The fine art of Self-deception.

What's your truth?
The relationship you have with yourself
will determine every other relationship in your life.
Do you love yourself?
Are you honest with yourself?
Do you treat your body with respect?
Being true to yourself is the first step in healing.

I never lie. Never ever. Except to myself. Because... I don't really count. I mean, lying to yourself... it's not really lying-lying now is it. It's not like I'm hurting someone, or deliberately playing games with others. I'm an honest person. I'm a good person.

Is that what you tell yourself?

Allow me to be frank - no, not Sinatra. Although, I too have said something stupid. 

I've been there, done that. All too many times.

I can't stand people who lie, because you can smell it. You can sense it right away, when someone is not telling the truth. And the thing here is, it doesn't matter how innocent that lie may be - something just puts you off. 

Something doesn't feel right. 

Even if they just left out that they went to the library and, say, said they went shopping instead for some reason. This is none of my business, but unfortunately it builds up a wall around that person because we are nothing but mammals, and animals, as with human beings, can sense when something is not right. 

It doesn't matter what is said in words. 

It's a gut reaction, and it's also that same gut reaction that makes for attraction.

In my work with clients suffering from addictions, eating disorders and generally just needing to break the habit of whatever their self-destructive behavior may be, I've found the greatest challenge and most important factor that determines if someone is ready for change is, if they are willing to be honest with THEMSELVES. 

I don't care if they lie to me. 

They are hurting themselves a thousand times more than they could ever hurt me or any other human being by lying to themselves. There is nothing more painful than deceiving your authentic self, putting on a mask every day. Pretending. Trying to legislate your actions. Only because you know better; you just can't put it into action. Or so you feel. Those tricky, tricky feelings. The feeling that tomorrow... tomorrow you'll change your ways, tomorrow, just not today. And tomorrow never dies because tomorrow never arrives.

Are you guilty of this? 

Because if you are, no one on the planet of the earth can help you reach your peak performance in life til you decide to get real and accept your flaws and work with them instead of covering up.

In my work as a coach, I help people once they acknowledge their weaknesses, but if they pretend they have none, there is nothing I can do as a coach, unfortunately.

You have to get to that place of Willingness, Acceptance and Realization yourself, before you are ready to what I call WAR with your inner demons. 

Only then can another human being help you to get where you want to be in life. And it's also crucial that once you accept your weaknesses - once you get to that scary place of admitting you are not perfect - that you lean on another human being, because we are not meant to struggle alone. 

We are meant to support each other in growth.

Whether you are guilty of deceiving yourself is very simple to uncover. 

Simply consider this:

"Making a decision usually means taking one of two roads. One is doing the right thing. To take the other road, you have to sit back and spin a story around the decision or action you are taking. If you find yourself thinking up an elaborate justification for what you are doing, 

you are not doing the right thing."

Wayne Sales

Named the top Canadian CEO in Canadian Business magazine's 2005 All-Star list.