up at your doorstep, because deep down inside you know that you are living the lie. And once time catches up with you, you’re done.
You are nothing but an empty shell that will crush under pressure.

Your shell is threatened by time only when it is hollow.

It doesn’t have to be that way.
Life is amazing the minute you let go of control, the moment you decide that you will no longer participate in the madness; you will not follow the herd and run off the cliff.

You will, in fact, step out of the matrix.

That’s why you work with someone who understands the language of your genes - or for that matter the language of life: because we were not handed a manual on how to live life, we tend to copy what others are doing in order to fit in; to not go against what is commonly accepted as the norm. We do this because we just want to be accepted. Please like me... please accept me... please forgive me.... please love me... pleasepleaseplease. Please give me what I can’t (or rather won’t) give myself.

Now I’m tempted to ask you, who exactly are these super loving and evolved beings, that are supposed to give you what you can't even give yourself, supposed to be? Where are they supposed to come from, if we are all living the lie and just waiting for a miracle to save us? Outer space? Because quite frankly darling, there’s a bigger chance of you being saved by an alien than by another human being.

People cannot save you from you. Life doesn’t work that way.

You must take the first step and change YOU. Everything else falls into place after that.

And yes, you are scared, I know. I know the feeling of fear all too well. Humans are scared by nature, that’s the only way to be brave. You become brave by overcoming fear. The strongest people are those who have suffered with the most penetrating fears and weaknesses. Yes, it’s true: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

How do you overcome the fear factor?
We are scared only because we have not yet accepted ourselves, thus we look for approval outside. Something that can never happen. And we get caught in the game of the matrix - constantly trying harder and harder to prove that we are, in fact, worthy. Worthy of love.

But who is going to love you, when you don’t even know what love is?
How will you be able to even recognize what love is, when you haven’t even mastered the first and most important relationship in your life, that which is with yourself?

Many of us end up in relationships because, well, then at least we live up to the expectation of what normal is. We have someone to share our... wait for it... misery with.

Isn't that just nice. Now we can complain about each other and everyone else under the sun to each other. On and on and on; it never ends - constantly affirming and confirming each other in our miserable lives and how tough it is and yadayadayada. Awesome.

This has nothing to do with love. 

You are abusing other people because you are not comfortable in your own skin. That’s not love, my friend: it’s desperation and people can sense it from miles away. And that is why you are repeating the same type of relationships again and again and again. That’s why you are going nowhere - because you are focused on suppressing the malignant disease within, instead of turning to yourself for once in your life and fixing YOU.

Stop the blame game.
I hear this constantly from friends and in my work, “oh, but why is he/she like that, why doesn’t he/she call me back, why does he/she treat me like that...” Whywhywhy. Stop it. Just stop it. It’s not them, it’s YOU. It is always YOU.
Grow up. Take responsibility. Stop the whining. You are spreading negativity all over the freakin’ place, and of course no one will want to be around someone like that. That’s why your relationships keep going down the drain. That’s why you keep getting the same results (or lack thereof). Yes, you can come across people who are messed up, and I’m not saying, it’s not a two-way street and only and always youyouyou. But really, if you keep hitting repeat, it’s you.

If you are not happy, you have been dealt the cards to solve it already. No one except you are responsible for your happiness - all the clingyness and neediness is just simply annoying lack of having developed you.

Love is freedom.
Love is not about trapping people; it’s about setting them free to be who they are meant to be. When you love something or someone you only want them to be happy. There is no sense of loss, no need to trap them. You only trap other human beings and inflict pain, when you are scared of being alone with yourself. And that is both vain, incredibly egoistic as well as being plain narcissistic.

If normal is what most people are doing, then no wonder your body is screaming to go against the norm - to turn around and run. Normal is depressed. Normal is morbidly obese. Normal is Tinseltown sickeningly skinny. Normal is ridiculous starvation diets. Normal is eating disorders. Normal is addictions. Normal is screaming at your spouse. Normal is paying an escort for what your wife can’t give you anymore. Normal is drowning your sorrows on the bottom of that whiskey bottle. Normal is...
I think you get where I am going.

