Always be a first rate version of you.

One of the most important things in my daily routine is that I take time every morning to meditate - it connects me with who I AM and de-clutters my mind from all the constant ongoing bombarding from what society tells us we should want (to be, to have, to look like, to talk like etc. etc.).

As long as we try to be someone else - we will always be a second-rate version rather than a first rate version of who we are. 

We did not come here to be anyone else but exactly who we are - and our purpose is to embrace that so that we can give back and discover our full potential while carrying those we meet on our path through life's rocks.

We are all tigers when we listen to our core beings.

Yet the sheep all end up running off the cliff with the rest of the flock. 

I 

STRONG is the NEW skinny!

Get fingerlicking recipes for health a-z here.

How To Take Control of Your Health

Breaking The Habit of Being You.

Who Do You Ask For Health Advice?

You tend to mimic the behaviors, patterns and mindset of those you surround yourself with. If you are not where you want to be, and struggling with a mindset of insecurity and people telling you "it can't be done" - only a sorry excuse for not taking action in their own lives - whether it be weight loss, breaking an addiction, moving cross-country or getting out of a comfort-blanket relationship, or whatnot, then perhaps it's time to STOP reinforcing the negative self-talk by continuing to ask those of your friends for advice, who are STILL STUCK in the fear zone.
After-all, they will only accentuate your own fears, which is the last thing anyone needs in this world - more fear, abusive self-talk and a general I-will-take-no-action-but-just-complain-why-my-life-is-tougher-than-everyone-else's victim attitude.

Ask for advice - but don't necessarily take it. Rather observe and learn from those who walk the talk. Talk less, observe more... like animals in nature do. Simple, but it works.

COME ALIVE. Just do it.

Changing Habits.

Crashing waves, Big Sur, California 2012 from GypsyTales TM

"To believe in the things you can see and touch is no belief at all - but to believe in the unseen is a triumph and a blessing."

                             Abraham Lincoln, 1809-1865, Sixteenth President of the United States

To change your old patterns and manifest your dreams into reality you must nurture your ability to believe in things that have not yet come to be. Things that can be, and are in your mind, but that you physically cannot yet grab or see.

This is so important to understand when breaking bad habits or reaching for excellence in your life - whether it is a personal health issue, an addiction or a business venture you are looking at. You must dare to believe that you have everything within you to make physical, what is still only lingering as a hope and a fragile dream within. If you only believe in what you can see and what already is, you will simply tend to repeat past behaviors. 

To change anything, you must believe in things done differently, rather than focus on limitations and why it will not work out. Obstacles will always be, that does not make it impossible, it simply requires different actions than what you've done in the past to ensure a different outcome.

Believe. And all things are possible.

Who Do You Want To Be Today?

Fields of flowers, Venice, California June 2012 from Gypsy TalesTM

"We are all here for some special reason.
Stop being a prisoner of your past.
Become the architect of your future."

Robin Sharma

A matter of perception.

"If he's weak in the knees, let him not call the hill steep"

H. Thoreau

This is one of my favorite quotes - because it opens up for the possibility of growing stronger and understanding that while pain may be inevitable in life, suffering is optional. Life does not have to be one long treadmill where you eventually pass out from exhaustion; life does not have to hurt to the point of you needing sedatives.
You choose how long the blood flows from the cuts, that you get in life. We all get cuts in life - some self-inflicted and some brought on by others. Some of us choose to bleed to death, some of us choose to wrap a bandage around it and move on quickly, and yet some choose to cut even deeper, mesmerized by the vivid red streams that flow - what I call "the addiction to misery".

If you choose to let the blood flow to the point of you becoming a weakling; the hill is not steep, rather you have chosen to become weak. And that is a fact. There is more evidence in history of humans who have undergone and grown stronger from what seems like utterly inhumane conditions, than I have time to go through in this blog post. And it goes to show, that it is our mind which is the most difficult thing to overcome in life - it is the stories we tell ourselves, it is the legislations of why our self-destructive actions are OK.... even though we deep inside know they are hurting us. And that is why we typically respond to change with anger and resentment - because the truth hurts. It hurts to be told that we just need to take responsibility and step up to the plate. It hurts in the moment to accept and realize that all the suffering, we thought we had no control over. All the years of whining and complaining over others, well, it really boils down to just one person. And that is you. You change. And everything else does as well. Simple.

