Want To Break That Addiction?

You don't HAVE to change.

I'm really stubborn if I feel like someone is trying to control me.

Christina Santini coaches health a-z incl. addictions
+ eating disorders in office in Los Angeles + Skype.

Like, I can't even control myself for crying out loud. So I've had to figure out a way to trick myself into doing what is essentially best for me without me getting all rebellious and whatnot. If I set some boundaries I can be sure that it is only a matter of time before every cell in me will itch to go beyond that line. Because I don't like rules. They feel so confining. Mind you, that is even those rules that I have chosen to set for myself because I know I should stick to them. I do like values - and I think integrity and living according to your core values is crucial.

This stubborn 5-year old mentality has led me to tap into how I can use intrinsic motivation to change. The only way I can change and motivate myself to implement better behaviors is to tap into WHY would I want to do this -- because I don't absolutely have to. I don't have to do anything absolutely, in fact. 

Yes, there are consequences if I don't - but then I am doing this because I WANT to, so I can avoid dealing with the consequences. That's valid. 

Do you get this? Because if we simply tell ourselves "well, you gotta stop eating burgers and fries, cos you're fat" - which is in fact, what most of us tell ourselves along with other nasty adjectives daily that we don't even notice because they're on autoplay, brainwashed by magazines, tv and peer pressure - we will get very resentful, focus on the negative and what we CAN'T do - and where focus goes energy flows. So sooner or later we will do what we are focusing on not to do.

Here's the thing, though, none of us like to be told what to do. We like to do stuff because it feels good from within our soul. We like to do stuff that nurtures our core values and resonates with who we are.

That is, when we know who we are.

And that's where the struggle lies for a lot of us: We have no clue who we are, we just know that we feel disconnected, and we have a void that we want to fill. With something and anything - so we try diets to fit into skinny jeans. 

When that gets boring, and we really... like... REALLY... want that double stuffed chocolate cake with a layer of whipped cream, then we decide we binge for a while. 

When that gets boring and our jeans don't fit anymore, we go to the bars and pick up guys, girls or both or many or whatever rocks our boat. 

When that gets old, we chase money. That can sometimes last a lifetime - always chasing something that we can complain about is the root to all our sorrows in life. When in fact we are just using it to project our inner dysfunction onto something external, and remove the weight of responsibility from our own shoulders. Nice, but not so nice - because when we don't carry the weight of responsibility, we can't change, we are stuck in status quo complaining aimlessly over everything and everyone but us. And this leads to resentment and bitterness in the end: We feel that we didn't get in life what we deserved. When, in fact, we didn't really even try. We didn't make the effort, we just hummed along in the herd making a lot of noise, but not really going anywhere, as we didn't want to venture out on new grounds. We just did the minimum of what (we thought) was expected of us to fit in and stuck to the rest of the flock. All humming along to the same old tune. That's the comfort zone. Unfortunately, the comfort zone is not very comfortable in the long run. 

It's a pretty dirty place in fact. 

The key to change is to ask yourself: Why might you want to change in the first place? And why is that reason important TO YOU? 

Remember no one absolutely has to do anything. We change because we want to. We change when we can't stop ourselves from reconnecting with our core values and calling in life. We change when we tap into that motivation within.

We change because we want to become a better person - only you know what that person looks like, feels like and acts like, in your skin.

So ask yourself one simple question: Why MIGHT you want to change?

And why is THAT reason important TO YOU?

Because you don't HAVE to.
No one absolutely has to do anything.
You too have been granted free will, you are not a passive victim being pushed around even if that's what you are telling yourself. You can always choose not to change. It's your decision. 

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How To Create New Habits

The biggest downfall when trying to break bad habits is to rely on willpower to carry you through the storms and emotional turmoil that comes with every change.

Simply because willpower is fragile and emotions change with the wind - it's only human to give into pleasure as we are hedonistic creatures baseline. That, however, does not mean that we should tolerate it. What we need to do in order to create the life that aligns with our core values, is to outsmart our tricky mind and create a strong fundament that will support us through change.

When working with any client who wants to change something in his/her life - whether it be breaking an addiction or simply dealing with the stress of life in healthier ways than emotional abuse and/or binging behaviors, I always start out with assessing what they are getting out of their current behaviors, and how we can create a substitute to avoid creating an empty, hollow void when abstaining from their previous "filler". This is CRUCIAL to understand. It is useless to abstain from behaviors without filling the void with something else.

Humans do not like emptiness and we will do anything and everything to avoid feeling that empty space - even create drama that is completely uncalled for. Simply because we get addicted to the feeling of fullness - even if that comes from misery. Also interesting that intense drama and misery actually results in a spike in our natural painkillers, beta-endorfines, kind of creating a natural high/numbness from life temporarily. This is why so many of us are addicted to whining and complaining instead of taking responsibility for our life choices and make a conscious choice to play the cards that we have been dealt differently to make for a different outcome.

Below is a sample of how I work with changing old behaviors and trading them for new ones that will rewire the pathways of pleasure trigger-points in your brain.

And after having worked consistently with this for typically a couple months, you will find that you can let go effortlessly of your old habits.

And you are now free of the chains of whatever was causing you to feel like a victim before.

Do not underestimate the power of small, simple steps - after all that is why staircases are so popular: many small steps lead to mountains of change.

Embrace the change - step into the wind.

Fill out below and put on your fridge as a daily reminder.