Your core nature does not want to dive into what normal is because... it is insane; it disconnects you from who you are. From what you are truly able to be; what you were meant to be.

Disconnection is the key to all unhappiness.
And no, you cannot get connected by getting involved with other disconnected ends - it just makes for an intertwined electrical shortcut.

You get connected by stepping out of the matrix.
You get connected by going against the herd.
You get connected by waking up, feeling incredibly scared, almost being numbed out by the fear factor - and in that moment, you decide to either step up to the plate and crawl, walk, run - screamyellcry if you must - but goddammit, you will walk your way out of the matrix, whatever it takes; even when everybody is calling you crazy, saying to come back into the comfort zone. The comfort zone of collective misery - never forget that.

You walk out that door, slam it shut and never turn back.

Or, you dive back into the box, slowly self-destructing. And now even worse, because you have seen sanity, you know there is light outside the box.
You know that normal is, in fact, insane.
So it will take a whole lot more of addictive behaviors to numb you out this time around.

So what to do now?
First you make that choice  - that you will do whatever it takes to get out of the matrix.
You must make that choice, it’s not magically going to happen one day.

Step out of the matrix.
Stop following other people’s sick rules.
Rules in a game designed to kill.
You are meant for so much more.
Life. is NOW.

You can sign up for next available spot coming up in August for life coaching with The Nutrition Doctor here.

Awakenings.

Living the lie. 

I believe it's human nature to be an addict. 
And I also believe that the temptation to give in to instant gratification makes for an outcome where we tend to gravitate towards ultimately (self)destructive behaviors that we become addicted to by repeating them again and again; reinforcing the reward mechanism and mapping out new paths for pleasure in our brain.

A brain that gets addicted to misery, unnatural highs and extreme lows. Insanity becomes our new sanity. We feel comfortable when we engage in patterns that our brain is used to recognizing and rewarding with a cascade of pleasure chemicals such as endorphins, serotonin, glutamate and dopamine. Every high, every instant gratification, outburst of rage... whatever our shadow is... is followed predictably with a crash. And so we must do it again - and often times in a more extreme manner, as we adapt to drugs and behaviors; dopamine is only stimulated by novelty. We get used to this way of being, and our brain responds with pain whenever we try to change our ingrained behaviors. Because it has no reward system attached to the new (healthier) habits we are trying to develop. Yet, that is.

Addiction is not limited to drugs - it's everything and anything.
Shopping, sex, drugs, alcohol, food, cutting, gambling, Internet and... even something like being a drama queen. You become addicted to the highs and lows, and your constant fits of rage and hysteria... you are actually turned on (unconsciously) by the emotional pornography and manipulative spiel you participate in. When you engage in a fight with someone, your body releases beta-endorphins - our natural painkillers - which are highly addicting. So yes, even "personalities" can be addictive.

Destructive behaviors are tempting for our basic instincts, when we have not become conscious yet. They tap into our shallow desires on a very primitive level. Now I am all for following basic instincts, but you need to be able to be driven on a much deeper level than what feels like s prickling sensation on your skin. Sensations come and go - passion (with reason) remains. But much worse is that when you give into the prickling, tingling sensation on your skin, it typically slits your veins when you least expect it, and leaves scars that often run soul deep.

So how do you know when you are following a shallow temptation?
When you are not selling your soul, you need no legislation or permission from anyone. Because it feels right. When you try to manipulate yourself and others by giving a thousand reasons why something is OK. It's not. It goes against your core beliefs. You can play mind-games with yourself. Distract yourself. Tell yourself you are fine. Everything is fine. Everybody else is doing it.

Wait. What. When did something become right, just because everyone else is doing it? 

Everybody's doing it... is how the worst scenarios in history unfolded.
Your life being no exception to this excuse.

