God, please make life easier for me.

No.

How many times have we not wanted life a little easier, a little bit more like a fairy tale, a little less painful, a little more tylenol.

How many times have we not in our hearts late at night prayed that one day, someday, some way, when we wake and open our eyes with the first ray of morning light streaming through the cracks in the window, that all our fears, our sorrows -would all be gone. Gone with the darkness of the night.

What do we think would happen if our prayers were answered accordingly?
How fragile would we not be, never able to tackle the lightest branches brushing against us, falling to our knees with the first autumn breeze. How weak in this skin would we not be, if we never had to face our fears, if we never had to grow through pressure. Like a muscle dissolves with no resistance, so do we.

Many of us have not learnt how to handle pain - especially emotional pain. We are so emotionally disconnected, that we are like an electrical wire vibrating with every stimulation, not able to relief the sensation. And all this ongoing stimulation that we accumulate leads to an electrical short-circuit. When our brain fails to recharge and our emotions feel like needles on the skin, this makes us vulnerable to addictions and other numbefying behaviors, because we have not learnt to handle pain. We simply have no pain tolerance. Not being able to handle pain, kills us. Pain will leave us if we let it. And next time it comes looking for us, we  have thicker skin to deal with the cuts.

Never pray for less pressure, pray to become better, stronger and wiser. Pray to know what to pray for.
Pray for love. In the end nothing else ever mattered.

Breaking patterns, habits and ceilings.

I love this. Breaking habits. Breaking patterns. Breaking blocks. Breaking points. Breaking addictions. Breaking chains. Breaking confinements. Breaking the ceiling. To become what we already are. By breaking through the walls of glass we have created ourselves. So we can walk right over the shattered glass beneath our feet, no longer confining, defining us. No longer able to scar us. It is beneath us.

By Grace I Am Saved.

If you haven't been sleeping under a rock lately, you will no doubt have noted how it's become ever so trendy to conform to LOVE and spiritual awakening and embrace that we are all god and that if you just put up some goals on a transformation board then the universe will hand it over to you. Just like any spoiled brat, we sit there and feel like we deserve this and that and here and now, and more and more.

And throw in some vegan cupcakes on top of that and you have LA.

I want to share my thoughts on this, because I believe that what we embrace as awakening as a form of love for all and tolerance for everything and everyone can pave the way for more darkness  - like a wolf wrapped in sheep's clothing.

Love is not tolerance for all. Love is not acceptance of everything.
Love is confrontation when something is not right. And we as humans have a very narrow mind and do not see clearly what is good and what is bad. If the truth is subjective, then we can spend into eternity discussing every case - because some of us will always be able to argue for why a certain behavior actually stems from love.

Love is not tolerance - ignorance is tolerance of everything, and when we tolerate everything, we stand for nothing. Love stands for something, love can be unconditional, yet it is still confrontational. Love is not acceptance of everything - and deep down we know, because that feeling of guilt we get, where do you think that comes from? Guilt simply does not make sense without a wrong and a right. Guilt does not make sense without a God.

The fact is, if you talk long enough with anyone who is embracing many of these spiritual concepts that are going rampant, you'll notice a deep profound longing to be whole again. And that their behaviors do not match that of a loving being - rather that of a deeply narcissistic being, trying to find fulfilment within themselves - in vain. It's not news that many yogis and gurus go absolutely bonkers, and go off on sexual escapades, as they cannot control the energy that is released within them during their practice, and they are still very much a slave to hedonism.

The paradox being that these are the exact same teachers, that we take advice from on how to become more mindful. People who proclaim that god is within us, and we are all we need.

This is absolutely crap. No one has ever found healing in their own solitude. Rather they go out of their mind with insanity, drugs (and yes, mushrooms count too), fanatical religious eating behaviors etc. All while proclaiming that love is everywhere, and god is in the stones and you and me, but please - let's not refer to the bible or pray, because that might offend someone, so let's just without names, thank whatever it is we believe in - let's pray to the rocks who cannot feel, the rain who cannot answer - but let's keep god out of this.

If I were God, I'd get pretty offended. As in: what, here we are thanking the sun and the trees and the bees and thanking you and thanking me - for what, I really don't know. It's not like we created anything - most of us have messed up so much, that we need grace and we need to let go of our attachment to our obsession with what we are so that we can follow our calling in life.

We are not god -  we are anything but. Fact is, we are only saved by grace.

And we are alone until we find God - that's why the God void within us was created in the first place. Certainly not so that we can dance around high on mushrooms and pretend that we are God and perfect beings. Actions speak louder than words - and if we were perfect beings, we would have a clean record. I don't know about you, but I have a lot of grace to accept in my life - and I could not stand on my own, that I know.

The feeling of being alone, even when we are in a committed relationship, have kids etc. only exist when we have not accepted God into our lives.

Because we are all alone without God - and through his Grace we are, indeed, saved.
And thank God for that.

I am certainly not thanking Tony Robbins, Buddha or Bank of America for that, just saying. Even though I am sure they are caring organizations, they don't know me nor you. And they can't do anything after darkness falls.

Want To Break That Addiction?

You don't HAVE to change.

I'm really stubborn if I feel like someone is trying to control me.

Christina Santini coaches health a-z incl. addictions
+ eating disorders in office in Los Angeles + Skype.

Like, I can't even control myself for crying out loud. So I've had to figure out a way to trick myself into doing what is essentially best for me without me getting all rebellious and whatnot. If I set some boundaries I can be sure that it is only a matter of time before every cell in me will itch to go beyond that line. Because I don't like rules. They feel so confining. Mind you, that is even those rules that I have chosen to set for myself because I know I should stick to them. I do like values - and I think integrity and living according to your core values is crucial.

This stubborn 5-year old mentality has led me to tap into how I can use intrinsic motivation to change. The only way I can change and motivate myself to implement better behaviors is to tap into WHY would I want to do this -- because I don't absolutely have to. I don't have to do anything absolutely, in fact. 

Yes, there are consequences if I don't - but then I am doing this because I WANT to, so I can avoid dealing with the consequences. That's valid. 

Do you get this? Because if we simply tell ourselves "well, you gotta stop eating burgers and fries, cos you're fat" - which is in fact, what most of us tell ourselves along with other nasty adjectives daily that we don't even notice because they're on autoplay, brainwashed by magazines, tv and peer pressure - we will get very resentful, focus on the negative and what we CAN'T do - and where focus goes energy flows. So sooner or later we will do what we are focusing on not to do.

Here's the thing, though, none of us like to be told what to do. We like to do stuff because it feels good from within our soul. We like to do stuff that nurtures our core values and resonates with who we are.

That is, when we know who we are.