The longer you permit yourself to hurt and down-spiral in your misery, the further you step away from growing and being happy in the skin you are in. Happiness is not some abstract utopia. However, it is only attainable once we take responsibility for our actions in life, and realize that we, in fact, have the power to change the way we perceive and thereby deal with whatever obstacles we encounter in life. Nothing is impossible. It is a mindset. And the ability to change your mind is the most important factor of whether you will make it in this life or not - the ability to be flexible and listen, rather than just engage in a one-way monologue screaming tantrum on why your life is tough, and what you want/need/are entitled to and yadayadayada.

What we must understand as humans is that it is a choice each one of us makes, and thereby our answers to life's obstacles are never objective - what destroys one person, will be the very same thing that accelerates change and power from within another.

There is no suffering worse than other. Because suffering exits in the mind, it doesn't matter where it stems from - it really doesn't. There is, however, always a way out. When you are ready the path unfolds. But the first step out of darkness is always a leap into the unknown before light takes over.

One of the core truths in life is, there is none (manmade anyway...). Once we accept this, and that we, in fact, create our own destiny, and even though we may not like the cards we've been dealt, we can choose how to play them and thereby change the outcome of life... for better or worse.

The Importance of Washing Socks.

"The only certain means of success is to render more and better service than is expected of you, no matter what your task may be."

Og Mandino, 1923-1996 
Author of The Greatest Salesman In The World  

Have you ever noticed that really successful and happy people are not too snotty to pick up the broom, even if they may have assistants or be the CEO of the company? 

The key to understand what is holding you back in life is that, if you are driven by ego, vanity and constantly thinking, "OMG what are other people thinking of ME!" you'll get nowhere and you'll repel a lot of opportunities and people along your way, simply because people can sense your insecurities and fakeness. You cannot cover it up with makeup or Armani suits. It's a simple animalistic instinct that every human has; whether we are conscious of what we are picking up on or not. And that's why the most important thing you can do in life is to be authentic. To be you. Every door opens when you are true to you. It's a paradox in life, but it makes a lot of sense. The more we resort to hiding and faking it, the more we struggle with basic survival, and thus we cannot evolve, as our focus is caught up in negativity.

You are only able to get to the next level, if you are not afraid; if you are not defined by exterior motives and others' expectations - because that ultimately disconnects you with your core, and thus you will end up being trapped; constantly needing others' affirmation of what you are worth. What you are worth in the eye of the bystander will fluctuate every second; depending on their own self-worth and whatever they feel like that particular day - and thus will project onto you.

I have found the most attractive and successful people crossing my path in life to be those that do not need to define themselves by titles, nor what they do, or who they know... but who they are, by being there, being present... being. It is very powerful when someone does not need to namedrop or tell you their VIP title in attempt to demonstrate their power over you.

And that also translates into the fact that those same people, will never find themselves to be "too smart" or "too good" to take on a job in Starbucks if need be. Because their ego is not threatened by what others may think - and that means they are not trapped in a box of living up to false expectations, but can freely pursue their own goals that resonate with their core being in life.

If you cannot master life's small tasks and feel threatened by taking on mundane jobs, you will never be provided the opportunity to take on greater challenges. So throw out your ego and vanity and you will find great things come your way. That is the basic principle in life.

Anyway - I got a bunch of socks that need washing.

The Great Challenge of Life by Jim Rohn

"Here's the great challenge of life - You can have more than you've got because you can become more than you are.
I have found that income seldom will exceed your own personal development. Once in a while income takes a lucky jump, but unless you grow out to where it is, it will go back to where you are.
Somebody once said if you took all the money in the world and divided it among everyone equally; it would soon be back in the same pockets. However, you can have more because you can become more. You see, here is how the other side of the coin reads - unless you change how you are, you will always have what you've got.
The marketing plan won't do it. It's a good plan but it won't work without you. You've got to work it. It is the human effort that counts. If you could send a sales manual out to recruit - wouldn't that be lovely? The major thing that makes the difference is what YOU do.
In order to have more, you need to become more. The guy says "If I had a good job I would really pour it on, but I have this lousy job so I just goof off." If that is your philosophy, you are destined to stay there.
Some people say if I had a lot of money I would be really generous, but I don't have much so I'm not generous. See, you've got to change that philosophy or you will never have "the lots of money." Unless YOU change, IT won't change.
Amazingly, however, when we throw out our blame list and start becoming more ourselves - the difference is everything else will begin to change around us."