Look yourself in the mirror. Do you recognize yourself? Self-loathing is tied to selling yourself short.
Why is this message so important for me to repeat over and over again - because I know this is the key to unlock every human being's bright light and endless potential. I know how painful it is to be a sleepwalker. And once you wake up, you can't go back to sleep.
All the pain and misery we feel is tied to a longing to connect with ourselves on a soul level. Follow your calling and become you. Become whole. And suddenly life is not that hard anymore.

Life, in fact, is very easy. 

Don't follow the herd as they run off the cliff, because that is essentially what we are doing - look around you - how many are not struggling with some type of destructive behavior to deal with life. AND LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. It's not that tough, it really isn't - it's all in our minds. And whether we choose to numb ourselves and ignore who we really are.


It is living the lie that is killing us and leads us down a road towards lifestyle diseases due to the suicidal lifestyles we choose to "cope" with the lies we tell ourselves - and others.
I don't have to tell you what's right - you know it. I don't know your truth. I don't know the lies you tell. But anyone who is not a sleepwalker can recognize the pain and suffering in others that are still lost in a haze.
If something makes you smile - just makes you radiate from within - do it, and do it again. Because then it's right. Everything else is tied to lies. You always get that slight metallic aftertaste that you need to wash down with a couple drinks if not. Just a little Anesthesia to take the edge off of your contradicting choices in life.

You numb yourself into unconsciousness.
And with no consciousness we don't think about the long-term consequences. All that matters is here and now. Typically because our choices cause chronic pain we get stuck in a drive for release this very moment, right now... want it now, need it now... nowNOWnow!
Or we will simply go insane. Or so we feel.

Posing for the cameras.
How many drugs does this lie take to sustain.

Feelings.
Of pain, rejection, discomfort in the skin you are in.
And wherever you look, there is a giant billboard screaming with a commercial for whatever "drug" or behavior you engage in; that you are fine. Everything is fine. This is normal. You are normal.
Paris Hilton does it. JLO is doing it. Heck, even your neighbor is doing it.
Do they seem like happy people to you? Why do you think they need all that makeup, botox and designer clothes... to cover up their hollowness inside... this is not rocket science.

Have you looked at how normal people are feeling and living lately?
All the silent screams. All the tears that never dry. All the pretension; the constant legalization of whatever we are doing, it's OK. Distracting yourself. Pretending it's not happening.

Go ahead dive in. Be part of the misery. Sell your soul.

Because that is essentially what you are doing, when you switch off the lights. Drowning in the darkness. 

And yet, if you can recognize any of these thought-patterns, it's too late to turn around, to go back to sleep, because you have seen the cuts... the blood stains on the floor. The vividly red streams cutting into the deep bottomless black that is within every human being.

Once you have awoken from your sleep, there is no escape. All EXITS are locked. You can either swim or drown, but you can't tread water anymore. Knowledge is power, but it comes with responsibility to take action.
You can't know and NOT do: If you've chosen to pull the curtain, you must stand up to whatever sight comes with it. There is no sneak-peaking once the curtain falls.

The first step is to wake up and stop pretending.

However painful that may be.

Nobody's perfect. But 'it'.

Forget airbrushing - now there's H&M's computer created fake models.

This is just ridiculous. I'm really not even going to waste time writing about just how distasteful it is that H&M now creates body perfection via computer.

Yes - these models above are completely fake, created by what is supposedly the ideal by a computer.

No doubt this is great biz for the plastic-fantastic surgeons. 

Currently I am working out of Miami, a city obsessed with perfecting the shell, it is sad to see the amount of plastic that many succumb to in a desperate attempt to fill the hollow void within themselves, instead of working on gaining self-recpect and thereby a STRONG mind in a STRONG body! You will not emotionally overeat or fill your body with junk food if you have self-respect - it's NOT about fanaticism; rather it's about reaching a healthy balance body, mind and soul!