And that's where the struggle lies for a lot of us: We have no clue who we are, we just know that we feel disconnected, and we have a void that we want to fill. With something and anything - so we try diets to fit into skinny jeans. 

When that gets boring, and we really... like... REALLY... want that double stuffed chocolate cake with a layer of whipped cream, then we decide we binge for a while. 

When that gets boring and our jeans don't fit anymore, we go to the bars and pick up guys, girls or both or many or whatever rocks our boat. 

When that gets old, we chase money. That can sometimes last a lifetime - always chasing something that we can complain about is the root to all our sorrows in life. When in fact we are just using it to project our inner dysfunction onto something external, and remove the weight of responsibility from our own shoulders. Nice, but not so nice - because when we don't carry the weight of responsibility, we can't change, we are stuck in status quo complaining aimlessly over everything and everyone but us. And this leads to resentment and bitterness in the end: We feel that we didn't get in life what we deserved. When, in fact, we didn't really even try. We didn't make the effort, we just hummed along in the herd making a lot of noise, but not really going anywhere, as we didn't want to venture out on new grounds. We just did the minimum of what (we thought) was expected of us to fit in and stuck to the rest of the flock. All humming along to the same old tune. That's the comfort zone. Unfortunately, the comfort zone is not very comfortable in the long run. 

It's a pretty dirty place in fact. 

The key to change is to ask yourself: Why might you want to change in the first place? And why is that reason important TO YOU? 

Remember no one absolutely has to do anything. We change because we want to. We change when we can't stop ourselves from reconnecting with our core values and calling in life. We change when we tap into that motivation within.

We change because we want to become a better person - only you know what that person looks like, feels like and acts like, in your skin.

So ask yourself one simple question: Why MIGHT you want to change?

And why is THAT reason important TO YOU?

Because you don't HAVE to.
No one absolutely has to do anything.
You too have been granted free will, you are not a passive victim being pushed around even if that's what you are telling yourself. You can always choose not to change. It's your decision. 

How To Create New Habits

The biggest downfall when trying to break bad habits is to rely on willpower to carry you through the storms and emotional turmoil that comes with every change.

Simply because willpower is fragile and emotions change with the wind - it's only human to give into pleasure as we are hedonistic creatures baseline. That, however, does not mean that we should tolerate it. What we need to do in order to create the life that aligns with our core values, is to outsmart our tricky mind and create a strong fundament that will support us through change.

When working with any client who wants to change something in his/her life - whether it be breaking an addiction or simply dealing with the stress of life in healthier ways than emotional abuse and/or binging behaviors, I always start out with assessing what they are getting out of their current behaviors, and how we can create a substitute to avoid creating an empty, hollow void when abstaining from their previous "filler". This is CRUCIAL to understand. It is useless to abstain from behaviors without filling the void with something else.

Humans do not like emptiness and we will do anything and everything to avoid feeling that empty space - even create drama that is completely uncalled for. Simply because we get addicted to the feeling of fullness - even if that comes from misery. Also interesting that intense drama and misery actually results in a spike in our natural painkillers, beta-endorfines, kind of creating a natural high/numbness from life temporarily. This is why so many of us are addicted to whining and complaining instead of taking responsibility for our life choices and make a conscious choice to play the cards that we have been dealt differently to make for a different outcome.

Below is a sample of how I work with changing old behaviors and trading them for new ones that will rewire the pathways of pleasure trigger-points in your brain.

And after having worked consistently with this for typically a couple months, you will find that you can let go effortlessly of your old habits.

And you are now free of the chains of whatever was causing you to feel like a victim before.

Do not underestimate the power of small, simple steps - after all that is why staircases are so popular: many small steps lead to mountains of change.

Embrace the change - step into the wind.

Fill out below and put on your fridge as a daily reminder.

My keystone habit:_________________________
My current Cue:____________________________
My current Routine:_________________________
My current Reward:_________________________
My new Cue: ______________________________
My new Routine:___________________________
My new Reward:___________________________

Here is an example of what it could look like for someone:


My keystone habit: Emotional Eating
My current Cue: I turn on the TV and drop into the sofa (to eat).
My current Routine: I skip breakfast, I work overtime and come home and open the freezer to disconnect.
My current Reward: Letting go of control and feeling comforted.
My new Cue: I go straight into the bathtub after work.
My new Routine: Eating 3 square meals and take a swim in the ocean or simply a herbal bath when I get home from work to recharge.
My new Reward: I lower my stress levels, my body+mind gets stronger and I respect myself and my body without the crash and burn from abusing food.

What this simple exercise does is, that it creates for the ability to THINK before you react. And the more conscious you get, the easier it gets to let go of something that initially felt like it was hardwired into your brain. Initially you may still find yourself in the cookie cabinet after your herbal bath, but that's OK - the point is simply to delay the pattern of what you usually did out of habit - because THAT breaks the impulse slowly, but surely until you can effortlessly let go. This is the science of neuroplasticity in practice - how to retrain your brain to form new happy behaviors rather than living a life of deprivation and constant struggle with willpower.

The biggest obstacle is to let go of that black/white thinking where you expect perfection and that your new habits just happen overnight. What you want is to change whatever it is you get pleasure from, so that you naturally let go. This is so super powerful once you start applying it into your life. The thing is, most of us never do, and thus we never change. We tend to think of change, as something that is this big peak to climb, and we feel like we should be climbing it like running a marathon; so we give up before we ever started.

Christina Santini offers life coaching via skype
and in Los Angeles based office.
Read more here. 

Do not let your mind trick you into telling you, that you are not strong enough, not worth enough. Outsmart it by being OK with the process - the journey to change.

In the end, that is all that matters in life. Whether we take the journey, the steps... or we refuse to let go and hang on to that fragile branch hanging over the cliff, which will eventually break, and we will fall so very far.

Take a small step today. Just to show yourself, that today is different - and this will mark the rest of your journey. However slowly you move matters not. What matters is that you are no longer stagnant.

What's YOUR relationship with FOOD?

Eating takes us to the CORE of who we are - what we believe we are worth and can achieve in this life. Don't underestimate the importance of the way you eat with the way you carry yourself in life and the results you get elsewhere. How you act in one area transcends to every area of your life - are you present when you eat? Do you listen to people when they talk to you - or are you eating over your laptop and pulling out your iphone whenever at a social setting, stuffing yourself with chips or counting the calories that pass your lips and believe you need to burn off bad calories at the gym.
That is not normal behavior, regardless of how accepted it is in our instant-gratification and vanity driven society. Healthy is not the woman in the gym with the perfect body, who eats the perfect raw vegan or whatever diet. The woman on the treadmill who controls every morsel passing her lips, posting pictures of her abs on instagram and facebook - living in misery. There is no pleasure, and yet our society is praising for that type of behavior - woman and man alike. And it is NOT healthy. These behaviors do NOT make you happy. They make you controlling, restrictive and moody. And yes, this affects your intimacy level and close relationships as well.