Jim Rohn
1930-2009, Author and Speaker

Ignite Your Fire.

"Just as a small fire is extinguished by the storm whereas a large fire is enhanced by it - likewise a weak faith is weakened by predicament and catastrophes 

whereas a strong faith is strengthened by them."

Viktor E. Frankl

1905-1997, Holocaust Survivor and Author of Man's Search for Meaning 

There is only one worse trait than people who have no passion; no zest for life... and that is, those who are lukewarm... you know, they are always just OK. They never get excited, nor do they ever hit rockbottom. It's like they're numb. Everything is just soso. It's like they are walking in a fog.
Like they are on standby waiting for some miracle to hit.

Waiting.
Always this waiting.

Waiting for what?

I can't deal with that.

Take action, make it happen... and feed your passion so that everyone can see the flames burning within you. Don't settle. Ever. 

Knowledge without action is a real killer.

Knowledge brings with it responsibility to walk the road you know you need to take. Everything else is hypocrisy. 

Streets of Washington - Powerhouse city.
From Gypsy Tales TM

Dreams of gold... Washington
From Gypsy TalesTM

The Hirshhorn, Washington
From Gypsy TalesTM

All those dreams at the bottom...
All those dreamers waiting for their dreams to come true...
 All those fragile whispers crushed by life....
Don't wait, just take back those pennies and make it happen!
From Gypsy TalesTM

Cool As A Cucumber.

"Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level."

Dr. Joyce Brothers

Psychologist and Television Personality

I'm a big believer in following your basic instinct; especially when risking solid ground it is crucial that you check in with yourself before making a decision, "how does this make me feel right now?" along with that I always go through in my mind the various outcomes and how that will make me feel afterwards. This makes it impossible to make a bad decision that morally goes against your core nature. Because you can't argue with your feelings.  And isn't that actually a relief in these days where everybody has something to say although little is said that really matters.

It is a very simple visualization exercise and it works. It is similar to as if you are scared of heights or spiders - you have to expose yourself over and over again, until you don't care anymore. Until you are fine whether it happens or not. This is especially crucial in matters where you are dealing with fear - i.e. fear of losing money, ego, or whatever. Once you have gone through the outcomes in your mind, you won't be caught by surprise, and you can actually prepare for the worst case scenario (emotionally and practically), so that should this happen, you can deal with it cool as a cucumber with limited damage and no need to self-medicate on destructive behaviors to numb out disappointment or regret.

It is very powerful, and it has enabled me to live a life of zero regrets... almost. Yes, there are a few things I'd probably have done differently in my life with regards to my interaction with certain people along my way. These bittersweet memories are all tied to a time where I was addicted to distractions and engaged in numbing behaviors; where I acted on impulses; never thinking twice about feelings, or scars that would occur... I was convinced that every trace could be erased; every hurt undone. But no, some memories last forever. It is what it is, and you just move on. Life is not that big of a deal. However, you always want to prevent leaving scars in other humans - because they may fade, but scars always remain scars... whether you are the victim or the cutter. They never quite vanish.

What do you call yourself? Why is it so important to you? Why do you need everyone to conform to your belief system, and if not you categorize them as ignorants because they differ from you?

Could it be that all this obsession with definitions, categories, boxes, systems - all of which are manmade - simply serve to promote aggression and keep our spiritual growth at bay, so that we forever get caught up in this vicious cycle of attacking one another. 

And in the end we are all the same. 

It makes no sense.

We are all traveling the same journey, we just choose different paths and travel with different speed.

Perhaps it is time to just let go of all this nonsense that only serves to further separate us and promote envy, bitterness and aggression in a world that is already overflowing with blood. 

Blood flowing from the cuts of man. 

The misconception of getting even.

So many times I hear this, "I need to get even with x, y and z to make things right, to feel better...". Really? You absolutely NEED to get even...? Why? Why do you think that you need to get even? Do you really think it will make you feel better to hurt someone just because they hurt you? Why do you think they hurt you in the first place? Because they are ALREADY hurting!
Who are you to decide the right amount of pain to inflict on someone else to make something right? Do you heal pain with pain? How do you make things "right" by hurting someone else?
That just doesn't make any logical sense. 