Self-respect leads to a hot body (and even more importantly: a wholesome soul)! 

However, starting the other way around: completely changing mother-nature out of lack of self-respect leads to a deep despair and disconnection from your soul. 

Yesterday, I was standing in line at some Starbucks here in South Beach... lost in thought... and then yet suddenly something caught my attention. The scent of blood. You can smell it when people are obsessed with only changing their shell because they are still hollow inside. You can smell it like an animal that's wounded. 

And that always makes me very.. very sad to see.

And that way of faking perfection via computer creation of mother-nature is a disgrace to say the least. And it adds to further disconnection from body, mind and soul.

We can have it all, if we just start with filling the void first and then the wrapping is a piece of cake... pun intended.

But this ad... well... Shame! Shame on you H&M!

Barbie is dead.

Cappuccino con nata

Inhaling my cappuccino con nata this morning (yes, whipped cream comes standard when asking for a cappuccino in La Gomera where my travels has currently led me to. And hey, who am I to argue with local cuisine couture) while rummaging through a German tabloid in lack of English, I stumbled upon Barbie's obituary.

Bye, bye Barbie

And that's about time.
Considering the amount of Botox needed to erase the trace of time and any sudden emotion on her face, her veins must be spilling over with nerve toxic waste, I reckon.

And god bless us all wouldn't it be nice to break the chains of the beauty, pharma and diet industry slavery and stop this idiocy of thinking that looking like Paris Hilton, Elin King, Victoria Beckham and so the list goes on, is normal. Normal? Sure - for a 16-year-old, not normal for a grown woman. King’s thighs can compete with my biceps for crying out loud.
Why these unnatural bodies are being perpetuated as the ideal is BECAUSE they are not naturally achievable! This is simply a way of manipulating your body perception and promoting poor body image; making you addicted to diet pills, treadmills, endless botox injections and self-esteem flat-as-a-carpet. Making you miserable in the skin you are in is worth big bucks - and trust me: The Don Draper gang 21st century is laughing their derrieres off all the way to the bank.


There is nothing less attractive than self-esteem flat-as-a-carpet. It is ugly.

My cappuccino AM daily dog

Ironically, the more plastic you fill in your body to make up for that lack of basic self-worth, the less connected you often fell with your true self and values. Well, afterall you are filled with artificial waste now quite literally.


Let's just say, I am not one to shed a tear at Barbie's funeral.
She has certainly played her part in perpetuating a plastic-fantastic image that has been part of grotesquely brainwashing an entire Hiltonesque generation.

Read. Eat. Breathe. A sigh of relief.

Ashley Simpson's nose job linked to body dysmorphic disorder

Body dysmorphic disorder:
Ashley Simpson has struggled with eating disorders
 in addition to having undergone plastic surgery.

According to a new study, one-third of people who get nose jobs also have symptoms of moderate to severe body dysmorphic disorder, a mental illness where a person is so dissatisfied with real or imagined flaws that it disrupts daily life. The disorder can lead to suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, depression, anxiety and -- as is evidenced by this study -- unnecessary cosmetic surgery.

The new research, reported in the August issue of the journal Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, also shows that body dysmorphic disorder is especially common among people who have had more than one nose job.

Vanity. It kills.

Reference: http://journals.lww.com/plasreconsurg/pages/default.aspx

Show me your shell, and I will judge you.

What if we were all the same; the shell that contains our soul was the same to the judging eye.
The first impression - would be what?
The scent. The voice. And then perhaps the actual contents of what we have to say.

And you wonder - all those people dealing with daily insecurities because of their bodily flaws according to our sick standards in society - would they blossom, when they no longer struggled with their imperfections?
Would they find inner peace, if there no longer was anyone condemning them for their visible shortcomings?
Would we in fact be flawless if we no longer strived for external perfection.

Sometimes I wonder: What if we left all judgement to God where it belongs.
What if we stopped pretending that we have the answer.
What if we stopped lying. Playing games. With others and ourselves. Games of deceit.
Would we all win then?
The thing we want the most - to win. Would we win back life if we stopped playing the game.