Success is being happy, vibrant and well-nourished activating our potential in life regardless of what we look like - it's time to let go of that shallow judgment we all do when we decide whether someone is healthy and successful - because most people with perfect abs are NOT happy - they're controlling and restrictive and severely insecure. We must stop this insanity. We cannot move forward if all our time is spent talking about weight loss and measuring our fat percentages - it has got to stop.

Are you overriding your hunger cues; did your relationship fall to pieces because you didn't listen and pick up the signals that started months, years before? Same baseline qualities manifesting in different ways in life.

If you enjoy food - savor the bites, the flavors of life, usually you will find your connections to humans also deepen, because you have trained yourself to be present and pick up subtle signals in the moment, before they turn into red flags (overeating/restricting/relationship break-ups/etc. etc.).

Our eating is connected to our intimacy, love, money, our values and what we believe life is. That's why HOW you eat is equally important to WHAT you eat. Eating is connected to a primary domain of life... changing your eating, changes your life on a much more profound level than getting healthy, looking good etc. etc.

Do you get how important this is? Changing your relationship with food will TRANSFORM your LIFE!

The online conference for eating psychology is running online right now  - check it out here, it's great stuff.

In this skin.

I was thinking of something the other day while digging my feet in the still-warm-sand watching the last rays of the sun scatter across the ocean.

I was thinking, why. Why are so many people struggling with just being human - in this skin. Why can we not just embrace being in this skin - alive and well. And yet, everyone is fighting their own battle regardless of how picture perfect it may look from the outside. Regardless - and in spite of, and sometimes indeed because of - everything they have been given, that's been handed to them on a silver plate.

And it's not very difficult to answer. It's just sometimes it is so very easy to forget.

We don't grow if we do not struggle. And the whole point of being in this skin is to develop character - to grow. On a wider scale - every culture who has chosen to embrace hedonism and the easy life has been struck by nemesis. And the fundament they built their empire on has been made by sticks that the wind could easily blow to pieces. Resilience is like a muscle we develop through trying again and again and again and again and again. And yet again. And when we crawl through mud and think we are sinking, that is when we must pull ourselves up - that is the turning point where we change, where we grow stronger, wiser and compassionate. That is the moment where we do not care of the reflection in the mirror, because we have faced our inner demons - we know exactly what we are made of.

This is the only muscle that matters in life - developing resilience enables us to overcome our own weaknesses, to have compassion for others who need help and to burn our ego and vanity, because we are not giving into the pressure of a toxic environment to live up to a certain set of fake and hollow standards that are morally corrupted and will slowly eat us up from the inside. Ultimately leading to our own destruction - whether we turn to drugs, foods, relationships or what not, in attempt to numb the pain of disconnecting from our core self.

We must never give up. We must always grow... however slowly, that is the only way.

Your Brain On Sugar - the legal coke?

The reason we love the sweet, fatty ice cream is due to the spike in beta-endorfines - acting like natural painkillers. The very picture of this food invokes a dopamine response, so that the addictive anticipation of the high already starts when flipping through the cook book, looking at the commercial, or passing by the ice cream shop.

You can, however, rebalance your brain chemistry so that your addictive response is not out of your control anymore.

All you need is to be strongwilled - just say no. Saying no doesn't work when you are fighting an imbalanced brain chemistry - it is like driving a car without brakes; you just can't stop (the craving).

Watch Dr. Nora Volkow explain the biology of food addiction vs. drug addiction on CBS 60 minutes.

Skinny Vanilla Latte Linked to Stroke. Oh, and obesity, cancer, binge eating, palpitations and drug-relapse.

The main issue I have with aspartame is its ability to alter serotonin level and thereby affect everything involved in a balanced mind-body connection - heart rhythm, anger outbursts, insomnia, cravings for drugs, carbs etc. Why I drink my latte with full fat raw milk, pure cream (low casein a1 and lactose) or simply a nut milk; preferably cashew milk. And that's it. If you must have the sweet fix to mask the delectable taste of roasted coffee beans.. which is beyond me... then go for plain, real sugar; your body and brain knows that stuff on a biochemical level and can burn it off. End of story, no permanent damage done. Don't be fooled by the zero calorie count on the nutrasweet pack. It's brain garbage.

Reference: Drug Chem Toxicol. Epub 2012 Mar 2.
Long-term consumption of aspartame and brain antioxidant defense status.
Abhilash M, Sauganth Paul MV, Varghese MV, Nair RH.

The Power of Vulnerability.

Many of us are so scared of rejection... of being vulnerable.... that we choose to numb vulnerability. When we "numb" vulnerability, we also numb our ability to feel happiness, joy.... we are simply numb. Numb as in we are the most addicted, obese, in debt and "certain" generation in US history. Certain as in addicted to boxes... vegans, dems, reps, doctor titles etc. etc. There is no discourse in politics anymore; it's just I'm right, you're wrong. Shut up. That's fear manifesting itself into aggression.

Never forget that your very weaknesses are what will turn in to be your greatest strengths and pull you away from mediocricy... but you most first DARE to be weak... to be you... no veil... no more coverups and pretensions... just the naked you.

Check out this GREAT TedTalk by Brene Brown that I stumbled upon while attending the annual TedxSocal, Longbeach, "Alchemy of Transformation" that just wrapped up today (an awesome event btw!).

According to New DSM-5 Criteria: YOU're An Addict!

Well, more likely than not the new criteria will open up for future inclusion of disorders that were previously diagnosed as impulse control disorders rather than actual addictions. However, fact remains that a lot of those behaviors, prescription meds and chemicals added to foods these days directly stimulate our dopaminergic neurotransmitter system which is one of the key pathways in your reward system activated by drugs such as coke, speed, meth etc.

And another interesting aspect is that internet, texting etc. stimulate dopamine boosts as well - making for a generation that is used to instant gratification and has a super vulnerable brain chemistry for hard-core drugs; or simply a chronic need for stimulation that goes hand in hand with a low tolerance to pain (emotionally and physically). This makes for the perfect "binge" generation that constantly seek out distractions they can numb out in to avoid feelings (sex, cutting, shopping, drugs, food, gambling, texting, online stimuli, stealing, lying, gaming, hysteria and rage tantrums etc. etc.). And because everyone these days are doing something to manage the everyday pain of life, when you are not content in the skin you are in and the life that YOU ultimately have chosen to live... we have indeed become a nation of addicts - as I see it.

Because everyone's an addict does not make it right - it's a problem, and it's growing as both our environment, food and norms are supporting various addictions that overlap.