Every time you get even with someone, you step further away from happiness. 

Don't ever try to make "things right" by getting even; you only end up hurting yourself. 

Just let go and get over yourself. There are more important things to life.

"The only people you should get even with are those who have helped you."

Napoleon Hill 1883-1970, Author

La Jolla, SoCal June 2012 pictures from Gypsy TalesTM

Just do it.

Every morning do one thing that you find the most resistance to get done.

You'll be amazed how much energy and creativity is freed up after 28 days of doing this.

i have the willpower of a snail and that is EXACTLY why I have trained myself to do what I don't want to do first thing every day. 

The rest of the day is a cake.

Stop all the talking - get out there and DO IT!

No Strings Attached.

"The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way." 

Now that's just nonsense. Sorry Robert Kiyosaki, but it is.

A lot of us who are still somewhat stuck in the matrix end up mesmerized by motivational quotes as the one by Kiyosaki above. These quotes are so deviously misleading because they seem powerful on the surface, but only serve as a thin disguise to speed up on the treadmill of life. You abuse these quotes to go nowhere; until you surrender from exhaustion; hitting the wall; calling it midlife crisis; yet midlife crisis is nothing but the moment we realize we have been living a lie; we have been sucked up in this image that we are told we should fit into; living other people's fake lives. 

Being driven, passionate and having desire - those seemingly awesome values can be our very downfall if you fail to understand how to manage them.

So how do you manage desire without becoming greedy, needy and scared of failure? 
You don't.
You manage desire by letting it be there.
By not controlling it. By cutting any attachments to it.

What am I talking about? 
Well, it means that of course you should have that zest for life... be VIBRANT... come ALIVE... be PASSIONATE! BUT. You do not want to desire something so bad that you lose yourself. Because what happens is that you live in the future, you are tricking yourself into this illusion that when you get whatever it is you THINK that you desire, your life will be perfect.
You will finally be whole.
Lies, lies, lies.

Nothing or no one makes you whole or happy.
Either you are whole and happy or you are not. Fix it and move on. Don't make someone get involved in your unfixed business out of vanity and desperation, because they CAN'T fix you. It has nothing to do with love. Well, actually that's not true. It has a whole lot to do with love. A penetrating lack of love for yourself, and that's why you so desperately seek out things, people, botox, pints of ice cream and/or drugs to fill that void within you.

And sometimes someone comes along who may love you for who you are, in spite of what you are....
And they may see you hurting, but they still can't fix you.
And you will end up resenting them for not fixing you, because you are still stuck in your misery at the end of the day.

Disappointment only happens when we are attached to things, when we are controlled by our ego, when we are not whole yet.

This is a very tricky topic to explain fully, because it doesn't mean that you should not care about other people, or not want to go to the next level.

I'll be frank - I have a weakness for fast cars, stilettos and ocean views. But if I lose my money tomorrow, and what I do for a living suddenly provides zero income, even though I do love what I do for a living right now; it's fine. Really, I'll just start over and see what else comes along in life. I have no fears losing out, and that means that I can risk everything and take it to the next level because I'm not attached to fear and material values. Sure, it's nice to have. But that's it. I have lived without stuff before, and it doesn't really matter. It does not define who I am, what I am worth or capable of doing in this life.

The moment you let go of your ego's attachment, so that your self-worth is not defined by external factors, you can achieve everything because fear no longer controls you.
Remember that where focus goes, energy flows.

The truly amazing thing here is that that happens without struggle when you let go... when you cut the chains of attachment. And that is also the very moment you are - because and in spite of everything - able to commit to another human being, because you are not abusing them to fill you up - you are simply enhancing YOU.

And that's what life is all about when all is said and done: being the best version of you and sharing.
No regrets. No disappointments.
Just taking it to the next level.

And sometimes you may tumble and fall, but it's OK - it's not YOU, it does not compromise your self-worth; it does not lead to disappointment because it does not define YOU - and that enables you to keep trying: no strings attached!

Move on.

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.” 

― Tupac Shakur

I love this quote by Tupac - too much time is spent thinking about what to do and what could have been if we had done so and so instead of just letting go and moving on. 