What would this world be like.
If we all were naked - emotionally and in the same skin.

Would we dare more, evolve more as humans, connect with our inner call, because the outside was out of our control and mattered not?

Italian Vogue: Fat is beautiful

Yeah right.

That was my first reaction to Italian Vogue with the new June cover consisting of lingerie lounging curvy plus-sized women.
No doubt they look gorgeous and confident on this cover, however, usually this size would be described as obese in the fashion industry.

Well, then, if this is obese then I don't know why we are fighting the obesity epidemic - because quite frankly these chicks look pretty damn hot.

I always get this suspicious feeling when I read yet another headline stating that "they are now all for curves" in one of those skeleton high-fashion magazines; considering that the average runway model has a BMI of 16, and the size of their thighs resemble my right arm.

I mean, HELLO! Seriously, if you think Gisele is curvy, then I don't want to see skinny.

Really, what is this...
Is this fashion or sickness being exploited?

Voluptuous can be far more alluring than the stick straight waifs we’re so accustomed to seeing in magazines and on runways.

Many of the women who have a few extra kilos are especially beautiful and also more feminine.

Flipping through this issue is the cure for anyone who thinks curves are a curse.

While curves are hot, you still want to make sure that the type of fat in your body does not promote cellulite nor release of inflammatory producing cytokines.

The Nutrition Doctor can design your body according to your desires and lifestyle. Make an appointment today to get started with The Body Designer™

Knowing your weaknesses

What is the trait that you most deplore in others?

Think about it - because typically what we despise in others is our own dark side.

I.e. I couldn't care less about jealousy; likely because I don't have a jealous bone in my body (inasmuch as this is humanly possible anyway). However, I absolutely deplore pretension. The very scent of pretension just makes my hair stand up on my neck. Pretension comes in many forms. Pretending to be perfect. Pretending to be infallible. Pretending to be strong.

I used to be terrified of being weak; thinking that if people ever found out I had any sign of weakness/vulnerability within me, they would walk all over me and I would fall apart in a million pieces, never to be whole again. Well, newsflash: People will walk over you regardless, but only if you allow them to. And no, you will not fall apart. It may hurt, but time heals all wounds, and eventually you figure out, when people hurt you it is only because they are hurting; it has little to do with you.

Ironically, coming off as if you can't break, makes people want to see what your breaking point is even more. I guess it is part of human nature to be somewhat sadistic and to keep pushing the limits. If you don't set boundaries in life, then people can't respect them and won't know before they have already crossed the line. Pretending to be infallible is a recipe for a disaster, as you will none stop get attacked to prove you wrong.

Keeping it real: Connecting with your feelings...

The most obvious example being when we are kids: Those who bawl over everything and nothing get the most  attention. And those who bite the pain and never shed a tear get none. As much as I dislike drama and hypochondriacs, fact is that it is rarely those loudmouths that end up suicidal. It is always those quiet ones who cry in silence, never show their pain and thus never receive the love and care that every living creature needs in order to survive in this world. If you don't show your vulnerability, no one will know that you need nurture. You can't expect people to read your mind. And so you die - your pride ends up killing you. First emotionally dead and later... physically, however you decide to go about it before your time is up.You can change this unhealthy pattern. Risking vulnerability helps you remain sane - and yet, what prevents you from risking vulnerability is that you THINK you risk sanity. You need to remain sane enough to think rationally, and not rape everyone with your ever-changing feelings like another drama queen; yet it is key for your survival that you stay in tune with your feelings and show your needs. Otherwise no one can give you what you need in life. And bottom line is that makes everyone unhappy.

All humans have weakness - because without weakness their would be no strength, so pretending that you have none, is pretending that you are something you are not: Flawless.

The people who are often the most inspiring are those who dare be emotionally naked and show the scars that most of us hide behind our designer clothes.