Look, I know what you're thinking "Oh come on now! Give me a break! No one's perfect!" That's not the point. The point is, there is a very...very... fine line before something, that we trick ourselves into thinking that we are in control of, gets in control of us. And if you can't go even a week without your drug/behavior of choice, without throwing fits of rage or crying over everything and nothing, there is a problem that is not going to disappear on its own.

Once you stop engaging in your distractions, you'll realize how you really feel about your life... and that is not always pretty.

When you are not happy in the skin you are in without numbing yourself out; it's only a matter of time before you will find yourself controlled by behaviors or substances... where every decision you make depends on whether you will be able to ultimately get your fix... so you only see your friends during "happy hour"... cos if it's not happy hour, you're not happy. Don't get me wrong: I love my Amarone too! But there's a huge difference between "nice to have" and "need to have". And "need to have" is never nice.

And on a side note - Sylvester Stallone's son, Sage, has just been found dead in his LA apartment. Make no mistake: Addiction will kill you - it is a slow suicide. And sometimes, not so slow. You can get the latest details on this on TMZ.



"The fact that binge drinking is so pervasive among college students and other young people indicates not that it is the norm, and therefore OK (not a problem), but that it is a very big problem indeed. Arguing otherwise is like saying that since so many Americans are obese, it needn’t be addressed because it is a cultural norm."

- The Fix

Read more about the controversy about the new diagnosing criteria to be included in the DSM 5 here.

Settling for the picture perfect life.

I love this music video by Kimbra - everything we THINK we need in this life, only adds to misery as we spin our slippery webs, luring others in by the shimmery shallowness, only to trap them in an attempt to fill the void that is within us; that only we ourselves can fill... or rather through our faith in Him. Yes, I'll be quite frank here... I have yet to meet an atheist who is wholesome... where there is not a sense of despair in the air; not to say that believers are saved people of any sorts - there are bad seeds everywhere.

Still, it is puzzling to me how humans will believe in anything and everything but God. And even more discombobulating that some people will get downright angry if you admit to being a follower of Him. And there is something deeply disturbing in that it seems more "trendy" to speak about God as the divine in the treetops or celebrate some holy stones as a divine being of sorts. Or believe in scientology, horoscopes, stars, aliens, mars men.... christalmighty, the list goes on of what people find more acceptable and "trendy" to believe in rather than God of which there is so much evidence both in writing and actual parts from buildings and ships that goes to confirm what is written in the Bible.

Well, this was all a side note - I won't bore you guys with more of my personal faith, although it has been a saving grace for me - as for all humanity, I'm tempted to say. And thank god that He does not lower his standards to a pop culture. So no - I won't be "getting with the times" and the evergrowing newage faith tribes promoting tolerance, love and whatnot; yet ever so judgmental if you do not follow their manmade rules on vegan dieting and whatnot (...). Quite the hypocrisy. These manmade rules do not match the circle of life nor nature's path. Going to one extreme does not outweigh the other end... the solution to the abuse occurring everywhere today - whether it be towards factory farmed animals or domestic violence is not found in going to the other end of the specter -- you still tip the balance; resulting in a fundamentally flawed one-dimensional way of thinking aka black/white addictive thinking pattern that we are prone to lean on. Because it is easy - we get to put people in our beloved boxes; tricking ourselves into thinking that we have evolved into accepting beings; yet ever so busy making up rules as we go... always adjusting depending on the flavor of the day... and our comfort (...)

One might say, that the Bible is judgmental; well, thing is we all know what is right and what is wrong at any given time deep within our core. Yes, we do - otherwise we wouldn't feel "bad" when we do certain things in life... and where did this conscience come from I ask? If there is no higher power, a conscience actually makes no sense at all. Only the one who created us is able to ever judge us - so if you ever go to a faith based society and find that you are judged by man... keep in mind, that this has nothing to do with faith or believing in God - it is power abused by man - and that occurs everywhere. That's life. This life, anyway.

But getting back to settling. I don't believe in settling... with anything or anyone. Nono I'm not commitment phobic - I am all for commitment, when it is natural and it flows. The point being, settling; as in losing yourself, your values and abusing other people to fill a void that you choose to ignore rather than step up to the plate and fix it. That is actually a very egocentric and not very caring approach to enter a relationship - we enter out of need and compromise.

I don't believe any one of us should settle down with anyone before we have our own lives straight... because two wrongs don't make a right, it only makes for postponing sorting your own messiness out; a distraction of sorts. And as humans, we sure do love our distractions, don't we. 

Unfortunately, you can only suppress symptoms temporarily - as with all things in life... so the pace we move at depends on how much pain we experience in the current situation... the more pain, the quicker we typically choose to develop and move on... the sweet lure lies in the pain that we can override via other distractions - Rx meds, addictions and whatnot. 

You self-medicate on these behaviors when you disconnect from your core being. 

You no longer need to self-medicate when you heal the disconnected ends within you. 

Simple.

You Are Not Special.

In case you missed it, here's an excerpt from the going-viral commencement address by high school teacher David McCullough, Jr. Already deemed the "You Are Not Special" speech.

"Resist the easy comforts of complacency, the specious glitter of materialism, the narcotic paralysis of self-satisfaction. Be worthy of your advantages…Like accolades ought to be, the fulfilled life is a consequence, a gratifying byproduct. It’s what happens when you’re thinking about more important things."

Lil' Kim... the lifestyle of the rich and the famous: sex, drugs 'n rock'n roll.
Does she exude happiness? How many drugs are needed to keep up this act.

The speech, basically, being a reaction to a vertically challenged generation drowning in options and narcissism - quite literally. Too many options, too little hierarchy and no common values does not make for a happy generation. It makes for a shallow, self-absorbed and compulsive generation where the drive for instant gratification and numbing behaviors is penetrating; never before in history have we seen this complete rejection of values, hierarchy and "anything goes" mentality, yet no one really wants to take responsibility for their actions - thus they numb themselves with (self)destructive behaviors.

Our current generation is categorized by spending hours on end discussing, analyzing what is right and what is wrong - and everything is supposed to be tolerated in the name of freedom. Even breaking down other people's chosen belief systems and values. That, unfortunately, is not freedom - quite the contrary.

The rise in addictions in this generation can be clearly linked to this confusion of self, no clear parental direction and that "everything goes...." sex, drugs, alcohol etc. etc.... a complete moral breakdown. Yes, yes I know I sound old-fashioned, the issue, however, is that with it, we are seeing a growing tendency towards chronic need for meds to manage our mood  - now more than ever. People are depressed; and you become depressed when you are disconnected. And you become disconnected, when what you do, goes against your core nature.
This is not about living up to some type of Mother Teresa here, it's about doing what makes you truly happy in the skin you are in.