My keystone habit:_________________________
My current Cue:____________________________
My current Routine:_________________________
My current Reward:_________________________
My new Cue: ______________________________
My new Routine:___________________________
My new Reward:___________________________

Here is an example of what it could look like for someone:


My keystone habit: Emotional Eating
My current Cue: I turn on the TV and drop into the sofa (to eat).
My current Routine: I skip breakfast, I work overtime and come home and open the freezer to disconnect.
My current Reward: Letting go of control and feeling comforted.
My new Cue: I go straight into the bathtub after work.
My new Routine: Eating 3 square meals and take a swim in the ocean or simply a herbal bath when I get home from work to recharge.
My new Reward: I lower my stress levels, my body+mind gets stronger and I respect myself and my body without the crash and burn from abusing food.

What this simple exercise does is, that it creates for the ability to THINK before you react. And the more conscious you get, the easier it gets to let go of something that initially felt like it was hardwired into your brain. Initially you may still find yourself in the cookie cabinet after your herbal bath, but that's OK - the point is simply to delay the pattern of what you usually did out of habit - because THAT breaks the impulse slowly, but surely until you can effortlessly let go. This is the science of neuroplasticity in practice - how to retrain your brain to form new happy behaviors rather than living a life of deprivation and constant struggle with willpower.

The biggest obstacle is to let go of that black/white thinking where you expect perfection and that your new habits just happen overnight. What you want is to change whatever it is you get pleasure from, so that you naturally let go. This is so super powerful once you start applying it into your life. The thing is, most of us never do, and thus we never change. We tend to think of change, as something that is this big peak to climb, and we feel like we should be climbing it like running a marathon; so we give up before we ever started.

Christina Santini offers life coaching via skype
and in Los Angeles based office.
Read more here. 

Do not let your mind trick you into telling you, that you are not strong enough, not worth enough. Outsmart it by being OK with the process - the journey to change.

In the end, that is all that matters in life. Whether we take the journey, the steps... or we refuse to let go and hang on to that fragile branch hanging over the cliff, which will eventually break, and we will fall so very far.

Take a small step today. Just to show yourself, that today is different - and this will mark the rest of your journey. However slowly you move matters not. What matters is that you are no longer stagnant.

I AM.

I love the fall. It is my favorite time of year. The moment the wind picks up. The September sky changes into a richer shade of blue. The first howls of the season that reaches right through to your core. The first kisses of the wind against your exposed skin. The still burning bright sun-rays that warm your soul from within. The leaves changing. The mesmerizing contrasts of green, burning reds and bright, nourishing oranges.

So vividly alive, everything is changing. Once again, never to be the same. In this moment we let go of everything we don't need anymore. The hurt, the pain, the heartbreak, we simply dust off the cookie crumbs and move on. And with the wind of change we fly away. We grow stronger, wiser. With every breath we take, we refuse to look back. We walk on. We keep moving, crawling, running. It matters not how. We choose to embrace the change that the creator brings with the seasons as so within.

I love standing in the middle of the tall trees in the midst of the forrest in the autumn storms.
Listening to the sounds of silence, the wind howling my name, tearing me to pieces and putting me back together.
Never to be the same.

The feeling of how little I am in this big beautiful world that we have been handed over. I recognize how insignificant I am yet still how powerful every single one of us can be when we choose to stand our ground in this moment, calling in the one.

I can walk forever in the woods, just getting lost in translation, in colors, in the maze of life, letting go of all these small, useless things we think we need. And realizing that nothing really matters, yet everything does.
In that, there is bliss.

I love the fall. It is so alive, and never fears change. It is always solid yet never rigid. It always comes, yet always changes. There is comfort in the turmoil.

And it is the perfect time to embrace the change of the seasons with lots of steamy hot chai all cuddled up in soft blankets in front of the window late at night.
I love this time of year.

Good morning Green Goddess!

This is super delicious.

I am currently in a green-state-of-mind. I have stages where I embrace and wrap myself in specific colors that I seem to be drawn to - and right now it's lime-green.

So this fits the bill perfectly - and it's loaded with adaptogens and superpower foods to heal exhausted adrenals (which is what suffers when you are under stress - it's what produces cortisol in your body).

So this morning I am waking up to Carla Bruni...

Reading...

“Don't allow your mind to tell your heart what to do. The mind gives up easily.”
-Paulo Coelho, is an internationally acclaimed author best known for his book The Alchemist.


And licking my spoon clean with...

Green Goddess Elixir

• 1 scoop whey (serotonin boosting) 
• 1 tbsp. gelatinized maca (hormone balancing)
• 1/2 c. coconut cream (thyroid activating = fat-burn)
• 8 ice cubes
• 1 frozen banana (serotonin boosting)
• handful kale (immune boosting)

Blend 30 secs and top with raw cacao nibs.

It is SO yummy. Have a great Sunday.

Always be a first rate version of you.

One of the most important things in my daily routine is that I take time every morning to meditate - it connects me with who I AM and de-clutters my mind from all the constant ongoing bombarding from what society tells us we should want (to be, to have, to look like, to talk like etc. etc.).

As long as we try to be someone else - we will always be a second-rate version rather than a first rate version of who we are. 

We did not come here to be anyone else but exactly who we are - and our purpose is to embrace that so that we can give back and discover our full potential while carrying those we meet on our path through life's rocks.

We are all tigers when we listen to our core beings.

Yet the sheep all end up running off the cliff with the rest of the flock. 

I