Knowing your weaknesses

What is the trait that you most deplore in others?

Think about it - because typically what we despise in others is our own dark side.

I.e. I couldn't care less about jealousy; likely because I don't have a jealous bone in my body (inasmuch as this is humanly possible anyway). However, I absolutely deplore pretension. The very scent of pretension just makes my hair stand up on my neck. Pretension comes in many forms. Pretending to be perfect. Pretending to be infallible. Pretending to be strong.

I used to be terrified of being weak; thinking that if people ever found out I had any sign of weakness/vulnerability within me, they would walk all over me and I would fall apart in a million pieces, never to be whole again. Well, newsflash: People will walk over you regardless, but only if you allow them to. And no, you will not fall apart. It may hurt, but time heals all wounds, and eventually you figure out, when people hurt you it is only because they are hurting; it has little to do with you.

Ironically, coming off as if you can't break, makes people want to see what your breaking point is even more. I guess it is part of human nature to be somewhat sadistic and to keep pushing the limits. If you don't set boundaries in life, then people can't respect them and won't know before they have already crossed the line. Pretending to be infallible is a recipe for a disaster, as you will none stop get attacked to prove you wrong.

Keeping it real: Connecting with your feelings...

The most obvious example being when we are kids: Those who bawl over everything and nothing get the most  attention. And those who bite the pain and never shed a tear get none. As much as I dislike drama and hypochondriacs, fact is that it is rarely those loudmouths that end up suicidal. It is always those quiet ones who cry in silence, never show their pain and thus never receive the love and care that every living creature needs in order to survive in this world. If you don't show your vulnerability, no one will know that you need nurture. You can't expect people to read your mind. And so you die - your pride ends up killing you. First emotionally dead and later... physically, however you decide to go about it before your time is up.You can change this unhealthy pattern. Risking vulnerability helps you remain sane - and yet, what prevents you from risking vulnerability is that you THINK you risk sanity. You need to remain sane enough to think rationally, and not rape everyone with your ever-changing feelings like another drama queen; yet it is key for your survival that you stay in tune with your feelings and show your needs. Otherwise no one can give you what you need in life. And bottom line is that makes everyone unhappy.

All humans have weakness - because without weakness their would be no strength, so pretending that you have none, is pretending that you are something you are not: Flawless.

The people who are often the most inspiring are those who dare be emotionally naked and show the scars that most of us hide behind our designer clothes.

If you risk nothing, then what is there really to admire? You are a scaredy cat: Hiding behind a shell, playing it safe. You are painting a pretty picture, but it is not real. It is an illusion that no one can connect with. You are guilty of adding more disconnectedness and loneliness into the world.

You think you are such a pro, because you are so careful in covering up your true self, that no one knows your fakeness? Everyone knows; except those dimwits who are also part of the same fame game. You can always sense pretentiousness from a far... it is not what you say; somehow people who disconnect from themselves have something about them that is so repelling in spite of the image they master to portray like an illusionist. But as anyone knows: Tricks are for kids. And it is so obvious for anyone not completely brainwashed by MTV that those who spend fortunes on designer clothes, hair salons, nails and what have you - always looking immaculate: Making sure that there is no outer sign of imperfection; they are seriously messed up on the inside. Otherwise they would not need to be so obsessed about perfecting their shell. This also explains why just about every celeb/model is either on drugs or suffering from borderline personality disorder. And more often than not: Both - and then some. That sort of narcissism brings sickness in its waters. Not a pretty sight.

You can't change what you don't know: Knowing your weaknesses enables you to prevent you from reaching your breaking point in all areas of life.

I often use a SWOT analysis to help design the life that my clients long for. This tool often used in business is valuable as it helps to identify strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats when organizing and mapping out how to achieve the goals you want in life.

You can download this tool here and email it back to us when making your appointment.