Only you know when you do things that you need to follow up with a numbing act because you feel disgusted by what you have just done. Maybe you are not even conscious about it. Maybe it's something you have learned yourself to do on autopilot to deal with "life". Always following your work day with hanging out at the bars or binging on tubs of ice cream, or the steady flow of escorts. These are all drowning behaviors that numb you from temporarily feeling pain.

Life, however, does not need to be "dealt with". Life is a state of flow; it happens when you are connected and stand up for yourself. You still make "bad" choices, but you view them as learning experiences that enable you to move forward instead of repeating them and needing to numb yourself with destructive behaviors because what you call "life" is just breaking you in.

That is not life. Life builds you up. Makes you strong. But only when you choose to live life with open eyes and take off your blindfolds. 

I don't know your truth. I can't tell you how to live your life, because no one, except you, knows that. You can trick yourself into thinking that everything is fine, everyone else is doing it. Make no mistake: everyone else is not happy. Giving in to peer pressure does not bring happiness - it's the easy way out in that moment, but it makes you spiral downward.... disconnecting from who you are, what you truly want to be.

"Everything is possible" is the positive trait of this generation's mindset, but with it comes a responsibility for those consequences that follow whatever path you choose. Every action has a consequence. The larger your goal, the greater the risk - you must prepare for the consequences. And as of now, we are a generation characterized by kids told the sky is the limit, unfortunately no one has taught us that there are consequences we must face whether now or later. And as with all things - there are fees when we "buy" on credit.

If you're not willing to pay for the candy at the cashier - then don't eat it; it doesn't belong to you. And taking things that don't belong to you tends to make you sick.... one way or the other.

Changing pains.

You already have everything you need within you; everything to be happy and satisfied. It doesn't matter where you are or what you have - happiness is a state of mind. 
...And blahblahblah.

You've probably heard something similar, as this is commonly repeated over and over again amongst coaches, therapists and spiritual guides.

Unfortunately, this is not very motivating, depending on just how deep shit you are in. Yes, excuse my language here, but really - some of us are, or have been, in deep shit. So deep, in fact, that being told that we should "just be happy" because it is a state of mind, only adds to frustration, as we are very much aware already of the fact that we may have everything, yet we are just not able to connect - to be happy. Everything looks great on a piece of paper: handsome spouse that may adore you, cute kids, a suburban house the envy of Martha Stewart, and your ass is still pretty hot. Or, granted, you may not have any of this. It doesn't really matter, because the thing here is, that whether having it or not, you can be equally messed up and unhappy. The unique obstacle with the client who has nothing, however, is that this person will tend to live in the future - a dream world - where they convince themselves that if only they had x, y and z, everything in their life would be perfect. Perfection - always this search for perfection. A concept that does not exist thus keeps us prisoner on  the treadmill of life; going nowhere, but aiming for perfection by constantly upping the pace til we pass out from exhaustion. 

But because we convince ourselves that happiness is to be found in something external that we have yet to experience, we are very resistant to wake up and change before having experienced having everything and still being unhappy.

So what do both types of clients do - the one that has everything and the one that may be lacking certain aspects of whatever it is society tells us we need to be happy? 

They eventually end up on some therapist's couch and will hear a line somewhat similar to "you know, happiness is a state of mind, you already have everything within you!" Although, I too am guilty of saying this line - because it is true - it is imperative that this is followed up with a hands-on goal setting strategy as in: what's you current DOABLE next step to change. If you are stuck in quicksand in an environment that is contaminated by addiction to vanity matters and materialism - and your friends all have boob jobs and botox done for fun on their lunchbreaks; spending all their free time talking about the size of their asses and getting one manicure after the next; it's going to take a lot of work and constant struggle to swim against the stream. And if you are already weak, you're most likely not going to make it. 

Even though you already have everything you need within - all your muscles to swim against the flow are there, but if you have not used them for ages, you need to start out swimming in shallow water and not jumping head on into the pacific. That's how people drown - when they don't match where they are at with what they are capable of dealing with stress wise. 

You can only tolerate so much pain at any given time if you are to make it to the other side.

And sometimes that means you need to cut out people, places and spaces that are toxic for you right now - because you are just too vulnerable to deal with everything simultaneously during times of change. Again, you may want to go back to these places and people later on when you have developed a thicker skin (or you may not), where they no longer penetrate through to your soul and weaken your core being.

Nothing has to be forever. Nothing is forever.

Timing, however, is vital.

When you know what you want and what you don't want in life, it's time to come up with a step by step action plan. A therapist telling you to just be happy in the skin you are in is not leading you anywhere, unfortunately. Thus, it is not surprising that most people keep going to a therapist foreverever - and yet, they are not changing anything in their life, but adding to the size of their shrink's wallet. 

Although it may be nice to pay someone to listen to all your whining and complaining; you still end up with a sense of being a failure because you get told a message of that "you just need to be happy in the skin you're in" - just like that.

As much as I do adore kids games and tricks - magic is for kids only. This message of that suddenly you will wake up one day and be able to draw on your inner strengths is magical thinking.

Change takes action, planning and analyzing your current strengths and weaknesses to determine what is the next step for you right NOW! Yes, change is not always comfortable, but it is also not supposed to be so painful that you faint and numb out, or relapse into (self)destructive behaviors as a mechanism to sedate yourself out of the pain of change.

For successful change I have found the SWOT model to be of dire value when dealing with behavioral changes. I will have this tool available for download under "Health Tools" once The Nutrition Doctor's web portal is up and running end of August - a link will be here on my blog, so stay tuned!

Are you living life as a sheep?

Suffering only exists in the matrix, when you follow the herd instead of your calling.

If you are currently suffering in your life; you are stuck in the matrix.

Stop looking for some magic pill. Whether it is a health, or a “mind-game” issue; the temptation to look for a quick fix is, well, tempting.

As with anything, to truly solve it, you can only suppress the symptoms for so long, before everything crumbles. And that’s why I am always focused on curing the cause - whether I’m coaching a client in breaking free of an addiction or other self-destructive behavior, or understanding the root cause of their health imbalances as my work as a nutrition doctor. If it’s a health matter, it’s about understanding the language of your genes; rather than symptom management with Rx meds of which you can only afford to be on for so long before they will, in fact, kill you. And you can only understand the difference between symptom management and treating the cause, if you have a background in neuroscience and brain chemistry - because that is where the signals ultimately stem from. Yes, your brain controls your body. Simple, really. And yet, there is a profound lack of this focus in health care still. Very tragic, but there’s money in keeping “dis”-ease chronic, keeping you on meds and keeping you coming back for more.