If you risk nothing, then what is there really to admire? You are a scaredy cat: Hiding behind a shell, playing it safe. You are painting a pretty picture, but it is not real. It is an illusion that no one can connect with. You are guilty of adding more disconnectedness and loneliness into the world.

You think you are such a pro, because you are so careful in covering up your true self, that no one knows your fakeness? Everyone knows; except those dimwits who are also part of the same fame game. You can always sense pretentiousness from a far... it is not what you say; somehow people who disconnect from themselves have something about them that is so repelling in spite of the image they master to portray like an illusionist. But as anyone knows: Tricks are for kids. And it is so obvious for anyone not completely brainwashed by MTV that those who spend fortunes on designer clothes, hair salons, nails and what have you - always looking immaculate: Making sure that there is no outer sign of imperfection; they are seriously messed up on the inside. Otherwise they would not need to be so obsessed about perfecting their shell. This also explains why just about every celeb/model is either on drugs or suffering from borderline personality disorder. And more often than not: Both - and then some. That sort of narcissism brings sickness in its waters. Not a pretty sight.

You can't change what you don't know: Knowing your weaknesses enables you to prevent you from reaching your breaking point in all areas of life.

I often use a SWOT analysis to help design the life that my clients long for. This tool often used in business is valuable as it helps to identify strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats when organizing and mapping out how to achieve the goals you want in life.

You can download this tool here and email it back to us when making your appointment.

Attention Whore. Are You?

I have this friend who smiles. Like, a lot.

Marilyn knew the power of emotional pornography: 
Make people THINK you like them.
Unfortunately, faking your feelings and manipulating others 
do not lead to happiness;
she ended up the mistress and ending her miseries in an overdose. 
With a smile, I am sure.

I have often wondered why it is that she smiles at every joe that passes her way? It is certainly not based on her finding them attractive, more often than not she admits to finding them repulsive.
What drives these fake smiles, is that she so desperately wants to be liked. It has nothing to do with whether she likes someone or not. She just wants them to like her. And they do; or rather they like the fact that someone likes them (...). Both driven by vanity and insecurity they suffocate each other in smiles, niceties and hollow flattery only because they crave the attention, the affirmation that they are worthy of the attention. The only reason they compliment is to hear it back, the only reason why they smile, is to be smiled back at, the only reason they stay is to receive flattery. Words so empty and without meaning.
Their being nice is actually an act based on selfishness. NOT that there is anything wrong with being nice. You might as well add some hope to a world drowning in pain, and in many cases something like just being there, being present means everything. But motive is everything. You cannot hide your vain ego behind a shallow smile and old lines.
And there is nothing more distasteful than to witness someone lying through their teeth out of vanity.

And that is why I so firmly believe that the first step to getting the body of your dreams and gaining attractiveness, is to FEEL great in your own skin. Because a great body will follow.
And everyone deserves to feel comfortable in this skin.

Your face is just fine, but you'll have to put a bag over that personality.

Los Angeles is infamous for its not-yet-out-of high-school boob jobs and model/actress/waitress Barbie dolls.

New York is known for its fair share of Botox filled ladies-who-lunch-and-only-god-knows-what-else gold-diggers.

These godforsaken cities filled with man-made creations, gravity defying skyscrapers and the obsession with anti-aging, have such a draw to them that whatever goes on in the rest of the world, and however messed up their respective economies may be, they remain the capitals of the world. A weird love-hate relationship has always existed when it comes to New York and Los Angeles.

Either you love what they stand for or you absolutely hate it. There is no middle-ground. Everything is taken to extremes. That goes for the quest of ultimate bodily perfection as well.

So much time, money and energy is spent on perfecting what was perfect to start out with from the hands of our creator - quite frankly it is insulting. On so many levels.

Extreme measures, such as risking the dangers of liposuction with a body-fat% already below the thirties and Botox injected in girls in their twenties driven by vanity, insecurity and oftentimes a generous amount of self-hatred,  is not based on respecting your body; it is abusing your mind and soul and disconnecting from true meaning - losing yourself along the way.