We will all make a bunch of mistakes in this lifetime, so the key is not to get paralyzed by fear like a dear caught in headlights (which in itself can prove to be very difficult for anyone dealing with a perfectionistic personality), but rather accept whatever happened, forgive whatever needs to be - and then MOVE IT! And yes, I know what you're thinking - sometimes you feel sorry for yourself; you are hurting; sometimes you're the sorry victim. Victimmictimnictim.... remember that the act of forgiving simply means letting go; it does not mean that something is OK. I.e. abuse is never OK, it just means that whenever you forgive, you let go of emotional resentment; you need not hate or take revenge in order for destiny to be fulfilled; everyone has their reasons to act the way they do, and you can choose to participate in their game or not - that is YOUR choice! However, you are not god, and in no position to judge anyone, so letting go is the only way to find inner peace.

And the less you resort to judging others, the softer you will also be towards yourself, the more you will accept your own flaws. And accepting your flaws enables you to become whole. Your flaws lose their power over you.

They're just not that significant once you accept them. And therein lies the paradox:
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

It's a choice whether we are conscious about it or not. Whether we choose to take responsibility for it or not. Once we choose to take responsibility, we can mold our destiny the way we want it. We are no longer the victim.

And that brings bliss.


Let go, move on and... press play. 
Because life is too short not to play.
Remember pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Most people are other people.

Most people are other people's thoughts.

Most people live other people's lives.

Most people are walking dead.

Most people never COME ALIVE.

The fine art of Self-deception.

What's your truth?
The relationship you have with yourself
will determine every other relationship in your life.
Do you love yourself?
Are you honest with yourself?
Do you treat your body with respect?
Being true to yourself is the first step in healing.

I never lie. Never ever. Except to myself. Because... I don't really count. I mean, lying to yourself... it's not really lying-lying now is it. It's not like I'm hurting someone, or deliberately playing games with others. I'm an honest person. I'm a good person.

Is that what you tell yourself?

Allow me to be frank - no, not Sinatra. Although, I too have said something stupid. 

I've been there, done that. All too many times.

I can't stand people who lie, because you can smell it. You can sense it right away, when someone is not telling the truth. And the thing here is, it doesn't matter how innocent that lie may be - something just puts you off. 

Something doesn't feel right. 

Even if they just left out that they went to the library and, say, said they went shopping instead for some reason. This is none of my business, but unfortunately it builds up a wall around that person because we are nothing but mammals, and animals, as with human beings, can sense when something is not right. 

It doesn't matter what is said in words. 

It's a gut reaction, and it's also that same gut reaction that makes for attraction.

In my work with clients suffering from addictions, eating disorders and generally just needing to break the habit of whatever their self-destructive behavior may be, I've found the greatest challenge and most important factor that determines if someone is ready for change is, if they are willing to be honest with THEMSELVES. 

I don't care if they lie to me. 

They are hurting themselves a thousand times more than they could ever hurt me or any other human being by lying to themselves. There is nothing more painful than deceiving your authentic self, putting on a mask every day. Pretending. Trying to legislate your actions. Only because you know better; you just can't put it into action. Or so you feel. Those tricky, tricky feelings. The feeling that tomorrow... tomorrow you'll change your ways, tomorrow, just not today. And tomorrow never dies because tomorrow never arrives.

Are you guilty of this? 

Because if you are, no one on the planet of the earth can help you reach your peak performance in life til you decide to get real and accept your flaws and work with them instead of covering up.

In my work as a coach, I help people once they acknowledge their weaknesses, but if they pretend they have none, there is nothing I can do as a coach, unfortunately.

You have to get to that place of Willingness, Acceptance and Realization yourself, before you are ready to what I call WAR with your inner demons. 

Only then can another human being help you to get where you want to be in life. And it's also crucial that once you accept your weaknesses - once you get to that scary place of admitting you are not perfect - that you lean on another human being, because we are not meant to struggle alone. 

We are meant to support each other in growth.

Whether you are guilty of deceiving yourself is very simple to uncover. 

Simply consider this:

"Making a decision usually means taking one of two roads. One is doing the right thing. To take the other road, you have to sit back and spin a story around the decision or action you are taking. If you find yourself thinking up an elaborate justification for what you are doing, 

you are not doing the right thing."

Wayne Sales

Named the top Canadian CEO in Canadian Business magazine's 2005 All-Star list.