And the exact same holds true for every other aspect of discomfort in your life.
When you are not emotionally at ease with yourself, you can attempt to drown and distract yourself in people/sex/drugs/food/money/work/shopping/botox etc. Only to find that you need more and more to suppress what is slowly building up inside you: a deep penetrating unhappiness that vibrates from your every cell. It is as if your body is screaming at you to stop participating in the insanity, but you just can’t decode the language because you have not been taught it.

Everything in society is centered around making you an “addict”. That’s where the money is baby. Unless you step out of the matrix, that is.

And when I say “addict”, I mean it in the broadest sense; it’s the accepted addiction of controlling other people’s every move; it’s your friend texting that hotshot a zillion times and asking why (s)he’s not responding yet. And yet the answer is obvious - because you are desperate. What are you exactly bringing to the plate, except draining other people’s energy and trying to call it love. It’s not love, honey: it’s demanding immature addiction to misery.

Or it’s the vanity addiction.
Posting 110 pics of yourself on Facebook from every imaginable and unimaginable angle all dolled up, posing for the cameras to get “liked’, because you don’t like yourself; it’s training for an eight-pack, when you already have a six-pack; it’s getting a D-cup, when you already have a C-cup; it’s getting another botox injection and you haven’t even hit 30 yet, but you are so scared of age showing up at your doorstep, because deep down inside you know that you are living the lie. And once time catches up with you, you’re done.
You are nothing but an empty shell that will crush under pressure.

Your shell is threatened by time only when it is hollow.

It doesn’t have to be that way.
Life is amazing the minute you let go of control, the moment you decide that you will no longer participate in the madness; you will not follow the herd and run off the cliff.

You will, in fact, step out of the matrix.

That’s why you work with someone who understands the language of your genes - or for that matter the language of life: because we were not handed a manual on how to live life, we tend to copy what others are doing in order to fit in; to not go against what is commonly accepted as the norm. We do this because we just want to be accepted. Please like me... please accept me... please forgive me.... please love me... pleasepleaseplease. Please give me what I can’t (or rather won’t) give myself.

Now I’m tempted to ask you, who exactly are these super loving and evolved beings, that are supposed to give you what you can't even give yourself, supposed to be? Where are they supposed to come from, if we are all living the lie and just waiting for a miracle to save us? Outer space? Because quite frankly darling, there’s a bigger chance of you being saved by an alien than by another human being.

People cannot save you from you. Life doesn’t work that way.

You must take the first step and change YOU. Everything else falls into place after that.

And yes, you are scared, I know. I know the feeling of fear all too well. Humans are scared by nature, that’s the only way to be brave. You become brave by overcoming fear. The strongest people are those who have suffered with the most penetrating fears and weaknesses. Yes, it’s true: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

How do you overcome the fear factor?
We are scared only because we have not yet accepted ourselves, thus we look for approval outside. Something that can never happen. And we get caught in the game of the matrix - constantly trying harder and harder to prove that we are, in fact, worthy. Worthy of love.

But who is going to love you, when you don’t even know what love is?
How will you be able to even recognize what love is, when you haven’t even mastered the first and most important relationship in your life, that which is with yourself?

Many of us end up in relationships because, well, then at least we live up to the expectation of what normal is. We have someone to share our... wait for it... misery with.

Isn't that just nice. Now we can complain about each other and everyone else under the sun to each other. On and on and on; it never ends - constantly affirming and confirming each other in our miserable lives and how tough it is and yadayadayada. Awesome.

This has nothing to do with love. 

You are abusing other people because you are not comfortable in your own skin. That’s not love, my friend: it’s desperation and people can sense it from miles away. And that is why you are repeating the same type of relationships again and again and again. That’s why you are going nowhere - because you are focused on suppressing the malignant disease within, instead of turning to yourself for once in your life and fixing YOU.

Stop the blame game.
I hear this constantly from friends and in my work, “oh, but why is he/she like that, why doesn’t he/she call me back, why does he/she treat me like that...” Whywhywhy. Stop it. Just stop it. It’s not them, it’s YOU. It is always YOU.
Grow up. Take responsibility. Stop the whining. You are spreading negativity all over the freakin’ place, and of course no one will want to be around someone like that. That’s why your relationships keep going down the drain. That’s why you keep getting the same results (or lack thereof). Yes, you can come across people who are messed up, and I’m not saying, it’s not a two-way street and only and always youyouyou. But really, if you keep hitting repeat, it’s you.

If you are not happy, you have been dealt the cards to solve it already. No one except you are responsible for your happiness - all the clingyness and neediness is just simply annoying lack of having developed you.

Love is freedom.
Love is not about trapping people; it’s about setting them free to be who they are meant to be. When you love something or someone you only want them to be happy. There is no sense of loss, no need to trap them. You only trap other human beings and inflict pain, when you are scared of being alone with yourself. And that is both vain, incredibly egoistic as well as being plain narcissistic.

If normal is what most people are doing, then no wonder your body is screaming to go against the norm - to turn around and run. Normal is depressed. Normal is morbidly obese. Normal is Tinseltown sickeningly skinny. Normal is ridiculous starvation diets. Normal is eating disorders. Normal is addictions. Normal is screaming at your spouse. Normal is paying an escort for what your wife can’t give you anymore. Normal is drowning your sorrows on the bottom of that whiskey bottle. Normal is...
I think you get where I am going.

Your core nature does not want to dive into what normal is because... it is insane; it disconnects you from who you are. From what you are truly able to be; what you were meant to be.

Disconnection is the key to all unhappiness.
And no, you cannot get connected by getting involved with other disconnected ends - it just makes for an intertwined electrical shortcut.

You get connected by stepping out of the matrix.
You get connected by going against the herd.
You get connected by waking up, feeling incredibly scared, almost being numbed out by the fear factor - and in that moment, you decide to either step up to the plate and crawl, walk, run - screamyellcry if you must - but goddammit, you will walk your way out of the matrix, whatever it takes; even when everybody is calling you crazy, saying to come back into the comfort zone. The comfort zone of collective misery - never forget that.

You walk out that door, slam it shut and never turn back.

Or, you dive back into the box, slowly self-destructing. And now even worse, because you have seen sanity, you know there is light outside the box.
You know that normal is, in fact, insane.
So it will take a whole lot more of addictive behaviors to numb you out this time around.

So what to do now?
First you make that choice  - that you will do whatever it takes to get out of the matrix.
You must make that choice, it’s not magically going to happen one day.

Step out of the matrix.
Stop following other people’s sick rules.
Rules in a game designed to kill.
You are meant for so much more.
Life. is NOW.

You can sign up for next available spot coming up in August for life coaching with The Nutrition Doctor here.

No Strings Attached.

"The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way." 

Now that's just nonsense. Sorry Robert Kiyosaki, but it is.

