In New York you do a lot of people watching. And people bumping. And something that rhymes on bumping. And people cursing. And people pleasing. And people hating. Just because there are people everywhere.
And a great place to watch people is in the metro. And it struck me: How many traces of bitterness on the faces... sitting there everywhere.
Bitterness is such an odd, unfamiliar feeling to me... it seems like such a waste of time, emotion and suffering to use on bitterness. Because nothing good ever comes from bitterness - it is like a dark shadow that sneaks up on you and suffocates you; while you try to drag everyone around you down with you.
And what is the point in that? That way everyone suffers and the only thing that is certain is that nothing constructive will arise from that feeling.
Yet it seems as if this is one of the top 5 most common feelings that humans allow into their life.
I was talking with a friend of mine whom had just been dumped. And she was extremely bitter. While it is understandable that it is painful; it's life. It has nothing to do with her per se. It does not make her of any lesser value. They were just not the right match, and perhaps he just realized it before she did. And so you move on. You cry. You accept it. And move on. No regrets, because there was a time where that may have been exactly what you were looking for - at that time, at that place in your life. It may have helped you develop some skills. However, things change, and you must be flexible to adapt. Don't look back.
And then I thought to myself, how come I don't feel bitter when people hurt me? Because I definitely feel hurt. And as most of Italian descent, I can get very angry a bit quick at times. But that's it - it never turns into bitterness. But that is only because whenever I have tried to suppress my anger, I notice right away that it turns into resentment - and that is one emotion that I can't afford in my life, because I simply cannot be creative and passionate, if I allow this feeling into my life. It is like giving up control of your life and accepting victimization. Thus, I must confront whatever the issue is that causes me to feel anger, before it turns into something toxic.
You have to first understand what initially triggers this feeling to prevent it from penetrating your life.
Typically you will get angry - and anger always occurs when we fear losing something - whether it be our ego or a physical thing. We can then either choose to deal with that anger and handle that conflict and move on; not turning back. Or, we can suppress our anger and avoid confronting the conflict.
This is where all of our internal alarm clocks should go off: Because this leads to a slow build-up of negative, unresolved emotions within us. What we resist, persists. So we become resentful. And as time goes by that resentment evolves into bitterness... and bitterness is very difficult to get out of your life once you have allowed that chain-reaction of thoughts and feelings to take place and infect your life.
Identifying your triggers in life and learning to deal with anger, instead of suppressing your feelings and letting it eat you up from inside, sets you free emotionally.
Cry. Scream. Yell if you must. Get it out of your system - find you coping mechanism.
But don't turn around. No regrets.
And a great place to watch people is in the metro. And it struck me: How many traces of bitterness on the faces... sitting there everywhere.
Bitterness is such an odd, unfamiliar feeling to me... it seems like such a waste of time, emotion and suffering to use on bitterness. Because nothing good ever comes from bitterness - it is like a dark shadow that sneaks up on you and suffocates you; while you try to drag everyone around you down with you.
And what is the point in that? That way everyone suffers and the only thing that is certain is that nothing constructive will arise from that feeling.
Yet it seems as if this is one of the top 5 most common feelings that humans allow into their life.
I was talking with a friend of mine whom had just been dumped. And she was extremely bitter. While it is understandable that it is painful; it's life. It has nothing to do with her per se. It does not make her of any lesser value. They were just not the right match, and perhaps he just realized it before she did. And so you move on. You cry. You accept it. And move on. No regrets, because there was a time where that may have been exactly what you were looking for - at that time, at that place in your life. It may have helped you develop some skills. However, things change, and you must be flexible to adapt. Don't look back.
And then I thought to myself, how come I don't feel bitter when people hurt me? Because I definitely feel hurt. And as most of Italian descent, I can get very angry a bit quick at times. But that's it - it never turns into bitterness. But that is only because whenever I have tried to suppress my anger, I notice right away that it turns into resentment - and that is one emotion that I can't afford in my life, because I simply cannot be creative and passionate, if I allow this feeling into my life. It is like giving up control of your life and accepting victimization. Thus, I must confront whatever the issue is that causes me to feel anger, before it turns into something toxic.
You have to first understand what initially triggers this feeling to prevent it from penetrating your life.
This is where all of our internal alarm clocks should go off: Because this leads to a slow build-up of negative, unresolved emotions within us. What we resist, persists. So we become resentful. And as time goes by that resentment evolves into bitterness... and bitterness is very difficult to get out of your life once you have allowed that chain-reaction of thoughts and feelings to take place and infect your life.
Identifying your triggers in life and learning to deal with anger, instead of suppressing your feelings and letting it eat you up from inside, sets you free emotionally.
Cry. Scream. Yell if you must. Get it out of your system - find you coping mechanism.
But don't turn around. No regrets.
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