And that always makes me want to say, “You know, your face is fine, but you’ll have to put a bag over that personality… because that is just one uglyass personality.”

Lights ON or Lights OFF?

Lights ON! Knowing what you got is hot.

Tacky? Why yes.
Let me rephrase: Are you comfortable in your own skin?
Because that is basically what it boils down to.
Being comfortable in your own skin seems for many to be a feeling long forgotten; left in the innocence of childhood, when our bodies only served as a vehicle for play.

In an attempt to regain that sensation of being complete many search for easy solutions... giving in to diet pills and the plastic surgeon's promise that he will make our lives bliss if we get that lift.

He can fix us. Make us perfect. Make us whole again.
Just take it off and lie down on his table. Inhale and when you wake up... your life will be complete.
Trust him.... after all, he is a doctor.

Broken promises soon to be... exchanging your Amex for a frozen empty stare. And your husband still has an affair.
So much pain. So many lies.
Is that all there is? You wonder.

Maybe you should have had that liposuction too - your ass has been heading south lately.
Vanity. It kills.

Being comfortable in your own skin has little to do with achieving perfection.
Being comfortable in your own skin comes from living a life of integrity. Being able to look yourself in the mirror. Knowing that every decision you make is based on the values you have in life. Now I am not saying that life is going to be easy, because it is not. Life is not easy. But the first thing, and most important thing you can do, before trying yet another gimmicky diet in your quest for long legs and amazing abs, is to treat yourself with respect and write down a clear-cut list of your values and beliefs in life. What are you passionate about? Where do you see yourself in two years from now? WHO do you want to be? What are the values that you want to represent? And then simply make sure that every decision is based on matching your values in life. When you know your values, everything else falls in to place, because your values serve as your inner compass when making decisions.

Don't get me wrong here: I am all for the beauty that life has to offer, but how you chose to get there makes for a very different outcome.
If your quest for long legs and skin-of-a-25-year-old is based on unhappiness and fear of loneliness you will find yourself very dissappointed after you leave the plastic surgeon's office.
He can't fix your belief system or screwed value set. Only you can.

I have yet to meet an attractive person who has been under the knife. Unhappiness and frozen gazes are not attractive. Accepting your imperfections (whatever that is compared to the latest airbrushed flavor of the month on the cover of VOGUE) is... hot.
Confidence is hot.
Knowing what you got and not is hot.
Not caring what other people think is hot.

You can't please everybody, so you might as well accept that this is the body God gave you and life is now. A funny thing happens when you stop focusing on fear and what you don't want in life: It vanishes. But first, you have to let go of fear. Until you do, you will be stuck; constantly attracting into your life what you are afraid of.

It takes courage, but that is the only way out: Accepting that nothing is perfect.
And THAT somehow just makes everything in your life perfect. Ironic, indeed.

How Much Does Happiness Cost...?

NB: Turn off the music in the right sidebar, before watching this clip.

This video for Calvin Klein Collections Spring 2011 intrigues me. 

What are they selling here? Emotions. The search for perfection... bliss... timelessness... eternal youth... love.... beauty.... all our basic needs will be met if we buy this product. That is, only if we have empty, shallow lives will we be tempted to give in to this kind of emotional pornography.

If you have found what is already within you... a sense of peace... calmness... the ability to taste a ripe fig... savoring the flavors.... watching the sun while it sets in the horizon.... being mesmerized by how the leaves change with the season. Just being able to be.... then you won't need what they are falsely selling here. Because what you need... everything is in you already... you have the power to change... a different life... one that is full and rich is within your grasp... waiting for you to take that first step....

You are not alone. Others have gone before you. Pain is universal, but you can turn your pain into beauty, wisdom and knowledge... but you have to take that first step to let go of self-destructive behaviors.

We can help you.

Contact us today.