A lot of us who are still somewhat stuck in the matrix end up mesmerized by motivational quotes as the one by Kiyosaki above. These quotes are so deviously misleading because they seem powerful on the surface, but only serve as a thin disguise to speed up on the treadmill of life. You abuse these quotes to go nowhere; until you surrender from exhaustion; hitting the wall; calling it midlife crisis; yet midlife crisis is nothing but the moment we realize we have been living a lie; we have been sucked up in this image that we are told we should fit into; living other people's fake lives. 

Being driven, passionate and having desire - those seemingly awesome values can be our very downfall if you fail to understand how to manage them.

So how do you manage desire without becoming greedy, needy and scared of failure? 
You don't.
You manage desire by letting it be there.
By not controlling it. By cutting any attachments to it.

What am I talking about? 
Well, it means that of course you should have that zest for life... be VIBRANT... come ALIVE... be PASSIONATE! BUT. You do not want to desire something so bad that you lose yourself. Because what happens is that you live in the future, you are tricking yourself into this illusion that when you get whatever it is you THINK that you desire, your life will be perfect.
You will finally be whole.
Lies, lies, lies.

Nothing or no one makes you whole or happy.
Either you are whole and happy or you are not. Fix it and move on. Don't make someone get involved in your unfixed business out of vanity and desperation, because they CAN'T fix you. It has nothing to do with love. Well, actually that's not true. It has a whole lot to do with love. A penetrating lack of love for yourself, and that's why you so desperately seek out things, people, botox, pints of ice cream and/or drugs to fill that void within you.

And sometimes someone comes along who may love you for who you are, in spite of what you are....
And they may see you hurting, but they still can't fix you.
And you will end up resenting them for not fixing you, because you are still stuck in your misery at the end of the day.

Disappointment only happens when we are attached to things, when we are controlled by our ego, when we are not whole yet.

This is a very tricky topic to explain fully, because it doesn't mean that you should not care about other people, or not want to go to the next level.

I'll be frank - I have a weakness for fast cars, stilettos and ocean views. But if I lose my money tomorrow, and what I do for a living suddenly provides zero income, even though I do love what I do for a living right now; it's fine. Really, I'll just start over and see what else comes along in life. I have no fears losing out, and that means that I can risk everything and take it to the next level because I'm not attached to fear and material values. Sure, it's nice to have. But that's it. I have lived without stuff before, and it doesn't really matter. It does not define who I am, what I am worth or capable of doing in this life.

The moment you let go of your ego's attachment, so that your self-worth is not defined by external factors, you can achieve everything because fear no longer controls you.
Remember that where focus goes, energy flows.

The truly amazing thing here is that that happens without struggle when you let go... when you cut the chains of attachment. And that is also the very moment you are - because and in spite of everything - able to commit to another human being, because you are not abusing them to fill you up - you are simply enhancing YOU.

And that's what life is all about when all is said and done: being the best version of you and sharing.
No regrets. No disappointments.
Just taking it to the next level.

And sometimes you may tumble and fall, but it's OK - it's not YOU, it does not compromise your self-worth; it does not lead to disappointment because it does not define YOU - and that enables you to keep trying: no strings attached!

Calcium Supplements Increase Heart Risk (and NO you're not getting stronger bones either!)

Kate Moss  may be making milk addiction look sexy, but don't be fooled.
And did you know that milk products produce opiates and thereby qualify as narcotics?
May explain why many a drug addict like their cafe latte when not engaging in drugs;
unfortunately it keeps the pathways for addictive behaviors alive.
How's that for milk addiction.

Calcium supplements, usually taken to improve bone health, may increase risk of heart attack by as much as 30% according to the findings of the Women's Health initiative, a 15 year research project by the National Institute of Health.

Now how can this be? Well, what happens is that when your body is too acidic it takes calcium from your bones and puts it into your blood stream in an attempt to alkaline your body; and THAT is the reason why  most people get a decline in bone density as they age - it's NOT lack of calcium, rather it is a diet that does not match their unique genotype and thus favors a more acidic body pH!

If you take calcium supplements without addressing your body's pH balance and metabolic type, you build up excess calcium in your system that, coupled with mineral deficiencies and imbalances, can cause plaque built up in arteries, kidney stones, gall stones etc.

Does that mean you should never take calcium? No, but it does mean that you should be sure that you address all your mineral deficiencies simultaneously, otherwise yes: you will increase your risk of a stroke and the calcium will not go to your bones but only add further damage to your body!

What I recommend is taking a trace mineral supplement in ionic form to push your body pH more to the alkaline side and thus prevent calcium leakage from your bones. Also something like taking a green smoothie, containing collard greens, spirulina and add to that some apple or pear to sweeten it, in the AM is one of the best things you can do to change your body pH and build strong bones in a zap!

So, put down that pasteurized milk carton, cos it's got nothing to do with your bones, and it aint nothing but puss, hormones and dead bacteria.
And yes, that's pretty darn gross.

Reference:
M. J. Bolland, A. Grey, A. Avenell, G. D. Gamble, I. R. Reid. Calcium supplements with or without vitamin D and risk of cardiovascular events: reanalysis of the Women's Health Initiative limited access dataset and meta-analysis. BMJ, 2011; 342 (apr19 1)

Drink Your Shrink: Calming Lemon Balm Ice Tea

I love sipping this during the hot days of summer!
Lemon has an alkalizing effect on you body and thereby works anti-inflammatory together with the raw honey. Do remember that honey is one of those foods that absolutely must be taken raw (check the label, it should say raw on it). Excessive heating - as in pasteurization - changes its properties as it ferments; disabling your body from digesting it and turning into a sticky glue-like toxic substance in your body. This is also why pasteurized honey is a no-go in Ayurvedic medicine.

Lemon balm is one of those herbs that have been used since ancient times to calm an overexcited nervous system. Lemon balm has been found to reduce cortisol levels and also levels of an enzyme that breaks down the neurotransmitter GABA -- an inhibitory neurotransmitter known for its calming effects on the nervous system, particularly an area called the hippocampus.
To notice a significant calming effect and boosting GABA measurably, you need dosage levels of 50- 200 mg/kg body weight daily for three weeks.

The results of lemon balm's actions in reducing cortisol and preserving GABA promote cell growth and development in the hippocampus, which is part of the limbic system and contributes to the control of emotions such as anxiety.

A great and healthy alternative to Xanax which is one of the fastest growing prescription drug addictions in the United States, by the way. Xanax is a benzo used to treat anxiety and panic disorders; the side effects are vast and range from irregular heart-beat to depression. Even though Xanax may be used in short-term scenarios, keep in mind that it does not boost your brain-GABA levels which is the real key to overcoming anxiety for good!

You are anxious because your body's stress filter is off - so you need to restore it rather than simply suppress the symptoms temporarily!

If this doesn't do it for you, know that anxiety can also be a symptom of other brain chemicals being out of whack - i.e. excessive high dopamine, low serotonin and/or a combination. That's why it's important to understand your unique biochemistry type, so you match your diet, supplements and lifestyle with your genetic profile - whether it be for preventative or treatment related purposes!

An online biochemistry testing incl. lab analysis and a health provider service will be launching at The Nutrition Doctor's site Www.ChristinaSantini.com end of August, so stay tuned!

Makes 8 servings.

What's in it?

• Big bunch of fresh lemon balm stalks with leaves
  
• 1/2 cup of raw honey
• 1/4 cup of lemon juice
• 8 cups water

What to do?

• Stuff as much rinsed lemon balm into a slow cooker as will fit and cover with 8 cups of water - let simmer for about 3 hrs on low heat.
• Drain the resulting liquid into a pitcher
• While it's still warm, add raw honey and lemon juice. 
• Add more water to taste
• Chill before serving

Reference:

Dae Yoo, Jung Choi, Woosuk Kim, et al. Effects of Melissa officinalis (Lemon Balm) Extract on Neurogenesis Associated with Serum Corticosterone and GABA in the Mouse Dentate Gyrus. Neurochemical Research (13 November 2010), 

pp. 1-8, doi:10.1007/s11064-010-0312-2

Awakenings.

Living the lie. 

I believe it's human nature to be an addict. 
And I also believe that the temptation to give in to instant gratification makes for an outcome where we tend to gravitate towards ultimately (self)destructive behaviors that we become addicted to by repeating them again and again; reinforcing the reward mechanism and mapping out new paths for pleasure in our brain.

A brain that gets addicted to misery, unnatural highs and extreme lows. Insanity becomes our new sanity. We feel comfortable when we engage in patterns that our brain is used to recognizing and rewarding with a cascade of pleasure chemicals such as endorphins, serotonin, glutamate and dopamine. Every high, every instant gratification, outburst of rage... whatever our shadow is... is followed predictably with a crash. And so we must do it again - and often times in a more extreme manner, as we adapt to drugs and behaviors; dopamine is only stimulated by novelty. We get used to this way of being, and our brain responds with pain whenever we try to change our ingrained behaviors. Because it has no reward system attached to the new (healthier) habits we are trying to develop. Yet, that is.

Addiction is not limited to drugs - it's everything and anything.
Shopping, sex, drugs, alcohol, food, cutting, gambling, Internet and... even something like being a drama queen. You become addicted to the highs and lows, and your constant fits of rage and hysteria... you are actually turned on (unconsciously) by the emotional pornography and manipulative spiel you participate in. When you engage in a fight with someone, your body releases beta-endorphins - our natural painkillers - which are highly addicting. So yes, even "personalities" can be addictive.

Destructive behaviors are tempting for our basic instincts, when we have not become conscious yet. They tap into our shallow desires on a very primitive level. Now I am all for following basic instincts, but you need to be able to be driven on a much deeper level than what feels like s prickling sensation on your skin. Sensations come and go - passion (with reason) remains. But much worse is that when you give into the prickling, tingling sensation on your skin, it typically slits your veins when you least expect it, and leaves scars that often run soul deep.

So how do you know when you are following a shallow temptation?
When you are not selling your soul, you need no legislation or permission from anyone. Because it feels right. When you try to manipulate yourself and others by giving a thousand reasons why something is OK. It's not. It goes against your core beliefs. You can play mind-games with yourself. Distract yourself. Tell yourself you are fine. Everything is fine. Everybody else is doing it.

Wait. What. When did something become right, just because everyone else is doing it? 

Everybody's doing it... is how the worst scenarios in history unfolded.
Your life being no exception to this excuse.

Look yourself in the mirror. Do you recognize yourself? Self-loathing is tied to selling yourself short.
Why is this message so important for me to repeat over and over again - because I know this is the key to unlock every human being's bright light and endless potential. I know how painful it is to be a sleepwalker. And once you wake up, you can't go back to sleep.
All the pain and misery we feel is tied to a longing to connect with ourselves on a soul level. Follow your calling and become you. Become whole. And suddenly life is not that hard anymore.

Life, in fact, is very easy. 

Don't follow the herd as they run off the cliff, because that is essentially what we are doing - look around you - how many are not struggling with some type of destructive behavior to deal with life. AND LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. It's not that tough, it really isn't - it's all in our minds. And whether we choose to numb ourselves and ignore who we really are.


It is living the lie that is killing us and leads us down a road towards lifestyle diseases due to the suicidal lifestyles we choose to "cope" with the lies we tell ourselves - and others.
I don't have to tell you what's right - you know it. I don't know your truth. I don't know the lies you tell. But anyone who is not a sleepwalker can recognize the pain and suffering in others that are still lost in a haze.
If something makes you smile - just makes you radiate from within - do it, and do it again. Because then it's right. Everything else is tied to lies. You always get that slight metallic aftertaste that you need to wash down with a couple drinks if not. Just a little Anesthesia to take the edge off of your contradicting choices in life.

You numb yourself into unconsciousness.
And with no consciousness we don't think about the long-term consequences. All that matters is here and now. Typically because our choices cause chronic pain we get stuck in a drive for release this very moment, right now... want it now, need it now... nowNOWnow!
Or we will simply go insane. Or so we feel.

Posing for the cameras.
How many drugs does this lie take to sustain.

Feelings.
Of pain, rejection, discomfort in the skin you are in.
And wherever you look, there is a giant billboard screaming with a commercial for whatever "drug" or behavior you engage in; that you are fine. Everything is fine. This is normal. You are normal.
Paris Hilton does it. JLO is doing it. Heck, even your neighbor is doing it.
Do they seem like happy people to you? Why do you think they need all that makeup, botox and designer clothes... to cover up their hollowness inside... this is not rocket science.

Have you looked at how normal people are feeling and living lately?
All the silent screams. All the tears that never dry. All the pretension; the constant legalization of whatever we are doing, it's OK. Distracting yourself. Pretending it's not happening.

Go ahead dive in. Be part of the misery. Sell your soul.

Because that is essentially what you are doing, when you switch off the lights. Drowning in the darkness. 

And yet, if you can recognize any of these thought-patterns, it's too late to turn around, to go back to sleep, because you have seen the cuts... the blood stains on the floor. The vividly red streams cutting into the deep bottomless black that is within every human being.

Once you have awoken from your sleep, there is no escape. All EXITS are locked. You can either swim or drown, but you can't tread water anymore. Knowledge is power, but it comes with responsibility to take action.
You can't know and NOT do: If you've chosen to pull the curtain, you must stand up to whatever sight comes with it. There is no sneak-peaking once the curtain falls.

The first step is to wake up and stop pretending.

However painful that may be.